Help! I feel like a constant failure, up 40 pounds again, for the 100th time, it seems. I eat and eat, my stomach hurts, I still eat. I have tried everything, confessing to people, asking advice, exercising, writing.
Why can't I stop this monster of an appetite? I hate the thought of my class reunion next year, I will be labeled "Class Blimp".
The depression of my favorite jeans ripping out today was the last straw! Or so I thought, I just stuffed down more food to block the distress and disgust of eating out of all my clothes, the embarrassment and shame. I feel so fat and worthless - it is hard to face life at all. Sorry so depressing, just had to let anyone who reads this know, if you are a compulsive eater, I am in the same boat as you.
Now, to find something to wear that won't rip out!!!
Jillzibean... my heart goes out to you. I have been there so many times. I am in recovery again now and have been since late January. I don't know what to say. No one knew what to say to me either when I just continually kept going off program.
All I can say is what I did.
I kept coming here and reading , reading , reading.
I got out of the sugar and white flour COMPLETELY !!!!
I forced myself to drink more water... LOTS MORE !!!
Sometimes we have to hit a all time low so we accept the fact that we are foodaholics and need to put the plug in the jug ... sort of speaking.
I believe this compulsive eating illness is as much in our head as in our bodies. I also found it to be in my soul too.
I had to start feeding all of me..... the physcial, the emotional, the mental, and the spiritual sides of my being.
I fed my body lots of veggies and moderate proteins.
I fed my emotions with the "attitude of gratetude"
I fed my soul with "positive affirmations."
You develop self worth by doing. Taking action.
Get out a note book and write out a sane, rational , healthy food plan.
Then write out a gratitude list. One thing to be grateful for ... for each letter of the alphabet. A = All the unconditional love offered here in 3FC. B= Being able to start over AGAIN. ETC ETC
Next... Write out some "positive affirmations"
You don't have to believe in them... yet.
Just write some... such as....
"I claim my gift of life" .... "I am not in this alone" ... "With God all things are possible"
I have a little card and it says....
I weigh (enter your goal weight).
I eat healthy and moderately.
I do daily exercise to maintain my weight.
I feed my mind heathy thoughts as well as my body healthy food.
I am willing to do whatever it takes... as long as it takes.
Hang in there !!!! There is a saying I love.
"IF you find yourself going through ****... KEEP ON GOING !!!" LOL
In short... don't stay where you are.... take the positive actions necessary until you get where you want to go.
Start with baby steps... and be GRATEFUL for them.
ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE !!!
In this journey of weight loss... ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING !!
Thank you 2cute2Bfat , it is so kind of you to offer advice. I think I will start to write my gratitude list today, it is easy to get totally negative. There are so many good things I ignore. I am grateful for people like you who understand and care. I am grateful that I am not alone, this is a very common problem (overeating) . If I would listen to my heart, I might stop being so cruel to myself.
Hey you are off to another great start by coming here and posting as you did! I am sure MANY of us can relate more than we wish we could! A couple months ago I was right where you are... discouraged and thinking whew here I am again... only I had 126 pounds to lose again!
I am fortunate that I have very supportive friends... and in my (Christian) Home Group many of us are trying to be "on the wagon" and get in shape. When we mess up all we can do is pick up and try again! One thing that helped me too... a close friend got me to promise her that if I messed up again (month promise at a time) I would attend a weight loss program which she loves and I think is awful! So I WON'T mess up if I know the consequences... but I AM serious about wanting to get in shape.
Hey there will be a new thread starting VERY soon I am sure about an April Exercise Challenge... we are just finishing up March. I'd like to invite you to come over and join us... we all set our own goals of how many minutes we will do and then post along as we count down our goals. It's fun and there is accountability and the challenge of trying to make our goals!
Hang in there... this forum is a real encouragement and source of support. Please come back often!
First major goal met 12/7/12. Next major goal ONEderland!
Thank You!! I need the excitement of a challenge, what section is the April Challenge going to be under? I feel my spirits lifting. It is so comforting to know I am not a bad person, a lot of people love food as much as I do!! You are great people!!
You are singing my song, sister! I get depressed that I am fat so I "treat" myself to a big ole box of chocolate- "for the last time." If I got a $ for every last time I'd be a millionaire by now! I am avoiding dieting right now- it panics me and then I eat. I joined Weight Watchers 2 summers ago and promptly gained 10 lbs- and then 30, so the program thing doesn't work for me. I have found that just getting out of the house and doing any kind of exercise- walking if I can't run- makes me feel soooo much better. The studies are right about ten minutes of walking changing attitude.
I finally realized that I have a habit of eating when I am stressed, and everything stresses me out. So now I try to take a deep breath- in for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds and out for 8 seconds. If that doesn't work, then I try to eat something healthy before I eat junk. And if that doesn't work I try to remind myself that I am human and that I am allowed to be imperfect and to make mistakes and that practise makes perfect. i have found that i lose weight when my focus is on managing my stress, not on losing weight. That's just a suggestion and I'll let you know how I do, but we don't eat because we're stupid and we don't know what's good for us or because we don't have willpower. It's a coping technique and i have found that i have to work on the cause, not the symptom...I'm sorry to have rambled on but I feel your pain- at least we are not alone, which makes this binge eating thing almost normal- no more dirty secrets!
Good luck- I read a quote on 3fatchicks which said "fall down 7 times- stand up 8"
So just keep standing up and eventually you'll find your feet and stay up!
I really can relate to what you are saying, it a day like that, that made me realize I HAD to change the way I chose to live each & every day, its been a week now, and going strong Dont give up hope, I know it is HARD to stop eating so much, I am the type of person that would go through Wendys drive through, then go to McDonalds, etc.. my appetite has always been HUGE, and I could eat & eat till I hurt, I also eat out of depression, anger, happiness, and the list goes on....
Good luck to you, you will find LOADS of support here
I just can't explain it to myself, how can I put out so much effort to loose some weight just to turn around and attack myself like my worse enemy. It just does not make sense. How can I feel so happy when I have lost some weight and turn around and drive by doughnut shop or burger king like as if no one has to know and it will not hurt me.
I can totally understand...lately ive been doing the craziest things to keep me away from going to fast food places...the best thing that worked for me was posting a sticknote on the console of my car with a few facts about the fast food calorie and fat contents...works for me
Love yourself, and then we can really start loving each other...Diva
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