I know there are many posts on this, but I'd love to hear your input!
Personally, I just restarted losing weight again and it has been a lot tougher than I remember. I am an avid fast food eater, and I devour snacks emotionally.
I have finally made the call to start weight loss again, but I am trying to get over these struggles.
I'd like to know:
1) How you stay motivated throughout this whole process and before/after binging?
2) How do you remain optimistic after having a bad week on the scale?
3) How do you cope with going out to restaurants with friends/coworkers?
I feel like I could turn this post into a long rant, but I am feeling suffocated from those around me. Even when vocal, my coworkers still tempt me with donuts, my boyfriend still wants to go out to eat, etc. While I know it is my decision 100% of what I put into my body, the temptation breaks me! I know that I am not alone with feeling like this and I could use all the advice I get!
Well, it's been hard for me to stay motivated, and usually I'm a fairly stubborn person. Since I like looking at fan art, I think about how I want to be as thin as the people in the pictures. If you're not an art person, it could be other things. Just try not to be sad about it, be happy about everything else in your life, and hopefully the two will mix and will become motivation!
When I'm at a restaurant with others, try talking more than eating, and eat slowly! If you eat slow, you'll realize you're full before you're done, and then you can finish the yummy food at home! Or in the case of your boyfriend, you could try recommending something to do other than eating out, like maybe going on a walk in an exciting place. Or you could go see a movie and hold off on the expensive food.
Try telling coworkers that you're on a diet and you appreciate the offers, but you really shouldn't. Also think about how you'll feel after eating something like a doughnut. I never feel that good, I dunno about you. You could try making a healthier type doughnut at home, that way you'll be less tempted later.
For your first question I really don't binge that often, but I did last night. I don't really look at it as failure. I try to monitor my feelings DURING (which was "why are you doing this?" and after how my body feels (like if I was bloated or something, I wasn't last night but like say I would have eaten tons at a Chinese buffet I probably would be bloated and icky feeling), and then I create a plan not to do it again (last night I just bought a new weight loss book, not because my new WOE isn't working, but these things keep me motivated personally).
I've not really had a bad week on the scale. I know during my cycle I'm going to probably gain 1 week a month. It just is. I would worry if I didn't lose weight and was actually FOLLOWING my WOE and workouts after about 3 weeks because weight loss isn't linear. The 1-2 pounds a week, guess what? In my experience it's maybe 2 pounds one week, nothing the next, 1 pound the next, 3 pounds another week...up 1 pound. I look for long-term trends. For *me* one week certainly isn't a trend unless I know I'm eating crappy food consistently.
Restaurants are hard. I eat slower than my husband and most men I'm around. My girlfriends that are slim tend to eat my speed, and the rest it depends on the person. So that's not a problem. The problem I have is probably stupid, but I always think "why am I spending $15 on a freaking salad with 3 ounces of chicken that I don't know for sure what's in it and I could make at home for less than $5!" I hate spending money on food that I can't control and that bothers me. BUT I also tend to look at it as a challenge, trying to find the healthiest lowest caloric thing on the menu (which is still going to be more than at home, almost guaranteed) for the best value. I am starting to see food as FUEL versus love or giving me something I'm lacking. Sure I love the taste, but food is NOT everything. It's really IMO a small thing and when you take the negotiating out of what you're going to eat (i.e., I AM going to eat this when I get to that restaurant) you've got more time and energy to do other things in life.
Tough questions, and no easy answers. I'm a binge eater and even after losing almost 80 lbs and being on the journey for almost 2 years, I still have problems with binging. I just got home from a somewhat stressful family vacation and for 2 weeks before, I had binges almost every day.
I think I have learned to handle it better because I have truly accepted the following: I am in it forever - meaning, I am not going to "give up" because I had a binge, or even a bad week or bad month. When I realized and accepted the fact that I was a binger who would likely struggle with it forever, but that I was not going to ever revert back to the "old me" - it became a lot easier to forgive myself and move on. After many many attempts to lose weight, this is the most I have lost, the longest I have maintained and the most confident I have ever been. I believe it is all due to the fact that I finally accepted these life changes as permanent.
I also found that some weeks, weighing myself on my weekly schedule is harmful rather than helpful. I completely agree with owning up to my mistakes and not avoiding the scale forever; but, when I know I have had a bad week of binges, I make my goal for "getting back on track" rather than "losing weight" - so I might go 2-3 weeks without stepping on the scale until I feel strong and confident enough to do so. Again, because I have accepted this as a forever plan, it's easier to give myself a couple weeks to "correct" myself.
Good luck to you!
__________________ The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender. ~ Vincent T. Lombardi ~
Spiritix: That's really cool that you get your motivation from fan art! My boyfriend is actually an artist and always drawing really in-shape women, so I know what you mean!
SerinityDiva: Those are good tips on eating. I always feel like I"m a ravenous eater and I finish meals before anyone else. I definitely need to eat a lot slower.
Lunula: It's refreshing to hear that you can still lose weight and binge occasionally. What are your binges like? I agree with you about the scale, too. When I see higher number than I want, I have given up in the past. So frustrating!
As for before, I was taught one thing that really helps. Don't focus on trying not to binge- it's too big of a goal at first. But instead you can focus on delaying it. Find something active and engaging to do, and say "I'm going to do this for 20 (15, 30) minutes and if I still feel the need to binge after that, fine." I have a list of good things- knitting, taking a bubble bath, drawing/painting, going for a walk. Studies have shown that the key to not binging is delay- most binges can be averted if you delay them an hour and a half. If you start today and can delay a binge by 15 minutes, maybe next time you can delay it by 20. Or maybe you go back to 10. It's okay. Eventually you'll get better and better at delaying until you reach the critical number, where you don't need to binge anymore.
After a binge: Forgive yourself immediately, drink lots of water, go right back on plan, and don't step on the scale for a few days. Guilt is a useless emotion when it comes to binges. Besides, long term patterns are much more important than momentary and hopefully isolated deviations from the plan. Also maybe investigate the emotional roots of the binge. Look for potential nutritional shortcomings that may have empowered the binge or cravings to take over and how to fix them.
To remain optimistic: Know that you are changing your whole life. This is not just a temporary diet, this is a way of life. There will be ups and downs. The goal is to be healthy, not skinny. Be prepared for the weight to come off slowly and not at all steadily. Persistence, patience, and a positive outlook are what cause long term success.
How to handle restaurants: I make sure to never go into a restaurant starving. Never let yourself get too hungry. If you need to eat something before so you are not a walking hunger monster when you get there, DO IT! Drink plenty of water before, during, and after the meal not only because it blunts hunger, but also because restaurant food contains much more sodium than your body wants or is used to. This will cut down on post meal sodium induced water retention. If the restaurant has a menu online look it over carefully, decide ahead of time what you will order, and don't even entertain the idea of changing your mind once you get there. Going in too hungry and/or without a plan can be dangerous. During the meal have fun, enjoy your food and your company, and RELAX! Savor your food and mentally check in with yourself from time to time to gauge hunger and keep from slipping into feeding frenzy mode. Remind yourself that you are in control.
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself. - Eleanor Roosevelt
You say you love fast food. Can you become a bit more of a food snob and INSIST on feeding yourself only delicious, high-quality foods that happen to have some health value? Once your palate learns to discriminate between gourmet-quality food and greasy, pasty, artificially flavored, overly salted junk, big Macs lose a bit of their luster...
Last edited by freelancemomma : 08-27-2012 at 05:18 PM.
ur in this for the long haul so... ur human u will make mistakes but now u wont dwell on them u will learn from them! u pigged out on (insert sweet)ok its over drink more water to flush the sugar add more movement to burn it n next time grab sweet FRUIT choose a healthier option! ate a whole bag of chips? damn, wanted salt n crunch next time crunch of veggies n a healthy dip (hummus maybe"). if ur gonna add on calories make em healthy calories! moral~ u fall down, jump back up dust urself off n move on!
~I can't change how people act BUT... I can change how I react to people~ crossed over to ONEderland on 12/10/12
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