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Old 10-30-2012, 11:32 AM   #1
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I found this on another forum that I frequent... good advice... simple, straight to the point. And yes, helpful!! ~enjoy!!

******************************

My good friend Debbie called me the other day and asked for a little motivational help. She was struggling with giving up caffeinated tea, and asked me for the secret to giving up bad habits. She was setting in for a long explanation, figuring this had to be complicated, but with enough insight, she might just find the motivation to quit the habit.

I told her there was a secret, and to get ready. “OK”, she said, “I’m ready.”

So I told her the secret. It is to just begin.

Too often, we overcomplicate the process of change. We wait for a great moment, turning point, an inspiration. Forget it. Just begin. You might not finish. You might not stick with it. You may not beat the problem this month or this year. Who cares? You want to get rid of a bad habit? Just begin.

I told Debbie I could help her right then, but we would have to “commit a crime.” She laughed. What did I mean?

“Go get out your tea, bring it over to the sink while we are talking, and get some scissors,” I said. She laughed nervously. “I can’t believe you are making me do this!”

I had her cut the tea bags, and put them down the disposal. Gone. Poof. Kaput. Now she could just begin. I pointed out that if she wanted to change her mind, she could run to the store tomorrow and get some more tea, no problem. Well, that was two weeks ago, and guess what? She hasn’t bought any more, and she is kicking her habit. She’s begun.

Don’t wait for the golden moment. The turning point. The magic key. There isn’t one. If you want to change something in your life, don’t plan to change the whole thing at once and “really get into this.” Forget it. Just begin. Once you start, you just might build a little momentum. Commit a crime or two….toss some of the junk down the sink. Clean out the cupboard a little. A little crime can help get you going.

And a little saintly behavior can help too. Can’t get into an “exercise program?” Then don’t. Just begin. Six pushups, eight situps, a little jogging in place until you are tired. Right in your living room. You can begin right now…and in just a few minutes, you have discovered the great secret to change.
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Old 10-30-2012, 11:36 AM   #2
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Taking action is great advice but why does she need to give up the tea? It's that kind of all or nothing mentality that makes weight loss difficult for many people.

Not trying to bring down your thread because I think "Just Begin" is great advice it's just the subject matter that makes me scratch my head.
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Old 10-30-2012, 11:50 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnP View Post
Taking action is great advice but why does she need to give up the tea? It's that kind of all or nothing mentality that makes weight loss difficult for many people.

Not trying to bring down your thread because I think "Just Begin" is great advice it's just the subject matter that makes me scratch my head.
Who knows, John. Maybe the caffeine affects her health negatively? I know for me, caffeine gives me heart palpitations. Whatever the reasons may be, it's a change she wants to make in her life that she's been struggling with making. We don't have to understand every detail of the choices people want to make for themselves.

I think this "Just Begin" advice is really great and makes a lot of sense.
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Old 10-30-2012, 12:11 PM   #4
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LOVE IT!!

I told my aunt the same thing, or something similar one night when she was complaining about how she just can't lose weight. She needs to "work on herself" and once she gets herself "there" (wherever "there" is) then she can start. "I'm so stressed out!" I'm so this, I'm so that.... I told her, "I say this with love and this is just my observation... you tend to keep working on preparing yourself, but you never get around to actually starting". She wasn't too happy with that statement. I know she's in a really bad place, but it's not going to change any time soon, so she may as well just start.

Just a response to an earlier post, it's true the all or nothing mentality can make things difficult for dieters. I agree with that. But sometimes our self imposed restrictions are necessary, especially when just getting started. This woman in the story wanted to give up caffeinated tea. It's not like she couldn't get caffeinated tea anywhere... go to the store for more bags, go to QT for a cup, indulge while at a restaurant..... She just didn't want it in the house, taunting her.
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Old 10-30-2012, 02:18 PM   #5
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Life is always happening. There's always stress, there's always drama, and there's never really a "right time" to start anything . . . well, other than now.
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Old 10-30-2012, 03:46 PM   #6
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I totally agree. There was a stop smoking campaign that kept running through my head about "never quit quitting" that rang true to me when I tackled the 100 lb weight loss.
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Old 10-30-2012, 04:14 PM   #7
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This kind of reminds me of Eckhart Tolle's book - The Power of Now. Great book by the way if anyone is wondering.

It's all about focusing only on what is in front of you right now.
The past, the future and all the thoughts you have outside of what is in front of you right now don't mean anything.

All that matters is this moment here. This where life is!

It sounds so simple and obvious, but I think alot of my problems come from not living in the now, but worry about the future and thinking the past = future.

If you live in the now you control everything with ease.

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Old 10-30-2012, 04:26 PM   #8
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Love that! So true. Sometimes those HUGE moments that we wait for to make some sort of amazing impact, just never come. Just starting is GREAT advice.
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Old 10-31-2012, 01:40 AM   #9
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Totally agree. Very well put.

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Old 10-31-2012, 12:09 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnP View Post
Taking action is great advice but why does she need to give up the tea? It's that kind of all or nothing mentality that makes weight loss difficult for many people.

Not trying to bring down your thread because I think "Just Begin" is great advice it's just the subject matter that makes me scratch my head.
Read the little story again, John. It wasn't about "weight loss" for Debbie's friend. It was about giving up caffeinated tea. That was "her habit". Who knows *why* she wanted to give it up? She just did. But it's the ADVICE ITSELF that I felt important to mention here.
__________________
CHANGE IS HARD.
BUT PERPETUAL DISSATISFACTION AIN'T NO PICNIC EITHER!


You CAN have ANYTHING you want,
but you CAN'T have EVERYTHING you want!
~my mama!
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Old 10-31-2012, 02:04 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beach Patrol View Post
Read the little story again, John. It wasn't about "weight loss" for Debbie's friend. It was about giving up caffeinated tea. That was "her habit". Who knows *why* she wanted to give it up? She just did. But it's the ADVICE ITSELF that I felt important to mention here.
I read it right the first time but I didn't do a great job of explaining what i meant, obviously.

First though, to be clear, I completely agree with the point of just begin.

What I have a problem with is the idea of drinking caffienated tea as being classified as a "bad habit". Something as innocuous as drinking tea as the example of "begin now" isn't the greatest way to demonstrate the point. I relate this to weight loss in the sense that so many people take an all or nothing aproach to dieting and that is the reason they fail.

Hope this is making sense.

The classification of tea and context of the story alludes to a bigger problem of people feeling they need to have a perfectly healthy diet. I wouldn't have said anything at all but the idea of "clean" eating and food classification that so many people do of "good" and "bad" is a part of the problem in my opinion.
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