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Old 04-29-2012, 09:35 PM   #1
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Default Feel so ashamed

I've gained 10 pounds over this winter and whenever I see friends, I can't even enjoy the company, all I can think is how ashamed of how fat I am. I know that's not what they're thinking but that's all I can feel. It makes me want to hide at home and eat alone.
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Old 04-29-2012, 10:07 PM   #2
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The thing is that this is the opposite of helpful. Feeling ashamed just makes me want to eat out of sadness, instead of work harder to lose weight.
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Old 04-29-2012, 10:09 PM   #3
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I can relate! I gained about 10 pounds this winter too which means that I have officially gained back all the weight that I lost a year and half ago. I am SO self conscious about it and feel completely embarrassed that I let it get to this point.
I'm back in the groove now and have lost about 7lbs but I am so mad at myself for letting the weight creep back on after all that hard work!
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Old 04-29-2012, 10:20 PM   #4
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:HUG: Are you sure this is solely about your weight? Stop and analyze if there's anything else making you feel down and deal with whatever that is. If it is about the winter weight gain, try not to feel ashamed. It's so negative and limiting. Okay you've gained 10 lbs but you can lose it. It's temporary.

Give yourself a goal of a day, just a day to stay on plan. There's very little that's more empowering and more positive than taking the first step to change something that's making you unhappy. After that day, then take on the next day, and then the next. Take it one day at a time.

If a day feels like it's too much, then give yourself a goal of your next meal or your next food encounter. Make a good decision, it will make you feel better. Make yourself go out. If you don't feel up to working out, go for a walk, see people, even if they're strangers. Don't hide out at home. Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself. Give yourself a manicure or a pedicure or a facial... something that makes you feel pretty.

I think naturally our emotions go through cycles that are normal but also consider that if you're feeling very down and feel unable to pick yourself up, it might be a good idea to talk to someone.
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Old 04-29-2012, 10:25 PM   #5
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No, it's not just about my weight. I've already made an appointment to see a doctor about depression. I just feel so ugly and not worthy of friendship, even thought logically I know that a person's value has nothing to do with how much they weigh. I just feel so gross inside and out, and by that I mean in my body and my brain. I hope things will get better after I talk to the doctor.
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Old 04-29-2012, 11:21 PM   #6
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Depression doesn't help with when you're trying to lose weight! To be so upset with 10 pounds, I don't blame you for considering depression and going to see your doctor.

I used to feel like you. Unworthy of friendship, unworthy, period, of anything. I felt dumpy and ugly and just really bad about myself. When I reached a point where thoughts turned to tears at the drop of a hat, I went out and got a nutritional supplement called 5HTP. It's a serotonin precursor and really did the trick for me. Later I learned that people who are actively dieting to lose weight find it to be very helpful with cravings. I guess for the emotional eater, it can really help.

I think regular exercise has also helped to keep those feel good hormones flowing. Since I've lost about half my weight, I feel so much more confident and better about myself.

BTW, I gained 10 pounds from about January to now. I'm stuck, and haven't been able to move below 170 to even get back to where my ticker is. We all do it. We all go there. Don't kick yourself over it. Just keep moving forward. It's only a bump in the road. You'll get there!
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Old 04-29-2012, 11:35 PM   #7
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Thanks. I try to remind myself that there are tons of people, like you guys, also struggling with their weight and they are not worthless people.

I tried 5htp but I found it made me really tired. An odd side effect I guess. I'm now trying Sam-e, another supplement. I'm basically desperate to try anything, even just for the placebo effect, until I can get to the doctor this Thursday.
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Old 04-30-2012, 06:09 PM   #8
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It is normal to gain weight, lose it, and often times re-gain weight back....it's frustrating, but no big deal only because you want to take steps to get the little bit of extra weight off....I think MOST people plump up a little during the winter--I know I do! Hang in there!!!
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Old 04-30-2012, 09:12 PM   #9
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Oh my gosh, that happens to me too. I feel just the same way sometimes, like my best friends in the world will notice that I've gained wait, or maybe even think I just let myself go now >.< I feel like those are the times I end up awkwardly inserting comments about whatever workout class I'm in. But when you think about it, you don't really notice when your friends gain weight (unless they're super skinny to begin with, and with those people honestly, not the worst problem in the world). They don't notice either.
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Old 04-30-2012, 09:27 PM   #10
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Good for you! I'm glad you are looking in to the depression thing.

That seems to be the bigger health issue than the 10 lbs right now. Your THOUGHTS and FEELINGS about the 10 lbs, and not the actual pounds.

don't feed the bad dog.

GL!
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Old 05-01-2012, 10:57 AM   #11
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Sorry you're feeling so shitty. I hope whatever you decide to do turns it around for you.
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Old 05-01-2012, 11:38 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by surfergirl2 View Post
No, it's not just about my weight. I've already made an appointment to see a doctor about depression. I just feel so ugly and not worthy of friendship, even thought logically I know that a person's value has nothing to do with how much they weigh. I just feel so gross inside and out, and by that I mean in my body and my brain. I hope things will get better after I talk to the doctor.
Oh

Been there. Struggled for years with it. I tried supplements, exercise, counselling (this helped a bit) but I finally bit the bullet and went on medication. I still wish I didn't need a pill to make me feel better, but that's life.

You're a stronger person than you think
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Old 05-01-2012, 11:44 AM   #13
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I'm so sad to hear you're struggling at the moment surfergirl2, and you're taking the right steps by talking to your doc.

I had the same problem about a year go now. My friends were all skinnier than me and it would really get me down. Anyway, they turned out to be complete and utter cows. So, I dumped them all!! EVERY LAST ONE!!

No-one deserves to feel unworthy of friendship, and NO-ONE should be, well, bullied for how they are. So, I kicked them all to the kerb. Best thing I've ever done!!

Surround yourself with positive things and positive people, who you love you for you and don't pick at you for how you look.

Look after your mental health, and the rest will follow. Trust me, it will happen.

Keep your chin up.
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Old 05-01-2012, 12:53 PM   #14
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Surfergirl - when I read your first two posts, I thought depression. Then I kept reading and saw you acknowledge it as well. Talk to your doctor about seasonal affective disorder. I have that, and it's amazing how bad the winters get, and how much weight I gain.

Try to get moving outside as much as possible. Walk, bike, run whatever. The sun can help lift your mood, and the exercise does wonders too!

Good luck!
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Old 05-01-2012, 01:36 PM   #15
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I just wanted to add that at 5'7 155 lbs isn't really fat..... I think like you have stated that you are depressed....
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