So I have much weight to lose. Since my bf I have been together we both have gained weight. He is around 30+ lbs and I ...well i have much to lose.
I have been on a program called Simply For Life for the past weeks and I am doing pretty good. It is all about clean eating which I like.
Now my "better half" eats all processed, fatty foods. Despises healthy foods, such a most veggies etc. if it isn't fast made, he won't make it. So he isn't great at inspiration...nor support.
He had a potluck at work earlier this week. He brought a HUGE container of 2 bite brownies and 2 bite cinnamon rolls from Costo. He brought almost 1/2 of each container back home the next day
The problem is, he knows I LOVE LOVE LOVE brownies. Actually, I love junk food. Anything sweet and fattening is my downfall. I ate EIGHTEEN of the brownies in 2 days and about 8 of the cinnamon things. The next night I asked him if he could help me do something. I was prepared to appeal to his helping side. He got snarky and said "what?!". I said i needed help with him not bringing in any junk food etc. That I find it very hard. he then said to me, 'Someday you are going to have to facet hat you need to get some willpower". OMG I was furious! My willpower is to know NOT to bring that stuff into the dang house! needless to say it was a frost night and the next day. After work we spoke again and he advised that he threw them out. I told him I felt that he was sabotaging my weight loss. I am down over 23 lbs and I need his help, not his snide remarks or bringing in chocolate etc.
I wish he would just support this eating in more ways. My family has a history of diabetes, arthritis, heart issues, stroke and cancer. His has cancer, and stroke...we both need to lose weight and he needs to stop smoking.
Some days I feel this is a losing battle. But I won't give up my battle, even if he is planting mines.
I didn't go to my weight in on Friday because I gained some weight, however I AM going tomorrow or Tuesday (depending on when they can get me in). I am really hoping to have hot the 25lb mark or more.
yep - went through the same thing here. he works at a restaurant and is constantly bringing home chicken wings, ribs, etc - those are my downfall items (salty protein - yummy!)
anyway, we have two fridges in the house - i told him to get his beer out of the basement fridge (which is about 15ft away from my bedroom door) and i use it for myself now. i can go days without opening the fridge upstairs now. makes life a lot easier.
Threenorns, thank you for the reply. I have my own cupboards that i use. And I have pretty much hogged most of the fridge with fresh veggies etc.
I try to make a week work of lunch's and suppers on Sundays for me to help stave off any extra "what can I eat fast because I am hungry" kind of slip up. I wish I had learned about eating healthy as a child. The fat thing is tiring you know? It feels all consuming.
One thing you have to remember is that the whole world isn't going to be supportive of your efforts. You'll constantly have to deal with your food weakness being around and learn to overcome it.
THAT SAID in your own home you should be able to at least relax a bit and not have to worry about that one thing you can't stay away from being there all the time. If you truly do have an issue with that stuff being around, you need to take steps to make sure you don't see it if your boyfriend brings it in. He's being kind of an ***, but I'm thinking that he just doesn't get it. My fiance doesn't, but over time he's become very understanding.
Sometimes my fiance needs a good smack with a clue by four, but otherwise he's pretty ok. You might need to give your boyfriend a good talking to though, as it's clear he doesn't understand. Maybe if you compare this stuff to hard drugs he might just get it.
If he really wants to bring the stuff in, why not go with what threenorns said, giving him his own space for the "junk" so you never even have to see it.
I understand your frustration, but like sontaikle said: not everybody is gonna be as supportive and not everybody understands really. It seems like really mean behavior but if he just doesn't get it, you can't really 'blame' him.
I moved back home for my studies and am doing the second half of my weightloss journey here. It's much harder than the first half because when I lived on my own there was no temptation in the house. My mom and her husband eat really carby and love candy and cookies. My downfall used to be chips and I can really say 'no' to myself on that. But the candy right infront of me is killing me. Stuff I wouldn't crave on my own is going into my mouth and I am wasting tons of calories on it.
The good news? I am SLOWLY learning to control myself. It sucks that I have to use this willpower while at home. But I guess it's a lesson one needs to learn eventually. Right now I am trying the approach that many have advocated on these boards, telling myself "It is not mine! taking it would be like stealing." Obviously it's hard to fool myself into believing that for real, because nobody would care if I took it. But I am thinking, my mom will need to spend less money on candy because they will last longer if I don't dip into it too. So I am not eating her money. I wouldn't ever ask her for money to go do useless stuff, so I won't through this candy either.
I can't tell you if it really works. But so far I've not touched the candyjar right infront of me all day. So yay for small victories. I also have my own candy tucked away in my cupboard that I tell myself, if I really want candy I can go get that. And so far I've not felt like getting it yet.
Goodluck! I hope your boyfriend will be more supportive, but if he won't, you will have to just deal with it the best you can! Nobody forces you to eat anything.
You ate 2500 calories in brownies and 2100 in cinnamon rolls. So you probably put on a lb of fat. It's not the end of the world it's just a minor set back. As for what your BF said?
I'd agree with him that someday you are going to have to get some will power.
Blaming him for your actions isn't how you grow. Yes he brought them home but you could have immediately tossed them out or given them to a neighbor. There are a number of things you could have done but you didn't.
You don't need to beat yourself up but you do need to accept responsibility for your actions. You're human. Aknowledge and move on.
My suggestion is you have a very clear and direct conversation with your BF and apologize for blaming him for your actions. Then you can ask him to never bring home those types of foods again.
For most of my weightless journey, I didn't live alone or even at some points have the ability to control what I got served for meals. It's really hard but everyone gets to a point where you have to want to be healthier and want to succeed enough to turn down your favorite food. It's hard but the victory in saying no to yourself sometimes, is worth it.
I'm also however a believer in setting yourself up for victory. I assume you and the bf live together and are both adults and he has as much right as you (unfortunately) to eat what he wants and bring what he wants home. However, maybe you could suggest the tub of brownies is put not in the kitchen or where you have easy access to it. Maybe he could take it back to the office and be Mr. Popular for the day or snack on them himself, whatever he chooses. But yes, it's helpful to get those brownies out of your sight if that's easier for you whether that means throwing them away, hiding them away, giving them away, getting him to take them away whatever.
The truth of the matter is that when you're on this journey, it consumes you and your life kind of revolves around diet and weigh loss and fitness etc, but one must realize that not everyone is at the same place and it's not anyone's obligation to make things simpler for you or help you succeed. It's however very nice though, and shows loving and caring though when they DO (because they care) try to help you succeed. This is what you need to communicate to your bf. Yes, admit you're struggling with willpower, and try to get him to help you not fail, because this is important to you.
By the way. You've done excellently and the brownie binge is just a drop in the grand scheme of things. Your next bite is always an opportunity to make healthier decisions. Hugs!
You are in control of what you put in your body. You may not be perfect, but will power is a skill you can work on. That said, your BF is still being an a** about it. There's no reason he needed to bring that stuff back home from the potluck, and it would be no effort on his part to do it in the future.
Leave the boyfriend. Seriously, weight loss and all of the issues surrounding it are so important. Any SO that can't be supportive of you for it is not a very good SO.
I'm puzzled why you gals are saying that her BF isn't being supportive when HE threw the baked goods in the garbage for her? She could have done that herself, BEFORE she ate any. All she had to do was ask him if he minded if she through the leftovers away ... obviously, he didn't mind at all.
I'm going to have to agree with John here that you are the one who is going to need to work on self control. Food is everywhere. Whether it's in your house, at work, or in a restaurant, it's everywhere so WE ALL here have to learn how to deal with it.
People around us are perfectly entitled to eat what and when we want. I get it, you wish he was supportive, and maybe that will happen over time. By being supportive you're asking him to pretty much change his habits too and maybe he's just not ready yet.
Some people need to start slowly rather than just cut everything out. Something maybe to try would be, "it's ok to have one or two brownies, and stop there." Maybe that's something that would work for you?
Sugary stuff is especially bad. I can tell you though, that the more you avoid it the less you want it. It really seems to be the case for most people, believe it or not.
I love to bake, so to stop me from having it sit at home all the time I bring the treats to work! They get eaten pretttttttty fast.
Otherwise, HIDE the treats...as they say out of sight, out of mind. You can freeze them too, take one out when you have a craving.
Or if you can handle wasting you can always put something gross on them..drop them on the floor..make it so you won't touch them. But as for me I hate wasting so I'd opt for the first two options. Sharing is always good!
By rule of thumb if I make something I try not to keep more than 3 for me and 3 for my BF...one a day for 3 days...and sometimes I don't even eat them!
Willpower is developed and grows stronger EVERY time you say no. Don't get into that pattern "Oh just one more, just one more, just one more"....that's where you get into trouble!
My neighbor gave me 2 jars of peanut butter.
So I made wonderful peanut butter cookies.
I ate 3 and gave the rest to her for her kids.
Everyone was happy.
She doesn't have time to bake.
I also gave a dozen to another neighbor.
She ate them all in one day and got very sick.
I didn't get sick or gain weight. I enjoyed the 3 little cookies and added them into my calorie count.
So don't go overboard again. If he brings home leftovers, eat one in front of him.
Then just toss the rest down the toilet.
He doesn't need the extra calories either.
And next time there is a party, let someone else take ALL the leftovers home.
We have to work around our temptations.
Don't look back...that's not the way you're going!
If I banned junk food in my house, my husband would divorce me and my roommates would kick me to the curb. Weight loss is personal. It would be like me demanding that all they eat is vegetables. That's not fair at all. Yes, it sucks big time seeing the giant bag of chips or the delicious box of cupcakes, but at the end of the day, they are allowed those things and its not up to me to decide that they are allowed in a shared house.
You said your bf threw them away... that was very very nice of him since he didn't have to do that. You should be very thankful. He's not sabotaging your plan. If he was like "O hey, eat this, eat this to, o just one more".. then that isn't helpful. But just having food in the house is not a case of him not being supportive.
As others have mentioned, getting an area for your food so you do not have to look at his is probably the best thing you can do. Or, just ask him to keep his food in a locked cupboard or on a shelf you can't reach so that you cant even "innocently" take one bite... which happens to me all the time lol!
Ideally you would gain the willpower to not go for the junk food. The boyfriend hiding it might help, but it does boil down to not going for it, knowing that its there.
Honestly, I had to move out to lose weight. Even now, my family pushes fatty foods on my plate-100% no doubts about it sabatagoers in a lot of ways. I am not longer tempted by the foods now but it took me over a year of living alone (and continuing living alone, they stress me out so much), so I understand.
Sabotage..knowingly or not.
Anything sweet and fattening is my downfall. I ate EIGHTEEN of the brownies in 2 days and about 8 of the cinnamon things.
The next night I asked him if he could help me do something. I was prepared to appeal to his helping side. He got snarky and said "what?!". I said i needed help with him not bringing in any junk food etc. That I find it very hard. he then said to me, 'Someday you are going to have to facet hat you need to get some willpower". OMG I was furious! My willpower is to know NOT to bring that stuff into the dang house! needless to say it was a frost night and the next day. After work we spoke again and he advised that he threw them out. I told him I felt that he was sabotaging my weight loss. I am down over 23 lbs and I need his help, not his snide remarks or bringing in chocolate etc. 
