Sometimes being motivated sucks! (Okay, not really)

  • So my coworkers are all going out for lunch to a very yummy restaurant that I love. I know I could go and get a salad or something, but I know myself well enough to know that if I go there, there is no way I'll be able to stop myself from having something delicious and very bad for me. The food would be so amazing...but not worth the remorse I know I will feel after. So I declined the invite...which means I now have to eat lunch all alone.
    Anyone else have things like this happen?
  • We base so much of our social interaction around food. It's inevitable that you are going to lose some opportunities for socializing if you can't trust yourself around temptation - which is perfectly valid. It won't always have to be this way though, you will get stronger as you go forward!

    Is there something you can do during your lunch break that you really enjoy? Something you don't usually have time for? Might help it feel less like punishment in eating alone. I'd relish the time to get to read my book!
  • Thanks I'm actually quite proud of myself for a) having the willpower to say no and b) knowing my limitations (knowing that I could never go there and get a salad). It sure does suck to have lunch alone though.
    There's not much to do around here, so I'll probably just sit at my desk and eat...but I'll survive, I'm sure.
  • I have this issue with my friends. They (3 women) only want deep fried or extremely sugary foods, and I won't eat that. Our meetings involving food are usually this way: they eat whatever they want at wherever they want, and afterwards we may go to a place where I'll grab something I can eat, which doesn't always happen; they don't care about finding a place I'm comfortable with and are always trying to convince me to go back to that sort of eating pattern.

    However, I don't think that the problem is me being motivated to go back to a normal weight. They are always saying they need to become motivated like me, need to get advices from me, but whenever I start the "eat healthy, portion control, and exercise" talk they say it's too difficult.
  • I have that problem a lot, but I've learned over time that I don't care what other people think... so I bring my healthy food with me to restraunts with my friends! I cook some pretty tasty meals, so I don't feel deprived too often, although admittedly sometimes it's difficult.
    Regardless, if I feel like going I just bring my little cooler with me and I eat whatever it was I had planned on eating. I don't feel left out of the social aspect, and I don't have to eat foods I hadn't planned on eating.
  • Quote: I have that problem a lot, but I've learned over time that I don't care what other people think... so I bring my healthy food with me to restraunts with my friends! I cook some pretty tasty meals, so I don't feel deprived too often, although admittedly sometimes it's difficult.
    Regardless, if I feel like going I just bring my little cooler with me and I eat whatever it was I had planned on eating. I don't feel left out of the social aspect, and I don't have to eat foods I hadn't planned on eating.
    Do they say anything at the restaurant for you bringing in outside food to eat?

    Sometimes if I don't want to eat alone, I'll go to the mall during my lunchtime instead and window shop. I find it therapeutic.
  • great job!

    I find that if I bring lunch (which is something I've done for years) I just don't see the point in going out to lunch. I have my lunch, why waste the money?

    My friends and coworkers quickly learned that if they wanted me to go out to lunch with them that they would have to tell me in advance so that I wouldn't pack lunch that day.
  • I survived! My coworkers returned all full and uncomfortable. I'm so glad I didn't cave and go.
    Sometimes I really wish there wasn't such a social aspect to food.
    Jossfit - I didn't think it was an option to bring outside food into a restaurant. A friend of mine once brought her almost finished can of Coke insde a restaurant once and the staff told her she couldn't bring it in, so I would just assume food wouldn't be allowed as well. Is it certain restaurants you can do this at? Has anyone ever said anything to you about it? Just curious, because it sure would be nice to have that option!
  • I love the social aspect, but I get really upset and mad when I "have" to eat food I'm not excited about, like if XYZ friends all want to go to some crappy restaurant I don't like that has nothing healthy on the menu.

    Sounds like you don't regret your decision at all, PinkLotus!
  • I live in NYC and most of the young adults are really into going out to eat or eating super fattening foods at dinner parties. They stay slim to average weight because they don't have issues with portion sizes the way that I do and I just don't enjoy a group setting when eating, so it feels like a waste of cals anyways. Its tough, food is a social thing for many people and I do enjoy making and giving food away, but when it comes down to sitting and enjoying a meal, that is "me" time usually.
    If I go out to eat, I forewarn them that I won't get anything - in the past, I would get the healthiest appetizer, but I hated those crappy little salads LOL, so now I just save my dollars and get tea if anything. For dinner parties, I usually bring dessert and come after everyone ate their meal. That way people can enjoy what I bring and I can eat dinner before.
    The downside is that even if I don't comment on what people eat, some of them tease me or treat me like weirdo. And some sort of won't let go because they want to know all the details about my diet lol-like when I went to a sports game and the only options were either hot dogs or deep fried chicken so I just got water (apart from 3fc sometimes it gets old talking about it). I try to keep this down by not bringing it up myself and working on being less self-conscious.
    Also, I find that sometimes our long term DEEP emotional wants don't go along with our cravings/immediate wants. Like sometimes I just want to stay in bed. But I also want a salary so I go to work instead. Same with a cake - mmmm sugar, but the happiness I get from not eating it trumps the thrill I get from eating it!
  • Quote: I love the social aspect, but I get really upset and mad when I "have" to eat food I'm not excited about, like if XYZ friends all want to go to some crappy restaurant I don't like that has nothing healthy on the menu.

    Sounds like you don't regret your decision at all, PinkLotus!
    LOLL I can't tell you how many strange appetizers I get! And I used to pretend like I wanted to order it! Overpriced mini fruit plates, boring salads cause I removed all the fried stuff and fattening dressing. A bunch of money for some leaves I could have made for a dollar on my own! hahah