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Opening up, anyone else?

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Old 04-23-2012, 01:29 PM   #1
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Default Opening up, anyone else?

last night, i finally opened up to my husband about my food addiction. honestly, i have never let anyone i know find out how bad it really is. its easy to talk about it online, you will never meet me, so i will not be judged.

It was probably the hardest conversation we have ever had. he knew that i ate a lot, sure, but he doesnt see me the way everyone else does. i talked for over an hour, i cried my eyes out, and he was speechless.

he said 'why wouldnt you talk to me about this before? i dont want you to hurt like this and have no one to talk to.'

Last night at midnight he took me to the local park to 'play like kids'. we stayed out until 4am swinging and sliding and playing soccer etc. i dont think anything would have made me feel better then that did.

and he woke me up this morning with 2 poached eggs, some bell peppers (my fav!!) and home made salsa. he looked me in the eye, gave me a kiss, and told me that he would always be there to help me, and that he was proud of me.

i wish i had just talked to him before, he has taken it much better than i expected. i guess i was worried that he would look at me differently, or treat me differently. but he doesnt, he just knows me that much better now.

has everyone already talked to their partner about their food addictions/binging habits etc? it seems like something that we all downplay, or completely deny. i am curious if anyone else has had to have this conversation with their partner.
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Old 04-23-2012, 01:32 PM   #2
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I almost cried (in the good way) reading this, what a kind and supportive husband. He will surely be a key player in making your weight loss journey and recovery from addiction easier and more fun!

My last boyfriend and I both struggled with eating our feelings. My current one used to be obese and has struggled with and recovered from drug and food addiction. We don't speak about it much, but the understanding is there and we are both aware of each other's history.
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Old 04-23-2012, 01:36 PM   #3
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I have talked to my husband about a number of issues, and my lifetime of disordered eating and my concerns about my body and my weight. I have trouble hearing what he has to say, because he is always positive, loving and supportive. It's wonderful that you opened up to your husband and had a good experience. Be confident and build on that!
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Old 04-23-2012, 01:38 PM   #4
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Wow. Sounds like a great guy you have there

I have told my boyfriend about my problems with overeating and stuff, and although he listens...he still encourages me to eat whatever I want when it's the weekend...:S It's hard to tell him to stop doing that, because I like having someone telling me I can eat, you know?
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Old 04-23-2012, 01:39 PM   #5
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Your are so very lucky to have such an incredibly supportive husband!! The only conversation I've had with my fiance' about my issues with food is that I would like him to be supportive, i.e don't bring me chocolate "yum yums" or try and force food on me. It's a constant struggle, he's a big beer drinking, burger eating, sweet as pie, happy go lucky kind of guy and he loves me just the way I am. Of course I am happy that he loves *me* but he also does not see any issues eating badly. When I tell him I have to eat well and diet he brushes it off and says "No you don't, your fine the way you are!!" ::le sigh:: Gotta love him! Congrats on your weight loss, it's wonderful that are feeling better after speaking with your husband about your issues with food! You go girl!
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Old 04-23-2012, 01:42 PM   #6
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I feel SO much better now that it is all out on the table with jon. he has always been so wonderful to me, and although he doesnt understand what its like to be overweight, he understands addiction. i know he will be able to help me a lot more now that hes gonna stop showering me with chocolate and stuff, lol
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Old 04-23-2012, 02:46 PM   #7
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I recently did this with my husband. I sat him down and told him all about my secret eating, the multiple trips through the drive thru on the way home from work, the binge eating. I laid it all out on the table for him and he was surprised and so supportive.

It really was the only secret I was holding from him, so being open and honest about it really helped put me on the path to losing this weight with a clear head.

Congrats on talking to your husband. It was a hard conversation to have, but it sounds like it went really well.
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Old 04-23-2012, 05:01 PM   #8
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I don't have a food addiction, but I do have my own struggles with certain food items or overeating. Sharing this with my husband and having his emotional support, even though he is neither food police nor a direct assistance in the food prep around here, is SO helpful. He has always been my biggest cheerleader, because he loves me and wishes for my happiness and success. I've never felt judged by him, or even that if I regained everything tomorrow he'd think less of me.

He knows how hard this is and I'm glad to have his support!
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Old 04-23-2012, 05:24 PM   #9
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My boyfriend is really sweet about my weight. He's very encouraging and supportive. I initially met him online and it was probably about 6 months into knowing him that I told him my weight. I was scared to death, but the first thing he said was "what can I do to help you?" He's probably been the one thing that really helped me turn my life around and start being healthier. Before I met him, I was eating fast food for every meal, taking sleeping pills, then caffeine pills to stay awake for work. Then when I got laid off, I would go get a 32 ounce coke and a package of gummy bears for breakfast. Every single morning. I was at a really really low point and horribly depressed.

I've still got a ways to go, but I feel so much better than I did a year ago. It's always good to have some support, no matter who it is.
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Old 04-23-2012, 07:07 PM   #10
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My husband has a lot more weight to loose than I do, but he has been also onboard with my healthier habbits and less eating out. He's enjoying reaping the benefits of weight loss as well.
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Old 04-24-2012, 03:00 AM   #11
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Your husband sounds wonderful!!!!! Reading about this made my day.
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Old 04-24-2012, 04:31 AM   #12
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Wow, you are blessed by having such a wonderful husband! I agree with the other girls. Men kinda are blind. Our husbands (most) see us as the women they love, and they donīt see the fat we hate.

My husband is ignorant about my addiction and binging. We have spoken loads (like daily...haha) on my weight and such, but he doesnt know I am a closet eater. He is also a pusher and says I am perfect and always gives me more food than him (which makes me angry) He just says I need it!! haha, not!

I wish I had the courage to speak up to him about it. You ladies (besides my mom) are the only people who know the true me in regards to my eating habits. I wish I could change. I applauge all your ladies who are able to open up and be honest!
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Old 04-24-2012, 05:32 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by samcakes View Post
last night, i finally opened up to my husband about my food addiction. honestly, i have never let anyone i know find out how bad it really is. its easy to talk about it online, you will never meet me, so i will not be judged.

It was probably the hardest conversation we have ever had. he knew that i ate a lot, sure, but he doesnt see me the way everyone else does. i talked for over an hour, i cried my eyes out, and he was speechless.

he said 'why wouldnt you talk to me about this before? i dont want you to hurt like this and have no one to talk to.'

Last night at midnight he took me to the local park to 'play like kids'. we stayed out until 4am swinging and sliding and playing soccer etc. i dont think anything would have made me feel better then that did.

and he woke me up this morning with 2 poached eggs, some bell peppers (my fav!!) and home made salsa. he looked me in the eye, gave me a kiss, and told me that he would always be there to help me, and that he was proud of me.

i wish i had just talked to him before, he has taken it much better than i expected. i guess i was worried that he would look at me differently, or treat me differently. but he doesnt, he just knows me that much better now.

has everyone already talked to their partner about their food addictions/binging habits etc? it seems like something that we all downplay, or completely deny. i am curious if anyone else has had to have this conversation with their partner.
Honey, you have a husband of GOLD!!!!!!!! With someone like that supporting you, you're bound to overcome this!
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Old 04-24-2012, 06:29 AM   #14
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You married a wonderful man!

I sort of tried to explain it to my SO.. not sure he really got it. I tried to explain how if we had dessert in the house that I would literally be sitting there thinking about it. Completely consumed by it and wanted to hide somewhere and eat it all by myself.
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Old 04-24-2012, 09:01 AM   #15
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What a terrific guy! It will still be a challenging road, but I'm really happy for you that you have such great support. I think a big part of food problems is the secrecy with them (Whether its through shame/denial etc) so it's great you've been honest with him.

I've never really had any real kind of male role model in my life, and I've had mostly negative experiences with men, but posts like this definitely help to restore my faith in the male population.
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