First of all, I currently live with my mother, who has recently had a kidney transplant. (She's doing wonderfully
, so I'm surprisingly unstressed about that.)
The reason I make a note of that is that before, when she was on dialysis, we were on different diets, but it was okay because she didn't eat junk food. Now
, however, she is encouraged to eat things like chips, pretzels, juice, candy, etc., because of the transplant (keeping the water she has to drink inside for longer, or it'd run right through her). This has made things a little tougher for me because those are major trigger foods for me.
I'm not blaming her for anything. It's not like she offers them to me or even eats in front of me teasingly or whatever. I just...I can have a super "on plan" day until, maybe, 6:00 (I've probably exercised by then. Sometimes even twice) and then...bam, I'll sneak one chip or pretzel that soon becomes several servings of them, ruining everything. I try to remain upbeat about it the next day, but I feel pretty terrible.
I'm trying to focus on the fact that I've lost a LOT already and should be really proud of myself for what I've done, but the last couple of weeks of been heinous. (I thought I survived the worst of it when I got through my uncle's visit. He eats late and all the time. He DOES offer food. *sigh*)
Reaching 100lbs. is turning into a pipe dream.
Is it normal to start self-sabotaging when you're so close to a major goal?