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Mom's Making Me Nervous....

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Old 05-07-2012, 02:38 PM   #1
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Default Mom's Making Me Nervous....

I love my mother. She is and has always been great (along with my Dad). We live about 18 hours from each other so we only see each other 2-3 times a year. I remember when I started on my weight loss journey a year ago, my mother looked at me and said in the sweetest voice ever...."you'll get there baby." I held on to that during the times I wanted to head for the Pizza (not a slice, half the pie). She has been positive, encouraging, supportive and cried over my Easter pictures.

Anyhoo, I am leaving to see her in 13 days (YEAH!!!!!!). However, she's told everyone at church that I've lost all of this weight and how fabulous I look. I have gone from a 24W to a regular 12-14 since the last time they've seen me. However, I am not "small" by any means. I still have bumps and rolls, etc. I am just so scared that I'll get to church and disappoint everyone because my Mom makes it sound like I'm a size 2. She's always done this. Because she's my Mom, she magnifies my every accomplishment by like 2 million. AND I'M NOT YOUNG.... I have 3 children and am approaching 40.

I'm just so nervous that I'll disappoint everyone because of my mother's "generous" advertising. I grew up with these people, my dad is an elder at the church. They know me and have watched me grow from grade school to grad school to motherhood. I keep having this thought that everyone will look at me and start thinking "Is that it?" They have always been loving and kind- even when I was close to 300 pounds. However, I am still nervous....Just needed to vent.

Welcome to my crazy life.....http://theythatweight.blogspot.com/

A City Girl's Guide to Faith, Weight and Sanity

Last edited by free1 : 05-07-2012 at 02:40 PM.
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Old 05-07-2012, 02:48 PM   #2
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My sister told everyone I lost a "ton of weight" when I first lost. It was a lot of pressure.
Its great that your mother is supportive, maybe you can tell her that its something that you want to keep "between you two." She might not understand, esp because she is doing it to be supportive, but maybe try and let her know that weight loss is something that you want to share/discuss with her, but not necessarily with other people.

I listened to my gut and it said "You could do with less of me."
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Old 05-07-2012, 02:49 PM   #3
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Wow my mom's the total opposite, she would tell my family members that I see once a year that I gained a lot of weight, that way when they see me they're not as shocked by the weight gain (though last year I lost weight from when I saw them last). But my mom has issues with her perception of what fat is (she's 125lbs and feels fat. She put me on a diet as a kid even though I wasn't fat, but for fear of becoming fat..which later I did become).

You lost a bunch of weight, and it shows. Don't worry, everyone will say you look great because you do! They will see a big difference between what you looked like and now. Don't be nervous and just have fun You're beautiful! Own it
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Old 05-07-2012, 02:53 PM   #4
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I am sure that you look fantastic and people will be thrilled for you.

I'm glad your mom is so supportive! Mine is too! I'm seeing mine on Saturday for the first time since Xmas 2009! I know she's going to tell me I look great (even though I be in sweats having flown the red eye after working all day Friday), but I'm so looking forward to that!
1st mini goal - 5% - 266lbs
2nd mini goal - 10% - 253lbs
3rd mini goal - 50lbs lost - 235lbs
4th mini goal - One-derland! 199

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Old 05-07-2012, 02:53 PM   #5
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I would think that the people in your church will be so shocked and happy for the weight you have lost that they won't be thinking about the fact that you aren't a size 2. It won't matter that you're not super small in pants size, you're small compared to the size you used to be and that's what people will focus on. I wouldn't worry about it. if they know your mom well they probably know she exaggerates and I doubt anyone has any expectations you won't live up to already

First Mini Goal 208 (weight before gaining) - 2/11/2012 Second Mini Goal 202 (lowest recorded weight) - 4/18/2012
Third Mini Goal ONEDERLAND - 6/4/2012 Fourth mini goal 180 - TBA Overall Goal 160 - TBA
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Old 05-07-2012, 02:56 PM   #6
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I agree with pixelllate! Also you've lost loads of weight, so enjoy it and well done.
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Old 05-07-2012, 03:44 PM   #7
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Okay, so you have 3 kids - imagine that one of them had the same weight struggles as you, and started the journey to get healthy...like you...and lost the same weight as you...would you be let down? Of course not! You'd be ecstatic that your child was taking the steps need to get healthy!

That's the great thing about great moms - they are equally as happy when our success is small as they are when our success is huge.

You are doing wonderfully and you should BASK in how far you've come. ENJOY it and do not feel, for one second, that you're not "doing enough."

And BTW...40 is not old!
The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender.
~ Vincent T. Lombardi ~
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Old 05-07-2012, 03:46 PM   #8
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Most people in my experience don't really have that attitude. They're usually generally impressed that you lost the weight. If there are folks that somehow think that, screw them, they're not supportive of you anyway.
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Old 05-07-2012, 03:56 PM   #9
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I really believe you're going to be welcomed very warmly and people will be happy for your success. You have lost a major amount of weight and should stay positive and happy with your accomplishment to date. That being said, there's nothing like a pair of SPANKS to make you feel extra confident!!!!! They just smooth everything out and take care of those lumps or bumps I know so well.
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Old 05-07-2012, 05:21 PM   #10
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I think we are far more critical of ourselves (especially as we get to see ourselves naked!). But once clothed, I bet a lot of your 'lumps and bumps' are invisible to the casual eye. I think all those people are going to be CHEERING for you and the fantastic success you've had!! You probably don't remember exactly how big you were, but that's all they remember. So they're going to be very pleasantly surprised!! Enjoy!


For every 5 pounds lost:
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Old 05-07-2012, 05:52 PM   #11
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I'm sure you look fantastic - and you've done SO well! Enjoy visiting with your friends and family and accept your success with a smile!

One for each 5lb lost: [recommit]
Don't complain about the results you didn't get from the hard work you didn't do.
[Recommit 05/01/12 - *A year from now you'll be glad you started today* ]

Mini goals:
199 (Onederland!): [ ] | 197.5 (Out of Class II Obesity): [ ] | 188 (-50lbs): [ ] | 177 (Same weight range as DH): [ ] | 169 (No longer obese!!): [ ] | 158 (-80lbs): [ ]
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Old 05-07-2012, 05:52 PM   #12
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My mom pretends like she doesn't notice whether I get bigger or smaller. Once my entire extended family was raving about how I look like I'd lost a lot of weight, and my mom asked me later "everyone says you've lost weight, is it true?" you would think, as my mother, she would notice before anyone else. But at least she's not like some of these mothers, and constantly pointing out any weight gain she notices.
I think we always have trouble seeing our own progress, and the differences we do see, we don't think are big enough for other people to notice. But 24-12 is NOTICEABLE! And you have done an amazing job. Enjoy the compliments you will definitely get, and stay on plan while you're there!
A for every 5lbs gone FOREVER!!!

Goal One: 245- goal of my first challenge on 3FC. Goal Two: 225 Goal Three- 199 Onederland. Goal Four: 179- previous low weight. GOAL: 152 (NORMAL BMI)

And all the spilt milk, sex and weight
It all will fall, fall right into place

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Old 05-07-2012, 08:33 PM   #13
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Please stop worrying! You are going to knock them over! Period. That's all there is to it! While it IS all relative, a size 12 is nothing to be ashamed of. I'm a 12 (once in a while I get lucky and a 10 fits) and people always think I wear smaller. No one ever believes how much I weigh, either. Go and visit and enjoy every minute of it. You're going to be smiling the whole time because these are people who love you and are happy for you and who don't have any "progress pictures" of you in their mind. To them, you went from size 24W to size 12 in one quick instant! Love it! I can't wait to hear what you have to say when you return.


Edited to say: You can ask your mom to keep things under her hat, but as a mom who is very proud of you, she'll probably find that impossible to do. I'm not even your mom and I'm proud of what you've done! I talk about the collective weight loss in here all the time. It's in our nature to praise the good things we see people around us do.

Life style change started on Jan 13, 2011. I was going to lose 100 pounds by Christmas.
I lost 93 pounds by Oct 1, 2011 and am holding there for now. We'll see what happens.
New goal: To maintain at about 160 Final Goal: To decide if I need to lose more
Just Keep On Keepin' On

Last edited by linJber : 05-07-2012 at 08:36 PM.
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Old 05-07-2012, 08:51 PM   #14
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I'm a size 12 too and everyone thinks I'm "small." As everyone has said, you have nothing to worry about! There is no way these people will be disappointed. Congrats to you for doing so well and for having such a sweet, supportive mom.
I want to free myself from the burden of inaction. I want to raise myself to any plane I can imagine. ---Crowded House

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Old 05-07-2012, 09:21 PM   #15
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You went from a size 24 to a size 12!!! That's amazing and your mom was right to brag on you! I'm sure everyone will be happy for you and think you look awesome.

Link to before and after pics
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