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we should be encouraged, not insulted

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Old 04-22-2012, 05:05 PM   #1
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Default we should be encouraged, not insulted

I am kind of in a bad mood. My hubby and I went on a nice long walk at a popular park today. It was almost 90 degrees, and we went almost 3 miles. I was feeling proud of myself, and very upbeat, and then a car full of guys drives by slowly and starts yelling out fat jokes... really? When I see someone that is overweight being active I applaud them! This is why I like to go on night time walks, no one yells insults at you, because they cant see you.

Why is it that we get insulted for being 'lazy' or 'fat', but when we try to do something about it, we still get made fun of?

people are naturally cruel creatures.

Im not letting it get me down though, im getting ready to go for another walk now!! this day is too pretty to let a couple of goons ruin it for me

have a beautiful day everyone
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Old 04-22-2012, 05:10 PM   #2
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They do it because it makes them feel better about themselves when they are actually pathetic losers with no personality and no respect for others. Ugh, people like that make the rest of the human race look bad. Ignore the losers, karma will get them sooner or later. I applaud YOU for going out and getting exercise and for not letting those guys get to you! I would probably go home and cry and never leave my house again...but that's just me.
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Old 04-22-2012, 05:14 PM   #3
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nah, i wont let it get to me, that is how i ended up being 300+ pounds. learning to let this kind of thing slide of my back is going to be my biggest challenge. thats why im going out again today, just to say eff you!
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Old 04-22-2012, 05:37 PM   #4
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I Agree with slvr!! They probably have major issues that are alleviated by insulting others. I totally believe in karma. And you're right, I wish people would encourage rather than insult. The world would be a better place. Sorry they made you feel that way
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Old 04-22-2012, 05:40 PM   #5
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And good for you for going out for another walk that's awesome!!
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Old 04-22-2012, 05:43 PM   #6
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i vented, now im not bummed out about in in the least. when i reach goal, those are the guys that will be hitting on me, and i will be the hot chick telling them to go to h*ll
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Old 04-22-2012, 05:55 PM   #7
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OMG, my husband and I have had this conversation recently because we both agree that we applaud someone trying to lead a healthier life. (It might be because we are both in medicine, so we get warm and fuzzy seeing patients make positive changes!
The reason we had this conversation, if I can hijack your thread for a moment, is because several months ago his sister (who's a tool, and he knows it too) and hubby's brother (nice guy) and I were talking about running. She's always been thin until the past 5 years or so, now she's pretty heavy. I wanted her to go running with us (me and brother) and she said she is embarassed that someone will see her and make fun of her for being the fat girl running. Brother then says "what about that girl down the street who's really big, she's out almost everyday running, and I think good for her that she's making change". And the sister starts talking about how she doesn't think that, she laughs to herself whenever she's sees her because she's so fat and she look funny exercising.

But here's the thing. Aside from that story, my sister in law is a real piece o' crap. Een my husband sees it. She's generally an anger, miserable, rude, selfish, manipulative, demanding, spoiled, lazy waste of space. Have I made my point?
My brother in law that likes to see people out getting healthier, is a generous, kinder natured, dedicated, thoughtful, just all around good guy.
My husband (and the rest of his family) don't really know what's up with the sister. Maybe a personality disorder? Or maybe she's just a butt hole!

My point is, the people that do that aren't going home to spread joy in their life. They are duck-tards. (Trying not to get *** for all my words! lol) They are miserable. Maybe they were born that way, maybe no one loved them, maybe no one every took the time to slap them up side the head and say "you don't act that way you turd!" But either way, they will likely continue on their way draining the happiness out of most of the people around them until some one kicks their ars, or more likely they end up old and alone in a nursing home where no one comes to visit them and the staff can barely tolerate them.
I know a lot of people believe there's good in everyone. I don't. I think some people are just crap heads. So screw them!
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Old 04-22-2012, 06:10 PM   #8
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your sister in law sounds like a total butthole! i just get really surprised by the viciousness of some people. i was raised in a really hateful environment and even growing up i never understood it. i think the world is seriously lacking love nowadays. i can honestly say i havent ever really made fun of anyone, maybe when i was little a bit, but nothing that i can remember.

instead i like to give out random compliments, like 'wow your hair is so pretty' or even so random as 'you have the softest hands'

its better to see someones eyes light up then it is to see them tear up
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Old 04-22-2012, 06:15 PM   #9
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My sister is probably about 250 lbs. She's getting married this Sept and wanting to lose the weight for the wedding, but she's having the same struggles as you! Difference is she wont exercise outside because she fears getting the type of treatment you've sadly gotten. Point of my story is to feel empowered! You could easily sink into the horrible feelings situations like that must trigger, or you can continue being strong and motivated-because some in your situation don't have the courage or strength to be you!

I've always loved the quote that you can always lose weight but ugliness that lives inside you will forever weigh you down!
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Old 04-22-2012, 06:21 PM   #10
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Sad, pathetic little losers. When I wasn't overweight I had a car full of boys stop to shout at me that they hated my shoes and that I was a freak. There's always something.

Screw them! You're making a great change to your life and that's really wonderful.
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Old 04-22-2012, 06:30 PM   #11
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You and anyone else should absolutely be encouraged, not insulted! When I was first starting out with exercise I weighed in the 240 range during our summer, and had packed my little daughter in the stroller and the slightly older one in the backpack, and was walking them down to the park (they were maybe 6 months and 20 months old).

It was hot and nasty but I was determined to get a decent workout, so I was chugging along down the sidewalk, and a woman waiting to turn onto the main road rolled down her window and shouted "Good for you, taking those kids out to play! Way to go!". I could have been embarrassed she singled me out or taken it as some sort of slight on my parenting or weight, but I was proud of me, too! It was incredibly hot and packing two children up and down hills while carrying 120 extra pounds is no mean feat. So I smiled and said I was having fun and we both went on our way feeling good about each other.

It is those encounters that I think most normal, kind people would create in a given circumstance. I am fortunate that rude jerks (often young, idiotic guys) are the exception and not the rule. Most people are encouraging and sweet, or at least thinking these things if not saying them.

Good for you for getting out for a lovely walk and not being discouraged. That is the key!
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Old 04-22-2012, 06:37 PM   #12
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Ugh! Jerks!

The reason I hesitated running outside for YEARS was because of people like that. I never understand people who make fun of larger folks who are exercising. It's like, WTF are they supposed to do? Spontaneously turn thin?
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Old 04-22-2012, 06:55 PM   #13
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Sound like THEY have some issues, or are just really really bored and have no life other than picking on other people. Either way, I don't blame you for feeling hurt, insulted, angry. I would too.
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Old 04-22-2012, 07:10 PM   #14
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Good for you! I'm glad you vented, I'm glad you are out doing your walking thing. WTG!

I've had that experience -- few and far between thankfully -- but I always wonder what the heck is the matter with people like that. Spreading misery around? For what? This makes the world a better place because....?

You are totally right in letting it slide off your back and carrying on with your OWN life and living it how YOU want.

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Old 04-22-2012, 07:23 PM   #15
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A long time ago, I noticed that I faced far more ridicule when I broke the fat stereotype than when I reinforced it. I didn't hear the jokes and comments when I was overeating, or resting on a park bench - it was when I ordered healthy food (who does she think she's kidding, I bet she goes home and eats a gallon of ice cream) or when I was bicycling or walking.

As controversial as it is, the fat acceptance movement really helped me to develop the kind of self-confidence that allows me to truly not care what others think most of the time.

More often than not, I'm amused by the idiots (do they really not have better more interesting things to do). I tend to have and use some pretty funny come-backs though. Such as when someone says I'm fat either to me or loud enough for me to hear, I look at them and smile and say "Wow, you must be a genius to have figured that out all by yourself," or I'll say with a big smile, "Like I haven't heard that before, Geez if you're going to insult someone try to use a little creativity and go for something less obvious." or even just a big old smile and "No Sh*t" or "what's your point?"

I've gotten two different kinds of responses from the insulters (and both are kind of fun). Either the person becomes angry or embarassed (I win) or they laugh at my joke and even seem to admire my quick response (and I still win). Females almost never laugh - they get angry or embarassed. Males tend to be split about 50/50. Some guys seem to treat insults as a form of entertainment (sort of like on the 70's show, where the boys are always trying to "burn" each other with the insults, and the person giving the worst insult "wins").

When I bought a bicycle a few years ago, I was terrified to ride it in my very quiet neighborhood, because I was afraid people in the neighborhood would laugh at me. On my first ride, I was a bit unsteady, and a few neighbors were out when I rode. Some smiled, and some smiled and waved. I waved back, but my face was very red (not just from the exertion). I was embarassed and afraid that the "smiles" hadn't been as polite as they'd seemed, and I was afraid that people in the houses that I couldn't see where laughing at me.

I realized that I was never going to ride the bike if I couldn't stop obsessing over what everyone thought. I decided that I couldn't control what others thought and I would assume the best. Eventually I found it easier and easier to smile and wave at the smiling wavers.

I made an even bigger break through a couple years ago:

I have health issues that cause balance issues, and every spring it takes me a few days to "relearn" how to ride a bike, and even so I can only ride the bike on extremely good days (I've been thinking about getting a recumbent trike to solve this problem but they're quite expensive).

Anyway, I got on my bike for the first time that year, and wobbled as I started my ride. I did ok for a few feet, and then lost my balance and panicked and instead of hitting the break, I steered right into the garage door - in front of a neighbor who was just getting out his bike (super fit, in the little lycra shorts and tee, with the gloves, kneepads and bike helmet).

He didn't say ANYTHING and kind of looked away embarassed, and I just found the whole situation so damned funny I couldn't stop laughing. I realized I looked like a giant seven year old trying to learn how to ride a bike.

For some reason, KNOWING I look freaking hilarious on a bike made me feel better. I look ridiculous, but so what. Laugh at me if you want, because I'm laughing too. I look silly. I look stupid. But I'm on a bike and it's fun and it's good for me, so I think as if I'm speaking to all those that might be watching - "laugh all you want, because I'm laughing too and if you're trying to hurt me - you lose, because I don't care what you think. "I win" because my laughing (and biking) is good for me - what is your laughing doing for you?"
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