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Old 11-01-2012, 01:33 PM   #1
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Default Perceptions

I'm at an awkward spot in my weight loss where others' perceptions of me and my perceptions of myself are not syncing up. This bothers me sometimes, especially at work where I come in contact with strangers on a regular basis. People who don't know me say I'm skinny, small, tiny even. I'm not; I don't feel little or tiny or anything that indicates that I'm small by any means. I don't feel HUGE, but I know I'm not small and part of me wishes people would stop saying I am.

People who know me don't say I'm small, but they say I'm at a good spot and if anything I should just "tone up" and not lose anymore weight. I know for my own personal matters that losing more weight (i.e. body fat) and continuing to exercise would help me "tone up". I know that's not up to them and usually I take what people say with a grain of salt. But sometimes I actually think about it and I don't know, it just doesn't sit right.

I wish I could see myself the way other people see me. I'm starting to worry (and this is a bad habit of mine) that I'm never going to be satisfied with myself. Maybe it's just because I still have more weight to lose and I just need to let my body catch up with my weight loss, but everything below my shoulders just looks icky and flabby right now and I'm not happy with it. I do weight train, but I guess I haven't been doing it long enough to get the results I want.

I think I thought I would look a lot different at this point than I do, but ya know, I did -just- get out of the "obese" category so I guess I still have a ways to go before things start coming together. I'm just tired of all this bleugh on my body and when people tell me I'm tiny, I want it to actually be an accurate statement and be able to agree with them! I guess patience is key here, but it's just so dang hard sometimes.

Pooty on being obese for nearly your entire life. It seriously messes with you, doesn't it?
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Old 11-01-2012, 02:37 PM   #2
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I struggle with my perception of myself...no matter what weight I am at!

I have a mental image of myself at roughly the weight I am now. When I get heavier, I tend not to see it...until the dreaded camera comes out then I think Holy Moly what have I done. But the same is true when I get below where I am now...I just don't see it.

My doc has suggested now that I keep the camera handy and don't run from it. Be included in lots of pictures or have someone take some of me every coule weeks and compare them on a regular basis so I can get an accurate perception of where I am, and where I've come from.

I may as well give it a try!
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Old 11-01-2012, 03:33 PM   #3
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I relate to this SO MUCH! I don't have any answers or advice though. I struggle with this daily! Sometimes I feel totally fab, sometimes I feel totally fat. I just don't know.
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Old 11-01-2012, 03:51 PM   #4
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fake till you make it.

accept compliments.

honour yourself.

be kind.

do i see a giant loss? nope.

do i KNOW it's been a giant loss and that i'm tiny? yes.

you don't have to feel it, you just have to know it. that's where confidence comes from.
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Old 11-01-2012, 05:49 PM   #5
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And their comments may or may not be accurate, just like your self perception. For me, 170 and 5'3" looked fine, but I was NOT small. Way, way smaller than I'd been 90 pounds before, sure, but I was stil overweight and had a lot of body fat to lose, even with building muscle taken into account. Just accept where you are and take the compliments, but if you're not feeling done, you may not be! That's why I revised my goals downward. Initially this felt like a perfect stopping point, because I remembered looking good at this weight. And I do! But I also have a better perspective on my size now and see there's still healthy work to be done and another twenty or forty pounds off would look better and be even more health promoting, especially before the NEXT pregnancy

So don't feel bad if your mind is changing on where you are, that's not unheard of, either.
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Old 11-01-2012, 05:58 PM   #6
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Default re:

I don't think other people's perceptions and your own ever match up, for anything - whether that be weight, intelligence, or wealth.

I visualize myself at 200 lbs now, and I saw myself at 200 lbs when I was 281. I really have no idea how other people see me. I'd hope it would be smaller than that, but I have no control over it so I don't dwell on it.

I don't think it's really that important to change your perception of yourself, but to be comfortable with whatever it is.

Easier said than done I know.
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Old 11-01-2012, 08:07 PM   #7
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Just wanted to say that I very much relate to this, as well!
I really have a hard time trusting my own perceptions of my body. I have approximately the same good days and bad days now as I had lighter or heavier. /: I've learned that my self perception seems to be MUCH more related to my emotional state than my actual physical state!!
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Old 11-02-2012, 04:10 AM   #8
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I can relate as well. I havent been overweight my entire life. When I was 160 pounds (im 5'11) I looked good, but I still had issues with my self perception. A lot of it dealing with height, my broad shoulders, big feet, big hands.. need i go on?

Now, my goal is just to get back to the 160! Though, im sure that when i get there all those small insecurities will surface. I love myself anyway, and i think thats whats most important.

Back to the topic of perception, I was linked this site: http://www.mybodygallery.com/

You can put in your stats and images will surface of similar or the same stats. Its interesting to see. When i looked through it i thought "I am so much larger than these women that are the same height/weight/etc". So I kept playing with the stats until i found images that i thought looked similar to my body right now, and they were all 40 or more pounds heavier and at least 2-3 pant sizes larger than me. I see myself larger than I am, and playing around on that site just a few days ago was a huge eye opener for me.
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Old 11-03-2012, 05:55 PM   #9
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Perception is a huge issue for me too. I never realised how big I got, until I started to see pictures. Even then, it took not being able to sit comfortably in a stadium seat and not being able to keep up with my friends on vacation to motivate me. Now I'm 50lbs down, but I can't tell. I take pictures every month. I get compliments from people. I even sat in the same stadium seat comfortably. But I still find myself saying that the elastic must be going in loose pants, and crying when I look at myself naked because the weight loss has made everything droop and wrinkle.

But at the end of the day, I tell myself that the signs are there. One day a photo will tell the story of skinny, just as it did of fat.
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Old 11-03-2012, 06:14 PM   #10
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That website it very enlightening. I do think that the photos of the women close to my height and weight are pretty close to how I look right now. I enjoyed scrolling through the photos of women that are lower weights, too. It's good for motivation. I did notice that the women with muscles wore their weight much better than the less toned women...makes me think I really do need to focus on making exercise part of my plan.
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Old 11-03-2012, 06:32 PM   #11
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Wow, I really like that site.
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Old 11-03-2012, 07:32 PM   #12
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Yeah, My Body Gallery is great to help you with your body perspective. It is amazing too how body shapes carry weight differently. I try to match body shape with pant size and weight and I am thinking it is pretty accurate.
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Old 11-03-2012, 11:51 PM   #13
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It seems strange that so many people comment on your size... especially people who don't know you. Why would they feel free to do this? LOL I cannot imagine going up to someone -- especially someone I don't know -- and commenting on their size!!
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Old 11-04-2012, 07:19 AM   #14
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When my weight loss started I lost the first 30 lbs very quickly. Everyone was saying how great I looked but I knew I was still a long way from being done. I think everyone who has ever had a significant amount of weight to lose has had to deal with this.

Smile and say thanks because you know what? You do look good and think how much better you'll look when it's done!
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Old 11-04-2012, 10:10 AM   #15
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In my early 20's I starved myself down to 140lbs. I still felt fat I mean really fat.
When I look at photos I actually look skinny.
I can relate to this problem of body image but not sure I have any words of wisdom...it's your own opinion that counts though.
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