[debigulating]

So I guess being overwhelmed emotionally + not eating well for a few days + being asked to do something that is really hard for me = bursting out crying on the floor at the gym....

It was mildly embarrassing, to say the least.

My husband is deploying overseas in a couple days and won't be home for 9 months... It's not his first deployment but it is mine, so I kind of don't know what I'm doing. I was fine up until a few days ago when the reality of it hit me. And then came the emotional eating... Because sleeping off a sugar coma is way easier than feeling anxiety, pain, sadness... All those things I have grown up self-medicating rather than working through. I had been very proud of myself for not really feeling affected by DH's imminent departure but I realize that maybe it wasn't a good thing to not feel anything, since it ended up all just barreling down on me at once.

Luckily my trainer was kind about the crying, and gave me a little pep talk. She acknowledged she was pushing me, that's what I pay her for. And it was a hard move, it wasn't just me. I'm just not used to feeling like I can't do things - I can ALWAYS do things even if it's slower or less intense than more fit people - but feeling unable to finish a set was new to me. So all of the sudden it was just all too much and BAM, I'm a weepy girl laying on the floor.

Sigh. It's just a good reminder that diet/exercise does not occur in a vacuum. No matter who you are, you have a life outside of these things, and they all impact everything else. It's important to take care of yourself 100%, because you can't just do one and let everything else fall apart, you know?

There's a life lesson in there somewhere, if someone wants to find it For now, I need to focus on feeling my feelings - allowing myself to cry and be sad. Because I can't keep eating them away. That just results in awkward gym crying at inopportune times. Better to just own one's emotions, yes?

[MamaBravo]

Oh hun (((hugs)))
I am glad that the trainer was sypathetic about it
While I have been in a similar situation, it wasnt the same as my ex was not going somewhere risk his life, but I do feel your pain.
Hang in there and lean on us for support.
Just imagine you can get all hot and in shape for when he will come home, it will be a good surprise I am sure.

[strawleyl]

Hey I read this and wanted to cry......each n every word u have said I felt two years ago when my husband deployed for the first time......u kno u like live in denial NaH hes not going anywhere as if he will be the only one who they will leave behind but then they are packing their gear and are getting poas n wills ready n it hurd you and u Jst dnt kno what to do bevause i mean u want to.be atrong and.enjoy the time u have left with them but u need time to feel what ur suppose to feel.....sad :/ its Tru u should still show ur emtions.bcuz its not good to hold them back......I hope these 9 months go as quick as mine did and i .hope u take thia time for urself to have u time and do something for u bcuz of course military life is sacrifice of things u luv for ur luved one .....think of it the way i did as I did work out the whole time he was gone......u have sumin for him to look forward to for homecoming!

[JossFit]

As the one who is constantly deploying (I'm deployed right now) it's important to me to know that when I'm gone my fiance is taking care of himself and not letting my absence get him down. It is important to talk to him and tell him how you feel, and realize that it's totally natural to feel all kinds of anxiety before he departs.

The last thing you need is for him to be distracted and worried about you while he's gone though. You need to take care of him by taking care of yourself, and that includes finding a productive way to deal with your emotions. Eating badly does nothing to deal with those feelings, and only leaves you physically and emotionally drained and further unable to deal with your feelings.

It will be hard at first, but you'll adjust to a new "Normal" quickly, and like someone else said, you can focus on how great you're going to look and feel by the time he gets home!

[ValRock]

Hang in there hun!! I'm somewhere in the middle of a 3 year separation. It never gets easier but you learn how to deal. He's home on an R&R right now and then we lose him again until September. Then off again for another year.

If you ever need to vent/cry/commiserate please feel free to PM me!! I've been doing this for 9 years... and still, sometimes I break down crying. Military wives have gotta stick together!!!!

YOU CAN DO THIS, Because you have to!!! *hugs*

[twinieten]

Although embarrassing, it sounds cathartic. Keep working!

[debigulating]

Thanks everybody I think once I get into it, and he's gone, I'll be fine. I'm a pretty independent person and have lots to keep me busy while he's gone. It's just such a struggle to LET myself be sad about him leaving, which is bizarre. I need to remind myself it's ok. Because if I don't, I'm going to end up just wallowing.... Which isn't good for either of us. It just highlights how deeply my relationship with food is intertwined with my emotions... I don't necessarily eat because i'm sad/lonely/etc, but to prevent myself from feeling that way in the first place.

Definitely something I need to work on if I'm ever going to see long-term success!

[freelancemomma]

Originally Posted by debigulating

So I guess being overwhelmed emotionally + not eating well for a few days + being asked to do something that is really hard for me = bursting out crying on the floor at the gym....

I've been there. A couple of months ago I started crying when I asked a spin instructor to stop correcting me all the time. (She was a real drill sergeant and would say stuff like, "Everybody in the room has correct form except (pointing) YOU and YOU.") Most certainly embarrassing, but she ended up hugging me after class. I think most people understand and empathize with stress and emotion.

F.

[Arctic Mama]

I'd probably cry, too! Sometimes stress just gets the better of us, it sounds like yours happened in a gym . It's a tough, emotionally exhausting situation you're in, and it's going to take some time to get used to him being gone for a season or three.

[KittyKatFan]

I want to thank your husband for his service to our country. And you too, because you are sacrificing a lot for us by having to keep the household together while he is way.

Everybody deserves to cry once in a while and you have a good reason to. I hope things get better for you.

[LARWife]

I know exactly what you mean. My husband deployed 3 times and each time my goal was to lose instead I just ate...I guess to fill the void of him being gone. IT's tough. I'm not going to lie but I started looking at it like childbirth...it's painful but in the end you get your baby lol. If you need someone to talk to you can pm me anytime. You can do this and think of the look on his face when he comes home and you have lost all that weight. What I wouldn't give to do that over again.