We went to dinner last night with friends, they gave us some grief about all the special request we made when ordering dinner (grill the seafood dry, steamed veg instead of potato etc) but after we all laughed about it they said "seriously, you guys look great, ordering with all the special instructions has been good to you".
Sometimes we turn those comments into a joke, sometimes we just ignore it, sometimes I say yes, that would taste good but I should stay on my plan...
I think the response is different based on who is giving you a hard time.
I know the people who work for my husband have made jokes about how he never eats anymore, but he just explains that he eats, it's just things we make at home ( they have a lot of lunch meetings that are catered). He has been getting questions about which diet fad he is on, then he tells them how he eats whatever he wants, they get frustrated/jealous. I told him that he should explain better, we eat spaghetti and meatballs, but every ingredient is low cal, fat free, home made etc.
Stick with it! Don't let them get to you. Eventually when results become apparent people will realize that whatever you're doing is working and maybe they should shut the **** up. Or they may bother you further...it's hard to say and it depends on the individuals you surround yourself with.
I don't have time for these people anymore. Getting made fun of for my food choices kept me fat longer than it should have and food pushers derailed me more times than should have occurred. It's tough, but you need to have a spine and defend your lifestyle and have the guts to withstand the food pushers.
Don't back down and yell if you have to. I've done it. I've yelled at my mother because she kept offering me something I didn't want and I've even been nasty to members of my fiance's family because they wouldn't leave me alone about eating something.
You'll be deemed rude, you might lose friends, and you'll annoy people. Those people aren't worth it. YOU are worth it. Don't keep up appearances by sacrificing your health.
I tell people who criticize or try to screw my diet up that I'm happy that way of eating is working for them but my body chemistry is different. I am very happy on my diet bc I'm in control of my cravings and am losing weight slowly and healthily.
I say 'no thank you, I'm not hungry'. I continue politely with that and try not to give in. I've gotten much better about that in the last year than I used to be, but it takes practice and commitment to stick to your guns.
Last edited by Arctic Mama; 07-15-2012 at 11:30 PM.
I just say " No Thanks, I'm good." I'm following Weight Watchers, but very few people know. I also tend to keep my conversations with the server quiet. I'll say. I have a question...and they usually move to be right at my side. Then I handle all my ordering so no one really hears anyway.
I didn't really want people to know because I don't really want any comments about what I'm eating. I don't really have too manu food pushers in my life. The people who assign themselves watchdogs of anyone who is on a diet get on my nerves the most. "Oh look! She's eating a brownie. Bet that isn't part of her diet."
Actually I was having pancakes once and my sister (who does know) said "Not following the plan today huh?" And I just said "Oh yes I am, this is going right on my tracker and it is accounted for."
I'm just one for everyone minding their own business and staying out of each other's plates.
I agree with Taryl - No Thanks works really well - no added explanation needed. That keeps us from getting all preachy about our healthy ways - LOL. I can tend to do that. Once in a while, I'll say more. If someone has really gotten on my nerves about it. I was at a party where there were several people I hadn't seen since I lost weight. Two sisters of my friend were asking me what I did to lose, so I told them I cut back on junk, ate lots of veggies and salads, etc., and joined a gym. One told me I really should go with lo fat salad dressing if I ate a salad every night - the calories add up. (I had just commented that I don't like most "diet" salad dressings.) The other proceeded to tell me what type of exercise I should do. Both these girls could lose 75+ pounds. They ate an entire container of chip dip and chips while we talked. I just said, "You guys can stick to your plan and see how it goes. I'm going to keep doing what I've been doing since it seems to work for me." A bit snarky, but sometimes you have to let them know.
That said, no one has made fun of how I eat. I've been asked if I'm going to "eat like this" forever. Or when I'm going to go back to eating the way I used to (to me, that is the stupidest thing to ask!) People seem surprised to learn that how I eat now is "normal." Portions are small, food is nutritious, and there's very little room for junk. Duh. We wouldn't be in this situation if "supersize everything" was normal.
Good luck. Don't cave in to them. Hold your ground. The answers will be obvious soon enough.
It's relatively easy for me, since I'm obese. The first few times I lost weight I didn't want anyone to know I was doing it (I was embarrassed and didn't want to face what they'd say) but now I just usually do something like pat my belly and say (lightly) something like- "working on my health." Most people, I've found, respect the candidness and self-confidence to assert your own needs.
I say very little to others about it, other than a "no thanks" or to closer friends, a "I'm trying to eat healthier." If they are respectful and ask for more info, I'm happy to to talk but otherwise, I don't offer more information. I've had a good friend roll her eyes when I've mentioned my weight loss and healthy eating efforts, and it really hurt me. With her, I'm very careful with the subject. Particularly after a couple negative reactions with her, I make sure to tell myself that I'm doing what's best for me and that I'm doing a great job. My weight loss isn't about her. I also journal (paper journal) about reactions of folks as well as my own feelings on my weight loss journey-- that's really helped me focus on ME not on others. Support is important, to give and to get, but if some folks can't manage it, well, it says more about them than it does about me. I just keep up the good work getting healthy.
And kelly315 has a good point, most people respect a simple and clear health goal if they can see you need to lose weight. I think it'd be trickier if it wasn't clear, gosh, I see someone super skinny talking about losing weight and sometimes feel like screaming. But I don't
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mostly i just say no thanks, it isn't on my diet plan
for the most part people are good about dropping the subject when they hear that. Especially if they were one of the people who thought i really should do something about my weight.
I have one friend who is very overweight but she won't talk about weightloss, diet, exercise, or anything related. when the subject comes up (about me, not her) she rolls her eyes and changes the subject. When I lost almost 70 lbs in 2007 she even stopped talking to me for a while. I think this has much more to do with her and her feelings about her own weight than anything to do with me. I try to be respectful of her feelings and not bring it up constantly. I know repetative chatter about diet and exercise and a running commentary of the WW points equivalent of every bite that goes into my mouth is like fingers on a chalkboard to her. Last Saturday our scrapbooking group got together and this friend wanted to do a potluck instead of sack lunches. I knew I could potentially get off track so I brought my own sack lunch anyway. I did catch a few eye rolls from this particular friend but for the most part the group understood and really didn't seem to care much that I wasn't indulging. I stayed on plan and I felt so much better about doing my own thing. I wasn't even tempted by all no-no potluck dishes.
you have to do what is right for you. decline politely, but don't feel pressured into eating what you know you shouldn't.
Just like other posters, I am polite until they've reached the point of pushy. Luckily I don't have too much experience with food pushers. I do try to stay strong while eating out. I try to take pride in my selection so i'll be less inclined to feel defeated or bad if they say something.
Last edited by dancinginpaint; 07-15-2012 at 08:22 PM.
Reason: auto correct.
I haven't had too much experience with food pushers. I can assume that it's usually because if it's there, I eat it whether on plan or not! I eat it to not hurt feelings. I eat it because I want it. I eat it because I'm hungry, or because it's there. Whatever the reason.... I eat it.
There have been a couple of times, though, that I've declined ("no thanks") or I've even just been sneaky.
This friend from work kept bringing me juice that he made in his juicer, usually grape juice, and I'd drink it because it was good and because he made it. I didn't want to hurt his feelings. He'd also bring me chocolate, and other tasty treats. My compliments only got me more, so I started pouring the juice down the sink when he wasn't around, and throwing away the other stuff. He'd bring me more, about weekly, so I'd tell him I'm trying to lose weight. When that didn't work, I finally I told him that I didn't calculate the item in to my daily calories, and I'd drink it tomorrow. Or I'd just decline it and say it was really nice of him but I already calculated my calories for the day and it won't fit. He got the message and the treats stopped. I felt like in this case it was necessary to bring to bring up diet and calories. I realize in other cases, such an explanation might backfire.
Then more recently was this work occasion where I let people see me take a bite of cake, complimented the coworker who made it from scratch, but then slipped it off of my plate with a napkin and put it in my purse (yes, in my purse) until I could throw it away. That way, everyone would see an empty plate and think I ate it.
It's not the first time I've filled my plate and I've discreetly disposed of what's on it in some way so people think I ate something or ate more than I did. Among those who pay attention. It's just easier.
I've gotten myself in to more trouble by just commenting on food myself. Not even in response to food pushing. Like when they have some particularly yummy dessert in the cafeteria, and I say "oh that looks so good" and then comment on the reasons why I can't have it. Most people don't want to hear it, and listening to people go on and on about calories, diets and losing weight can get really old really fast anyways. I didn't even realize what I was doing until I decided to stop talking about my diet. Now I just don't say anything at all, and it's much better that way. They pay less attention to what I'm doing, and I don't feel obligated to eat something just because they are.
Sometimes I just ignore or say "No thanks" if it comes up.
Other times I tell a small white lie like "Yeah... doc wants me to watch cholesterol." Because which doc DOESN'T?
If I feel the need to explain to a mega food pusher or the person is curious I'll go with "prediabetes" -- because that is what insulin resistance is and I really don't feel like going all into the PCOS/IR/Syndrome X / hypothyroid thing. But most people have at least heard of the word "diabetes" so they back off and leave me alone.
What do you think / say when people try to get you to eat like them
mostly i just say no thanks, it isn't on my diet plan
