I have lost and regained twice. When I regained, I didn't quite reach my peak but I was way too close for comfort. Now that I have lost it again (and maintained for awhile), a lot of people think this is the very first time I ever lost weight. Even people close to me, like my parents, wouldn't remember that I once (or twice!) regained it. So, they don't quite get why I can be so vigilant about my eating and exercise habits.
No one ever really directly confronted me about my weight regain and I honestly doubt anything they said would've helped me.
I've never been one to base a person's personality or moral fiber to whatever their number is on a scale. I'm not particularly smarter now that I am in maintenance mode than when I was regaining. Life changed and I couldn't handle the change while maintaining my weight.
I find that people who are near or at goal weight will be more receptive to diet and exercise assistance or advice. So, if you have a friend who lost a lot of weight and is now getting married or having a child, you can offer to exercise with them during the next year or so for encouragement. Or give recipes now that she will have less time to cook, etc.
I have lost and regained 7 times in my life. I see the warning signals in a few posters on the board. (For once, I am not one of them.) It makes me sad. But, I think, everyone just does the best they can.
I have lost and regained 7 times in my life. I see the warning signals in a few posters on the board. (For once, I am not one of them.) It makes me sad. But, I think, everyone just does the best they can.
What are some of the warning signals? I know some are obvious, like going on a plan that is not sustainable in the long term. What else?
Last time I regained, I would ask myself during a binge: "Why are you doing this? You're going to regain the weight back." My answer? "I don't care." Now that I'm in the process of getting rid of all I gained back, I DO care. But at that moment, I just wanted to eat more and more--whether to comfort myself or whatever. I guess desire is one of those things that ebbs and flows.
I would say, for myself, warning signs are ignoring gains, making excuses, denial, bargaining, magic thinking (that I can keep the weight off in a different way than I took it off), and not putting staying on plan first.
So funny to see this today - or sad. Something I wrote almost two years ago has resurfaced just as I came back as a regainer. Having gained back 80 of the 110 I had lost. The first 30 I gained back (and lost part and gained part) over the course of a year. The last 50 I put on quickly in less than a year.
My two friends? They have been struggling too - but much less dramatically than I have been on the scale and they never gave up as completely as I did. While in my head I knew I hadn't give up "forever" but I sure did shut down "mostly".
I've lost and regained 70 lbs about 3 times in my life, and smaller amounts in between. Finally got to goal and found myself bingeing a few times, and that really scared me! Thanks to this website, I found some books about eating behavior & dieting that were really enlightening.
Apparently our brains are hard wired to drive us to stock up after a famine. Those powerful urges and cravings that lead many of us to regain are not lapses of will power. They are actually survival instincts that have evolved to help humans survive food scarcity and are triggered by dieting.
Understanding that has helped me enormously. Also, I'm learning to be happy with the few pounds I gained rather than aim for the 'perfect' weight I had when I first reached maintenance.
I have a friend that put on a shocking amount of weight, she has since lost about 20p of it but last summer I was really worried about her health. Of couse I never said a word and never will unless she asks.
I've always in been in awe just how RIDICULOUSLY fast weight comes back on for those who have lost it.
It really seems as if 2 slices of pizza will put 5 lbs on someone who has lost weight and nothing on that person who has always been the same weight.
Obviously I'm exaggerating there, but how is it even possible to put 20lbs in one month? Not water weight, the real deal. I know it's possible though because I did it. I do feel badly when I watch people regain, and it makes me feel as if the deck is stacked against us.
Ultimately though, what pushes me through those feelings of hopelessness is the fact that I don't have the right to feel sorry for myself. I have a family that will depend on me being around for sometime, so I can't let them down.
Yes, it is totally possible to gain 20 lbs in a month and not even hard!
When we were on vacation 18 months ago or so, we swam and hiked everything. When we came back I had gained 20 pounds in a month. My thin husband was the same. My mother in law lost weight. We were together every day, all day, so we saw each other eat. Sure, we all ate more, yet I was the one with the HUGE weight gain. Of which I truly hoped was water weight.... none of it was. Or at most 3 pounds of it was.
I think that was the start of the downward spiral for me. It was the first time I fully realized how meticulous I would have to be and I didn't know if I could be that "on" for the rest of my life.
I'm 62. So I've had a lot of people in my life during that time.
I have also been a yo-yo dieter. I've never been seriously overweight, but I've lost the same 25-30 lbs several times.
This thread had me thinking about people I know PERSONALLY who have lost a large amount of weight and kept it off for a significant period of time. After spending some time thinking about it, I finally realized I have only known one person who has done this successfully.
This is a young woman I met when she was around 13 years old. Even then she was somewhat overweight, and she got bigger as she got older. But she married very young (18) and lost a tremendous amount of weight for her wedding. I figured "oh, she'll just gain it all back" but she didn't. She's always been a very focused, determined young lady in all the other aspects of her life, and apparently once she made the decision to lose the weight, she approached it as she does everything else.
She's now 32 (same age as my son) and although I haven't seen her in person in quite some time, I see her posts on FB. She finished college AND an advanced degree, has two lovely young children and a precious husband (yes, still married to the same man she married at 18), a wonderful career, and stays very physically active.
The number of people I know who've lost and gained repeatedly, however, are legion. The most serious of these is a morbidly obese niece who has struggled with weight since puberty. She is now 47 years old and suffering serious health issues because of her weight. She has lost significant weight from time to time, the last time several years ago which was her most successful attempt yet (about a 100 lb weight loss). But she gained it all back and is at her all-time high.
But she is just one of many people I've known over the years who have done this.
This mirrors all the statistics we are familiar with regard to people maintaining long-term weight loss. The numbers vary depending on the sources you are reading, but the undeniable fact is that the vast majority of people who lose weight regain it within a relatively short period of time, almost always adding extra pounds in the process.
ETA: If you spend some time perusing the introductions thread here at 3FC, you'll also notice a large number of regainers who come here looking for support. On occasion I've seen as many as 3 of them post in one day. Some are new to 3FC; others are people returning after a weight gain. It's very sad.
Last edited by SouthernMaven; 04-02-2014 at 01:46 PM.
I think the problem is in thinking there is a "normal" way to eat that doesn't involve restraint.
Well said. I believe that every adult who loves to eat, whether trying to lose weight or not, needs to exercise restraint in order to keep from gaining weight. I've had several "naturally thin" friends tell me that they "have to be careful." They just accept it as part of life.
I've also lost and regained the same 30 to 50 pounds several times in my life. I tend to think of my regains as more psychologically than physiologically motivated. For those of us who are wired to derive intense pleasure and comfort from food, eating "sensibly" requires continual psychological restraint. I've noticed a kind of resentment building up inside me when I exercise restraint day after day after day. What seems to happen is that I eventually snap: something shifts in my mind, and "to h-e-l-l with it" becomes more appealing than yet another day of restraint.
This time I've maintained my weight loss for two and a half years, far longer than ever before. The difference is that I exercise regularly, which seems to keep me in a motivated frame of mind. I also allow myself an unrestrained binge every few weeks (and I do mean unrestrained), which helps keep the resentment in check.
F.
Last edited by freelancemomma; 04-02-2014 at 03:07 PM.
Well said. I believe that every adult who loves to eat, whether trying to lose weight or not, needs to exercise restraint in order to keep from gaining weight. I've had several "naturally thin" friends tell me that they "have to be careful." They just accept it as part of life.
F.
I agree with you. I always thought that thin people ate whatever they wanted. That's true for some people but other people are disciplined in their approach. I think that it may be that people who "eat whatever they want" and are thin have a sort of natural discipline to their eating that they are simply unaware of, like how some people are gifted at math or sports. The rest of us have to be present and discerning. I am learning to stop eating before I'm full. There is nothing natural about this for me. I want to plow through to stuffed. There will never be a time when I can go back to the way I eat naturally. I am satisfied with that because I'm happy eating the way that I am now.
