Hello Mandi - and welcome to the boards!
I'm sorry for your troubles, and I think you'll find that most of us here can relate!
Not sure if these are inspirational words for you... but you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. You've made incredibly positive changes in your life, and that's really difficult. Even if you were only eating better & exercising 10% of the time (and you're doing it like 70% of the time!!!) - that's still 10% more than you used to.
Even though I'm continually stalling my weight-loss efforts because of "bad weekends" (or weeks, hehe) - I'm still happy with myself overall because I keep on trying. I keep starting over - and I also think to myself, "Well, I could be losing more quickly... but at least I'm not gaining anymore!".
Seriously, don't beat yourself up. This weight-loss, healthy-living thing can be incredibly difficult to master - the key is to eventually end up succeeding more than you fail - and you have to keep trying to do that!