Here's a little revelation I had today while leaving the gym. My trainer asked me how my eating was going and I simply responded, "well, it's not perfect. But it could be worse." I didn't really think about my answer until afterwards, when it struck me as familiar... and I realized it was the same thing I pulled when I go to the dentist and they ask how often I floss. "Well, not every day, but it could be worse." And I sit there and hope they don't see through me because I KNOW how often I floss (used to be the seasons could change without me picking up a box of floss). And I'm doing it now with food, too.
I'm not losing weight, despite hard work at the gym. I'm not here to pitch a fit about it, either, because I know what the problem is - that "could be worse" eating. Well you know what the flip side of "it could be worse" is - IT COULD BE BETTER. It could be better.
Apparently I've settled for some kind of status-quo, eating habits that keep me where I am. As long as I'm not gaining, I guess. But This thinking led me to regain the 30lb I had lost. Well, I'm no longer in the 180s, but the 190s aren't so bad - could be worse! Ooops, there goes the 190s, I'm just over 200, but hey, could be worse! And so forth. Well dangit, that kind of thinking just doesn't cut it!
I am irritated at myself for hanging on to that excuse for so long and not really realizing it for what it is until now. It's insidious. I expect greater things of myself than status quo. Yet what I constantly tell the world and myself is "I'm ok where I am, here in the middle."
Has anyone else noticed thought patterns like this, that are subtle underminings of your work? Things that will get in your brain and convince you it's ok to relax and let your guard down?
From here on, my goal is no longer to tell myself "it could be worse," but to ask myself - "can it be better?"