How this time is different
Umpteen million years ago - OK about 14 years ago, I switched jobs. It was just when I was losing a lot of weight.
At first, it didn't impact me too much as I was getting acclimated and at the beginning, the hours were pretty stable. Well, very soon, as I was working at a university in Student Activities, I would have events on Fridays and Saturdays until 1 am and not get home until 2 am. Explain, "mommy needs more sleep" to an 18 month old. Or a spouse in a rigorous PhD program! I was DRAGGING and, my diet and exercise started to fall apart. I was too exhausted to get up early or stay up late to fit in exercise - I had to do it when the toddler was asleep or else he tried to 'help' or do it along with me by clinging to me.
I got such terrrrrible cravings and couldn't force myself to 'be good'. I ballooned up in size incredibly fast and I felt so completely out of control when I was so on plan - in a healthy way - eating right and exercising regularly for over 5-6 months. Eventually, I just gave up as I felt I couldn't regain control and vowed I would NEVER diet again.
And I didn't diet for 13 years until my health took a nose dive and scared the crap out of me.
I've been successful, very successful, but these past few weeks have been hard.
First, I had an injury - that healed and I was getting back into the swing of things again and then I got a new part time job of 20 hours a week on top of the 10 hour part-time job I already had. I still have the house to take care of, the kids to take care of (a teen with terrible ADHD and who needs a LOT of organizational support for school and a 7 year old highly functioning Asperger's kid). OH, and I volunteer at my son's school for an hour every day.
My world CHANGED a lot... WIth teh end of the year craziness, I was getting poor sleep. I was/am having a hard time fitting in exercise. I found myself reaching for the cookies and the quick breads when I had been able to avoid them all this time. While yes, I was succumbing to temptation. THIS time was and is different. This time I KNOW what is causing the problem and I know how to fix it. I need sleep and I have to make it a priority.
I think I deal with sleep deprivation so poorly as I add that lack of energy to a body already struggling with low energy - my thyroid is still underactive and I'm slightly anemic. Food has been helping me get through the days - the the side effect is weight gain.
I've gained about 3 pounds this month. I'm not happy about it and it undid all the work I did last month (as weight loss now is REALLY slow), but... I have made it a priority to get more sleep and already, in two days, I feel it switching around.
My biggest fear when starting this time was to get to that 'out of control' feeling as I didn't understand how it happened last time. Well, I've figured it out and I do have control of it (to a degree). I can't control that I had a uber, duber busy few weeks. Life happens, but I can take control by doing what I need to do - make sleep a priority - make MY needs a priority by not staying up to watch a movie with my husband or play games with my teen at the wee hours of the night (both DH and son are night owls).
It's different this time and I believe I'll have lasting success because I get it now - I know my triggers. And knowing that makes all the difference. I don't have that seed in the back of my head like last time, "OMG, I'm out of control." I have control.... I just need to make it happen by doing what needs to be done to make it happen and for me (maybe not for everyone) that means getting SLEEP.
So... that's also why I haven't been here much - just way, way, way too busy. A slight gain in that time, but I'm back at it.
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