Struggling with a few things..
 

I think I am extra hormonal or something right now.. because I am like in a really weird place!
So, all of a sudden.. I must have gotten a woosh of inches off of me. I fit into my size 7 goal Jeans that I've carried around with me for 6 years hoping to fit into them again some day. These were the "ultimate" jeans, I thought.. if I could just be able to wear these again I would be happy!
Well, It feels surreal I can wear them, but the problem is I am still very much OBESE! Keep in mind I am very short. I am not feeling as happy with myself as I thought I would be if I could fit into them! Ideally I should be a size 0 I think because of my frame/height. So I still have a long way to go.

And another thing, I don't know if it's loose skin or what but my stomach looks like a pale white prune. It looks.. gross. And when I look in the mirror I feel like I look fatter than ever? It's the strangest thing.

I am the smallest I've been in 6 years but I am more unhappy with myself than ever it feels like. I don't know if my standards keep changing? Like the lower I get, the higher my standards of what I should look like keep raising?

I hope I don't seem immature by posting this and I am trying to get ahold of my thoughts and keep my chin up!

I am 5'0" tall and small boned, right now I am hovering between 114 and 118. , 114 being preferred. I wear size 6 or 8 depending on manufacturer, etc. I don't ever expect to see size 0.

When I was 130lbs I was a size 3 and I was still chubby with a high body fat %. I am small on bottom and I carry most of my weight up top.

Digging around for a picture.. I was about 130-135 in these pictures and those pants were a size 3 juniors. I still have them somewhere. So I don't think a size 0 is unreasonable because I believe 130-135 is still overweight for my height.

http://i175.photobucket.com/albums/w...beforebaby.jpg
http://i175.photobucket.com/albums/w...eforebaby2.jpg

I think it takes a while for the mind to catch up with the body. Even though you have lost weight, your mind still tries to see the overweight body.

Yeah I think this is part of it. My mind is playing tricks on me!

I grown woman who is 5 feet tall does not need to be a size 0. I understand that is your perception of yourself but do you realize when you state such things you may make other women feel bad about themselves? You aren't at your goal yet. You could do a lot of changing by then. Don't worry about it now and don't feel like you have to fit into a size 0 to be good enough.

I don't know why my topic has turned into a discussion on being a size zero lol
Everyone is built different! A size zero on me may be a perfectly healthy size but maybe to another woman of my height it might be unrealistic because of they way they are built.

But that wasn't the point of my thread. I am just struggling with the changes in my body. I am not as happy as I thought I would be fitting into these jeans that I thought would fix everything :-)
And my stomach looked better at 210! At least it was full.. now it looks like a deflated balloon..

Again, I don't see how what I said could be offensive to anyone? No one else has exactly my body type or shape. I don't know what size I will be once I am at a healthy weight but it's not unrealistic to expect a size 0 because when I was a size 2/3 I had far too much body fat still and I was still overweight on the BMI chart.

Anyway, size 0 or 10 or 20 is irrelevant. I was just sharing my body image struggles at this time.

Give it time, both the skin and self perception DO get better, I promise :). Unless you truly have an organic brain imbalance contributing to body dysmorphia, your mind will catch up.

As for sizing, I don't think the girl in that photo could have sustainably lost more than ten pounds without massive hunger/obsessiveness, but she could have definitely used some muscle building. That will cinch you in like nothing else ;)

I agree.
also you skin just lost weight..
it needs some time to get it's elasticity back.

Hang in there sweet pea! If you are young and healthy your skin will bounce back. I understand how you feel about stating a desired goal (weight, body fat %, or jean size) only to hear others scoff. You know your body best and you know where you feel best....keep doing what you're doing!

I am your exact same height 5 feet and at 114 the smallest size I can wear is a size 6. I have been able to wear size 4 Dockers but they are the exception. I can't even imagine being able to wear a size 0. You are right 130-135 is overweight for us at 5 feet tall.
This just proves everyone is different people of the same weight do not always wear the same size clothes.

PS I am not offended by anything you have said and I am not scoffing you. either.

The pics are of me before I gained weight but I never did any regular strength training or muscle building, just running! I was very flubby.

am i the only one who thinks she looks amazing in those pics? i dont see any chub...

Give it time, it takes a while for the mind to catch up. At my heaviest (size 22), i thought a size 12 was minuscule. Now I'm in a 4/6 in bottoms and if anything, I see more flaws in my body than I did at size 22. Some days are better than others and I have to remind myself how far I've come and why and how it has benefitted me. This journey is just as psychological as it is physical.

Your skin will probably improve a lot (especially if you're young and/or have good genes and/or werent overweight for very long) once you maintain at a weight long enough to give your body time to settle but sometimes with losing mass amounts of weights, there will be scars- that's the unfortunate truth. Don't borrow trouble though, you won't know your final results until you get there. Keep working out for the body you want, watching your diet for weight loss, I'm sure you'll meet your goals. Congrats on your achievements so far!