3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community  

Go Back   3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community > Support Forum > Weight Loss Support

Weight Loss Support Give and get support here!

Thread Tools
Old 07-17-2012, 07:52 PM   #1
Senior Member
CherryPie99's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northern NY
Posts: 1,921

S/C/G: 344/119/116

Height: 5'1"

Default Living with regret...

This is from my blog post today. Despite being close to goal, I'm a little down today. Please tell me I'm not the only person that feels this way...

So now that I'm almost at goal, I've been doing a lot of reflecting. I realized yesterday that I am really fit. Not only are my running times pretty damn decent for someone who has been running as short as a time I have, but between lifting weights and all the other workouts I do, I'm strong and just in good shape.

That led me to coulda, shoulda, woulda. What would my life have been like if I had made this decision to be thin and fit when I was in high school. Or even college. Or, ****, even 10 years ago??? I mean, I clearly have some athletic ability in me.

Which then leads to me to be REALLY super ANGRY at myself. I should not be 40 years old and making these discoveries. I feel like I have wasted the best years of my life being fat and unhealthy.

I intellectually know that every choice I've made has led me to where I am right now. And I think that I'm a pretty okay person. But still, it doesn't feel great to be full of regret.

I'm hoping that a little ways down the road that I can forgive myself and just enjoy where I'm at now. Better late then never, as they say. And life, well, it's pretty ****ing good today. However, I'm not anywhere close to forgiving and accepting myself.

"I'm through accepting limits, cause someone says they're so. Some things I cannot change but 'til I try I'll never know!" ~ Wicked ~

"Have you ever looked fear in the face and said 'I just don't care!'" ~ Pink ~


My goal reached thread http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/goal...ncers-say.html
CherryPie99 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-17-2012, 08:13 PM   #2
Senior Member
seagirl's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: East Coast US
Posts: 2,440

S/C/G: 195/180.2/165

Height: 5'9"


40 here too. And a new runner. And I posted something similar on the weight loss confessions thread. Why did I wait this long? Why didn't I start running and doing races and triathlons when I was in my 20's? Why did I waste most of my 30's with the wrong guy?

I practice saying "I forgive myself" a lot. And just keep working at it. Like running, and weight loss it doesn't happen over night, and there is back sliding.
It's about commitment, not motivation.
seagirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-17-2012, 08:16 PM   #3
On a break with Baby #5
Arctic Mama's Avatar
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Alaska
Posts: 3,754

S/C/G: 257 /ticker/ 160

Height: 5'3" - I got taller!


It happens. Preface your regret with realizing that every step you took on your way to this point was necessary, even if it was painful or feels wasted. Life isn't for do-overs and regrets, and the challenges along the way give us empathy for others, wisdom to dispense, and humble gratitude for the chance to do better every new day we live.

Big hugs, and congratulations.
Taryl - http://www.aurorafiberarts.com/weightloss

Weight loss since Oct 2008:
Arctic Mama is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-17-2012, 08:20 PM   #4
Optimistic cynic
Steph7409's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Albany, NY
Posts: 1,077

S/C/G: 225/138/125

Height: 5'3"


I'm older than you, so I have more years of being overweight to regret. I try to deal with it the same way I've tried to deal with my compulsive eating, by telling the self-hating voice in my head to shut the **** up. I just give it a nod of acknowledgement that yes, my life would have been better had I been thin, but I can't change the past and I'm not going to let regret bring me down.

You've done a remarkable job of self-improvement and should be proud of yourself and looking ahead. Forgiving yourself is hard, but you've shown that you can do the hard stuff!
I want to free myself from the burden of inaction. I want to raise myself to any plane I can imagine. ---Crowded House

Steph7409 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-17-2012, 08:29 PM   #5
Embracing the suck
JohnP's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: California - East Bay
Posts: 3,185

S/C/G: 300/234/abs

Height: 6'9"


Ponder this...

"Make the most of your regrets; never smother your sorrow, but tend and cherish it till it comes to have a separate and integral interest. To regret deeply is to live afresh." - Henry David Thoreau
"Getting solid information is easier than ever. Getting misinformation is even easier." - Kaplods

Maintaining for two years and I eat whatever I want - just not however much I want. Details here.
JohnP is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-17-2012, 08:34 PM   #6
Leveling Up
sontaikle's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: New York
Posts: 3,655

S/C/G: 200+/115/115

Height: 5'3"


First: You are and always have been a big inspiration of mine You are AMAZING!

We are all the sum of our memories and life experiences. You are the person you are today partially because of your super awesome inspirational weight loss. You'd probably be someone else—not the you that you are now—if you hadn't gone through this.

I try to remember that whenever I start thinking: "why didn't I do this years ago?" I wasn't supposed to do this years ago—I was supposed to do it now. Going through this experience has taught me so much that I probably would have missed out on had I been thin "naturally" and I know in my heart that I just wasn't ready earlier in my life.

I can wonder how my life would have been had I be thin earlier, or I could be out there now, living it and making up for lost time

Goal Story & PicturesBlogPep Talk Blog

Last edited by sontaikle; 07-17-2012 at 08:34 PM.
sontaikle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-17-2012, 09:52 PM   #7
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Somewhere in Texas
Posts: 679

S/C/G: 331/164/164

Height: 5'8"


Wow, from 330+ to 121??? My new idol!

I feel very much the way you do. I feel that I have missed out on so much in life, trapped inside this at body. I should have addressed it once and for all soooo many years ago but didn't.

It does get me down and I feel so much regret, like life passed me by. But all I can do is try to be optimistic about the future. I look forward to the future now, instead of living with the fear that my obesity will kill me. I hope to get a promotion one day, and find a new boyfriend, and pursue travel, golf, hiking, and all the other activities that I can now do because of my weight loss.
KittyKatFan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-2012, 12:13 AM   #8
Jillian stole my abs!
shcirerf's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Go Huskers!
Posts: 2,652

S/C/G: 195.8/138/140

Height: 5'5"


Learn from the past, live in the present, and embrace the future!

5+ year maintainer.
The human body is capable of amazing things! But without the mind, it is nothing. Get your mind in gear and the body will follow!

Be selfish about caring for yourself, you deserve it!
Weight Watcher leader! But always a Member first!
shcirerf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-2012, 09:36 AM   #9
On a Mission
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,202

S/C/G: 246/193/169

Height: 5'9"


They say hindsight is 20/20. But please don't spend too long looking back. All of that was what spurned you to get to where you are now. Where you are going is always more important than where you've been.

Calorie counting gave me a method to fix the madness.

A high protein, moderate carb balance gives me control over cravings.
4star is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-2012, 09:46 AM   #10
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 578

S/C/G: sz 14-16/sz 10/sz 10 now sz 8

Height: 5'7"


Cherry - I'm so sorry you feel this way b/c you do look amazing. Another poster wondered why they were with the wrong guy for so long & it made me think, EVERYONE has regrets- your weight appears to be yours.

Had you had a different weight/start at a younger age, who knows where you might be today right?? It could have led to other regrets - the shoulda/coulda road is TOO hard to contemplate honestly.

Also - 40 is NOT old - you have decades ahead of you to enjoy honestly. I really hope you forgive yourself soon b/c you might look back in another 10 years and regret being so angry...

"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference."
lm3898 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-2012, 09:48 AM   #11
Overweight again...dang
twinieten's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Arizona
Posts: 876

S/C/G: 213/160.3/135

Height: 5'5"


The are the thoughts I've been having too. Shoulda' Woulda' Coulda'. I hate that feeling.
"Nothing tastes as good as thin feels!"

twinieten is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-2012, 10:15 AM   #12
I want to feel better
MablesGirl's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 470

S/C/G: 291.2/???/healthier

Height: 5 foot 3.5 inches


Cherry, I understand exactly how you feel. Of course, right now mine is "how could I let myself go this way?" type of coulda. why did I wait so long is sort of my next goal, I suppose. But thanks so everyone for all the great advice, and I'll try to remember it myself.
MablesGirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-2012, 02:28 PM   #13
Senior Member
LaurieDawn's Avatar
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 2,581

Height: 5'5"


Weight loss is HARD. And maintaining that loss is even harder. I won't add to the great advice about your regrets, but I would encourage you to celebrate the past accomplishments and steel yourself for the hard work of future accomplishments. Who knows? You might find yourself in a career as a motivational speaker or fitness specialist or reality TV star. I'm not really a big "everything happens for a reason" person. But I am a HUGE "This is how it is, and check out how amazing it is now" person.
onederland in 2016
LaurieDawn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-2012, 02:45 PM   #14
Senior Member
Garnet2727's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Lansing, MI
Posts: 772

S/C/G: 298/ticker/175

Height: 5'7"


I have similar regrets. It hit me very forcefully at my last weigh in that if I had done this in high school, I'd be finished with losing weight and on maintenance now. As it is, I'm 48 and I've got around 90 more pounds to go. It's hard not to have regrets but I have to focus on the fact that I am losing weight and getting more fit now. I can't change the past; I can only move forward.
Garnet2727 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-2012, 03:48 PM   #15
Senior Member
freelancemomma's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 2,213

S/C/G: 195/145/145

Height: 5'11"


Originally Posted by CherryPie99 View Post
That led me to coulda, shoulda, woulda. What would my life have been like if I had made this decision to be thin and fit when I was in high school. Or even college. Or, ****, even 10 years ago??? I mean, I clearly have some athletic ability in me.
You can spin it the other way: What if you had waited another 10 years? 20 years? Good thing you did it now, right? From where I'm sitting (55), 40 is very young! And there are lots of athletic events where you can still shine, including some geared to specific age categories.

freelancemomma is offline   Reply With Quote

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
12 weeks to Take OFF!!! Who's with me??? PrimeTime 20-Somethings 552 06-13-2011 10:36 AM
300+ sexuality issues linked with weight loss [Note: Frank Discussion!] NotTheCheat 300+ Club 106 02-12-2008 02:49 PM
Dieting with Diabetes - May '07 meowee Diabetes Support 212 06-01-2007 08:53 AM
When did you move in with your sig. other? Indychick829 General chatter 47 02-26-2007 01:57 PM

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:10 PM.

We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.

Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.3.2