3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community  

Go Back   3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community > Support Forum > Weight Loss Support

Weight Loss Support Give and get support here!

Hard to watch people regain

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 04-10-2012, 12:53 PM   #1
Melissa
 
berryblondeboys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 5,899

Height: 5'6.5"

Default Hard to watch people regain

I can't blog about this because these two people read my blog and I don't want them to feel bad - I know how much of a mental game this whole change of lifestyle is. Losing weight is relatively easy - because it's short term, but keeping up the routine for life is the hard part and regaining is all too common.

Two people in my real life lost a lot of weight on their own through diet and exercise about a year before I started. One got derailed by a difficult surgery and the other just is struggling with keeping up the determination. I've watched both regain about half of their lost weight - I'm assuming. It looks it.

I feel so sad for them as I know how much both of them want to be thinner and above all, healthier and of course, it puts the worry in my head too - if it happened to them, it could happen to me too - losing focus, getting lazy with habits, getting side tracked.

I also wonder how my continued downward trend (though much, much slower now) bothers/hurts them. I don't want that, of course. I can't really say anything, but it puts me in an awkward position sometimes.

But mostly, it makes me sad to see them struggling. Has that happened with you?
__________________
My journey to a healthier lifestyle blog: http://melissaslife42.blogspot.com/



berryblondeboys is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-10-2012, 01:00 PM   #2
is a persistent thistle
 
Thistleberry's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 319

S/C/G: 230/see ticker/133

Height: 5'6"

Default

My oldest brother lost over 50 lbs doing low carb a year or so ago and has sadly gained quite a bit back. In his case, I think it's about education. He went to a nutritionist (dietician? I'm not certain) and she placed him on this diet. It was handed to him and he went with it; he didn't understand why it worked or what to do to maintain it. Now he wants to know what I'm doing and I've tried to explain it to him but he simply doesn't seem to care about the why. Makes all the difference, I think.
__________________
Mini Goal:


Started 10/21/12

Mordor Challenge : 73 miles
Thistleberry is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-10-2012, 01:06 PM   #3
Senior Member
 
PinkLotus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 373

S/C/G: 257/257/157

Height: 5'7"

Default

I'm always the one who's doing the regaining, unfortunately. I have this tendency to fall off the wagon for various reasons (pregnancy, injury, just plain losing motivation) and undoing all the hard work I put into losing weight. Being on that end of the stick, I'll tell you that for me, when I've fallen off the wagon and see people still going, I feel jealous that they are continuing to succeed while I failed. It makes me feel bad about myself, but it's my own issues and problems, and I'm genuinely happy for them that they are still going.
Although I do have a friend who I've watched regain a couple of times as well. Right now I'm very motivated and have been working really hard to stay motivated and she's on a regain. I feel awful for her since I've been there, but there's not much I can do but focus on my own journey.
I guess all you can do is be there for them, offer support and encouragement and hope that maybe you can help inspire them to get back on track.
__________________

for every 5lbs lost

5% (245)
10% (232)
Halfway to goal (207)
Onederland
No longer obese (191)
PinkLotus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-10-2012, 01:08 PM   #4
Stephanie
 
LockItUp's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,221

S/C/G: 236/135-140/More Fit

Height: 5'6"

Default

It's part of the journey. I've lost and gained back, and lost and gained back. It happens. I think it's just part of it for some people. I definitely understand why you feel sad and concerned; it's a lot of hard work to throw away not to mention a threat health wise. But it happens when you aren't quite "there" yet I think. They will hopefully learn from it and next time they lose they will have more tools to keep them from gaining it back.
__________________
Stephanie
LockItUp is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-10-2012, 01:14 PM   #5
Senior Member
 
Volschika007's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 211

S/C/G: 226/199/160

Height: 5'8"

Default

I definitely know how you feel. One side of my family are all just obese. I watch them start diets all the time and lose about 20 pounds and then give up. It seems like in the end they're just constantly getting bigger and bigger. It particularly makes me sad because my cousin is one of them. We're the same age and while I know I'm not skinny either, I just feel shocked each time I see her and she's just bigger and bigger. It hurts me. I mean what happens one day when she wants kids? Diabetes also runs in our family I don't want to see her get that either...
Volschika007 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-10-2012, 01:29 PM   #6
On a break with Baby #5
 
Arctic Mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Alaska
Posts: 3,763

S/C/G: 257 /ticker/ 160

Height: 5'3" - I got taller!

Default

It is hard to watch and I don't want to be insensitive in how I respond, but their journeys are their own and I always hope that if someone is curious they'll ask me questions and if they're discouraged, they should realize that if I can do it, anyone can. But beyond that I just focus in my own journey with humility to realize that with the hard, daily work, where there are is where I could be.
__________________
Taryl - http://www.aurorafiberarts.com/weightloss

Weight loss since Oct 2008:
Arctic Mama is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-10-2012, 01:31 PM   #7
Porthardygurl
 
Porthardygurl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Port Hardy BC
Posts: 1,805

S/C/G: 315/see ticker/180

Height: 6ft

Default

I guess thats the thing..for those of us that have been obese a long time..losing weight may just have to be a way of life. We may never be able to go back to just "Regular" eating..as much as it sucks..if we want to make sure we dont put it on..i suppose we are going to have to always be on a type of diet
__________________
e
Porthardygurl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-10-2012, 01:51 PM   #8
Senior Member
 
Brandis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: florida
Posts: 658

Height: 5'9"

Default

I have the same issue with my sis in law. She is so heavy right now I am shocked. I see her start to try to lose weight, do okay for awhile, and stop. She is a slow loser so she gives up easily. She figures if she only loses a pound every other week, that's just not fast enough and well, just gives up. She doesn't notice if you gain a few pounds a month, that that is soooooo much worse than only losing 1 every few weeks. She has also fallen into the processed food trap, and her kids are just getting fatter and fatter. That makes me sadder than anything else. Knowing there will be yet another generation that does not know what fresh food is, but will be well versed in taking blood sugars and medications for their obesity. My nephew is so big now I did not recognize him, and it has only been a few mos. since I last saw him. It is sad, but I just remember that I don't want to be like that anymore, and that is why I am on this journey again. Maybe if I eventually succeed, I can be a role model for others.
Brandis is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-10-2012, 02:50 PM   #9
Senior Member
 
linJber's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: NW PA
Posts: 1,609

S/C/G: 255/holding at 162/160

Height: 5'-7"

Default

I think the problem is in thinking there is a "normal" way to eat that doesn't involve restraint. I can't tell you how many times I've been asked, "Are you ever going to be able to eat normal food?" When I ask what they mean by "normal" I always get the same answer - like you ate before. People don't get it that how we ate before obviously wasn't working and they tend to think of losing weight as a temporary situation, then you can go back to "normal." I guess it takes a while for it to sink in that this is how you also maintain.
__________________


Life style change started on Jan 13, 2011. I was going to lose 100 pounds by Christmas.
I lost 93 pounds by Oct 1, 2011 and am holding there for now. We'll see what happens.
New goal: To maintain at about 160 Final Goal: To decide if I need to lose more
Just Keep On Keepin' On

Last edited by linJber : 04-10-2012 at 02:51 PM.
linJber is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-10-2012, 02:52 PM   #10
Senior Member
 
pixelllate's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Park Slope, NYC
Posts: 1,141

Height: 5'3.25''

Default

I have regained several times, what I can't stand is that people who have never tried to lose look down on regainers. It can be hard, esp when no one supports you and you have low self-esteem. Now I am working on me on the inside, so that I can maintain.
On the plus side, since I have regained, I know its not that scary and I can always go back to losing the weight-as I have like 4 other times lol, I would just rather not have to go through this losing process again.
I admire the people who live with weight loss saboteurs, I dont think that I could ever lose at home. I'm really relieved that I don't live with my parents anymore lol.
EDIT-I also tell myself that its OK to be a statisical outlier. So what if 95% diets fail or whatever! I've scored pretty high on some tests compared to other test takers, so if I am in that 5% of successful dieters then so be it-its possible.
__________________


I listened to my gut and it said "You could do with less of me."

B00ty-Underwear pic as of March 2014 NSFW

Last edited by pixelllate : 04-10-2012 at 02:54 PM.
pixelllate is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-10-2012, 03:01 PM   #11
Melissa
 
berryblondeboys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 5,899

Height: 5'6.5"

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by linJber View Post
I think the problem is in thinking there is a "normal" way to eat that doesn't involve restraint. I can't tell you how many times I've been asked, "Are you ever going to be able to eat normal food?" When I ask what they mean by "normal" I always get the same answer - like you ate before. People don't get it that how we ate before obviously wasn't working and they tend to think of losing weight as a temporary situation, then you can go back to "normal." I guess it takes a while for it to sink in that this is how you also maintain.
Well, they could be meaning - eating normal food - not just normal amounts of food - or the amounts of food you ate before.

For me, I plan to eat all foods. I'll just less of them than before. Well, i'll no longer eat cheetos. (I was eating a bag a day!!!!), but I will eat cookies and cake on occasion. I'm not giving up all those foods and haven't on this journey either. I have just finally learned what moderation means!
__________________
My journey to a healthier lifestyle blog: http://melissaslife42.blogspot.com/



berryblondeboys is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-10-2012, 03:02 PM   #12
Choose Your Hard
 
DollyMichele's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 94

S/C/G: 180 / ticker / 140

Height: 5'5"

Default

I completely agree with Thistle berry - I think it is largely education. A lot of people think there is this *ONE* magic way to lose weight. They follow the plan and once hit the goal weight they think - I can go back to eating "normal" (linJber- you are so on point there!) they never learn how to manage day by day, meal by meal in the real world away from all the restrictions & rules of the original plan. I know I was like that. I followed calorie counting & my trainer religiously for months. I lost 30 pounds and once i hit goal - *Zap* back to being "normal". add 5 years & I was back at my highest weight. =( THis time I get it, there is no magic plan. "eating Normal" = gaining weight. I will never be normal in that sense again. but I know this time I am mentally prepared for this & more likely to make this permanent. sad though - seeing people struggle. I think we have all been there.
__________________


Healthy BMI = 150 lbs // All my clothes will fit = 140 lbs
DollyMichele is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-10-2012, 03:37 PM   #13
Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Kentucky, but from FL
Posts: 51

S/C/G: 128lbs/123.2/103

Height: 5' 1"

Default

My husband went down to 220lbs when he moved to Florida with me. He then quit his job for another, and the other turned out to be a lie. So we had to move north with his parents. Unfortunately, he would eat and eat and EAT their CRAP (sorry, their menu ticks me off) until he got to 275lbs. If we didn't move out when we did, he probably would have passed 300.

Lucky we've moved out again and he's down to 250lbs and is in the same pants size he was in when we were in Florida.
__________________

  • Below 23 BMI: 4/1/2012
  • Under 120s:
  • Below 110s!:
  • Goal 103-105:

One crazy face for every pound lost:
Moonsai is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-10-2012, 04:39 PM   #14
Senior Member
 
freelancemomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 2,077

S/C/G: 195/145/145

Height: 5'11"

Default

Yes. Many years ago I saw one of my coworkers lose a ton of weight, then balloon back up remarkably quickly. She was a smart and motivated woman and was in a good place mentally (had just started a passionate new relationship), so I figured she was making the tradeoff (more food for more weight) with eyes wide open.

F.
freelancemomma is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-10-2012, 05:14 PM   #15
always full of hot air
 
TamiL's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Indiana
Posts: 829

S/C/G: 190/114/125

Height: 5'3"

Default

I have nothing but pure empathy for people that regain. I have been there so many times in my life before. Its a cycle that is so hard to break, so many reasons why we gain back what we fought so hard to lose.
__________________
My goal pictures thread
http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/goal...fter-pics.html
TamiL is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Posts by members, moderators and admins are not considered medical advice
and no guarantee is made against accuracy.


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
'Why are thin people not fat?' serendipity907 Weight Loss Support 37 04-03-2011 03:24 AM
Hi. I don't know what to do. srmb60 Living Maintenance 25 10-25-2004 09:05 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:56 AM.






Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.3.2