Over the years the comments have come and gone, but anymore a simple "No thank you" works for me. If someone insists on being pushy or making snarky comments, I'll ask them straight out; "Why do you feel it's appropriate for you to make comments about my dietary choices? Have I ever made any comments about YOURS?"
Joss - brilliant! If that doesn't end the conversation completely, one is truly dealing with a Neanderthal who's incapable of manners or comprehension. There simply cannot be a reasonable answer to that question. Love it!
Since I moved out last year my parents think I'm starving and/or subsisting on cheap, low quality food, so whenever they go out with me or have me over they try to force their "quality" food down my gullet. I've mentioned before that my dad doesn't believe in fish or vegetables or most ethnic food (no indian, greek, thai, chinese, only japanese, no fish tho! only teriyaki meat and noodles! and continental foods) so my choices are often limited to meat, starches and cheeses. They were MORTIFIED when I had a hummus dip when I was out with them once, and flabbergasted when I wanted a chicken pita wrap from Opa! (415 calories, so good) at a food court instead of burgers or japanese noodle bowls.
"Why do you eat such weird stuff now? Bean paste? That can't be tasty, you don't have to get cheap food, we're paying for it"
They also think I'm insane for gashing my food budget by $20 to buy a good food box (a box filled with 3 varieties of fruit, 7 varieties of veg and a grain) from my university once every 2 weeks.
"$20 can buy you a package of 6 chicken breasts! That's 3 nights of chicken!" (My dad thinks that 2 chicken breasts for supper is conservative)
Saying anything back just aggravates them and makes them talk louder and faster at me. So I let them say their piece and still make my food choices. In the end of the day, only I can decide what to put in my mouth. So what other people say makes little difference to me.
I am pretty open about being on Weight Watchers so if someone is offering food that I don't want to eat, I just laugh and say "I'd love to but I think that would cost me about a thousand points on Weight Watchers!" Most people are really respectful of my food choices. Recently three of my friends have joined WW because they see how it well is working for me.
My boyfriend is one of these people, not that he pushes food on me, but his definition and my definition of "full" are two different things. I still eat whatever I want; I just eat less and since I've lost weight, it takes less for me to get full. Sometimes it's hard for him to understand that, but I think after awhile he'll get used to it. You just have to ignore the remarks sometimes.
In my culture, pushing food on people is pretty mandatory. If you don't push food on people it is viewed as being rude. It is equally as rude to not accept the food that is being offered. I've combated this by sitting down with each member of my family and friends and telling them exactly what I am doing and that when I say that I do not want it, please do not force it on me. They've been pretty good about it and have even tried adopting healthier eating as a result. Still though, it can be hard with the people who just don't give up! In that case I say "no, thank you" and walk away from the situation. In the end, they are not the ones who will have to deal with the number on the scale in the morning.
What an awesome subject. I read every reply! I think food pushers do so because a good bit of them are control freaks-THEY have to be in control and that means control of YOU! I agree with you all, it's their personality flaws and good for you all to stand up to them. I had a lady who was in TOPS with me and she is a very pushy, authoritative person, she kept nagging me about getting to skinny, and you must be at goal because you cannot possible want to lose more weight, etc. Well in the first place it was none of her business what my goal weight was or how much I wanted to lose and I was BY NO MEANS TOO SKINNY! So I would just tell her I was at goal to shut her up. I also think food pushers are jealous that you are doing well and they may not be, they may not even realize how resentful they are of you, but deep down they resent you. So great job ladies of standing up for yourselves!!!
What do you tell yourself, or tell other people, when they make fun of your new eating habits or try to get you to eat what they're eating?
I get really attidue-y. Cant help it but its rude of them to be so nosey lol. If someone says like "oh come on" when I don't want to eat something terrible for myself I simply just say "I want to be fit. Sorry." Usually shuts my friends up lol
Last edited by luckystreak; 07-16-2012 at 03:45 PM.
I've been thinking about this thread for 2 days now. I realize the only people who push food at me are people who could stand to lose weight themselves! My heritage is Italian - stereotypically big food pushers. But not in my family. It's just my friends who are heavy. I think this tells a tale in itself.
And I agree with Joss - Turning the statement back on them usually quiets them right down. I had to do this last summer. Three friends (sisters) came to me and made a point of telling me I had to stop losing because I looked gaunt, that I looked older, that I didn't look healthy. They could lose a combined total of 350 pounds and no one would be too thin, if you get my drift. The next day, I approached the most reasonable of the 3 and had a heart to heart and told her how much they hurt my feelings. I asked if they thought I was losing / eating in an unhealthy manner. I was told they were simply concerned about how I looked. I then said, "Well, let's keep those opinions to ourselves, because the next person who shares their opinion of how I look is going to get my opinion of how they look right back. As long as no one feels I'm being reckless, it's my business how much weight I lose." They sure didn't want me preaching my new-found gospel of healthy eating to them, so I never heard another word.
We have to take it all in stride, I think. We are so much more aware of what we are doing (eating) and I think that makes us THINK others are aware, too. For the most part, no one really cares. We just think they do. I try not to sneak food off my plate. I think leaving it for others to see makes a HUGE statement that you meant what you said when you said "no thanks." I also never stretch the truth and give a medical reason - next thing you know the rumor mill will have you dying from out of control diabetes and heart disease! If "No thanks - not now" isn't a good enough reason, nothing is good enough. I just drop it there. It gets easier.
I've been thinking about this thread for 2 days now. I realize the only people who push food at me are people who could stand to lose weight themselves! My heritage is Italian - stereotypically big food pushers. But not in my family. It's just my friends who are heavy. I think this tells a tale in itself.
And I agree with Joss - Turning the statement back on them usually quiets them right down. I had to do this last summer. Three friends (sisters) came to me and made a point of telling me I had to stop losing because I looked gaunt, that I looked older, that I didn't look healthy. They could lose a combined total of 350 pounds and no one would be too thin, if you get my drift. The next day, I approached the most reasonable of the 3 and had a heart to heart and told her how much they hurt my feelings. I asked if they thought I was losing / eating in an unhealthy manner. I was told they were simply concerned about how I looked. I then said, "Well, let's keep those opinions to ourselves, because the next person who shares their opinion of how I look is going to get my opinion of how they look right back. As long as no one feels I'm being reckless, it's my business how much weight I lose." They sure didn't want me preaching my new-found gospel of healthy eating to them, so I never heard another word.
We have to take it all in stride, I think. We are so much more aware of what we are doing (eating) and I think that makes us THINK others are aware, too. For the most part, no one really cares. We just think they do. I try not to sneak food off my plate. I think leaving it for others to see makes a HUGE statement that you meant what you said when you said "no thanks." I also never stretch the truth and give a medical reason - next thing you know the rumor mill will have you dying from out of control diabetes and heart disease! If "No thanks - not now" isn't a good enough reason, nothing is good enough. I just drop it there. It gets easier.
Lin
I feel like it usually is people who could stand to lose a few themselves who critique because theyre the ones who feel the most insecure!
For me as some others have said, it depends on who it is.
Also, I have had more trouble in recent years from people who are dogmatic advocates of one or another type of food preference or way of eating even if their way of eating is healthy than I have with people who don't say they are on a diet of any kind for health or whatever and who eat in a relaxed fashion.
My husband is the opposite of pushy, but he's very polite. He used to offer me food anytime he prepared some for himself, because not doing so would be (to him) rude, which would make him feel bad about himself. So one day I brought up the subject and asked him if he could consciously go against his ingrained politeness instincts and make it a policy to never offer me food and, when we sit down as a family, never worry about whether there will be enough for me. With very few exceptions he's adhered to the policy. It's one less source of temptation for me and has really freed me up in my weight maintenance efforts.
I have been very noisy about the fact that I'm on WW and since I've lost a little over 50 pounds, it's become quite obvious. I'm lucky in that the people in my life are supportive of my weight loss efforts. In fact, my husband, my best friend, one of my former co-workers and my sister are all losing weight too. However, I have occasionally had to deal with a food pusher at work or in my neighborhood. If it's a neighbor, I graciously accept what is offered and take it into the house. Usually, it's something that I can taste and work into my plan. I'll tell them how much I enjoyed the dish later on. If it's at work and it's really something I can't have or I don't want, I say "No thank you." If the person continues to push I say, "I appreciate your intent but I'm working hard on improving my health and I really can't eat that right now." So far, that's worked. I hope no one pushes further because I do have a temper and a snarky mouth to match.
Whenever I'm eating with my brother, if I don't clear my plate, or decline second helpings, he calls me a lightweight. I keep telling him, that's the point!
