Yes, this is the way with my husband, too (different hobby, but the same in that he doesn't focus on food). For a while, before work became overwhelming, I had become absorbed in learning how to sew. At that time, I could while away the afternoon absorbed in that hobby, and I noticed that when I did that, I could easily skip lunch because I wasn't thinking about food. Now that work has gotten crazy, though, I don't have that kind of time, so I reach for food because it is a convenient, quick source of pleasure.

If it's anything that IE is designed for it's this. IMO dieters who lose and regain and then lose again only to regain again get derailed by their resentment towards their diet. It's like walking a tight rope all the time, with an attitude of "I have to be good, I have to stay on plan, this food choice was good, that food choice was bad." When you're in a constant state of self-judgement over every morsel of food then yes, it's easy to build up resentment. Everybody knows what happens when you put a dog on a chain in the corner. Be afraid when it gets loose. When they fall off the tight rope they beat themselves up over it. Normal eaters are just standing on the ground looking up at the tight rope and thinking "dude, what are you doing up there, u crazy??"

It's very difficult to walk that tight rope all the time, and some people can get really far with it. But even a tightrope should get you to the other side eventually right? Unfortunately diets are a never ending tight rope, there's no other side you're either ON or you're gone.

Reality is - like it or not, especially for those of us 40 and over is that we have to be ultra vigilant. It is and always WILL BE a constant tight rope walk.

Heck, it is for most women over 40 anyway - just ask, but if you have been obese in the past? And you have coping mechanisms that involve food for self -medicating, it will be a lifelong tight rope walk. And, in my opinion, it is much better to accept that and deal with that than anything else.

I'm sorry you see it that way. Please don't assume that I don't have my own struggles to deal with. The amount of suffering I've endured at the hands of my own eating disorder I wouldn't wish on anyone. My whole life has been a tight rope walk. I might not weigh as much as some others on the forum but I've strung my life together jumping from one binge to another. I won't play the "I've got it harder than you" hand but I do not, cannot, will not accept the future that you painted. It took me a long time to fill my glass halfway, it'd be a shame to look at it half empty.

I understand that - and that is why we all have to find our own way.

I am by nature, an optimist. I do see the glass half full. it's why I believe I can be successful. I just have to have things lined up right to do so and to keep learning what works and what doesn't = for me. Just as you have to for yourself.

For me I need:

adequate sleep
low carb diet
moderate, regular exercise with most of it being cardio
no depression - and if I feel it coming up - have my watch dog alert me.

If any of those things get left out - it spells disaster. So, I guess I can say that I don't have to walk a tight rope with food, but all those things that affect me in ways that lead to unhealthy eating habits.

We definitely need to find balance in our lives and when one thing goes unbalanced it can wreak havoc on the rest of our abilities, you're right. I think I put too much pressure on myself regarding food, I'm not able to self-assess in a productive way and dieting makes that worse. For example if I have a load of laundry and I don't get to it today or tomorrow and then I have to end up doing 3 loads of laundry on day then yea that's a bummer. But I never resort to getting down on myself for it. Can't say the same about food though, when I was dieting one bad decision would send me pulling my hair out at the self hatred I felt. It wasn't a logical response so I too am learning to balance myself in a way that feels most logical.

Low carb BTW is the EXACT opposite of having to watch everything and to struggle. To me and what I have experienced.

I can't emphasize how it is the polar opposite of that. In fact every time they do controlled studies and give people all their foods but they then have to calorie count (the moderation approach) versus people who go low carb without ANY calorie restriction, low carb people do better. Every single time, not once in awhile. Now these are groups of research people, anyone on here the mileage may vary.

I look at this way. Moderation, to me, is the constant struggle and watching everything. People are eating foods to me high carb foods that naturally make them hungry. Their blood sugar rises then plummets, they get extremely hungry. Very hard for some people to succeed with.

What thousands, probably millions, of people find with low carb is their hunger plummets. Without the insluin surges the hunger just disappears. That is why many Atkins books call it the 'effortless' weight loss. Note I didn't personally go Atkins or even read an Atkins books, but I have seen titles.

I can say that reducing carbs, eliminating grains, has been unbelievable to me. No hunger at all for me now. The gold standard of not having to struggle. Just, for me, a beautiful way to be with food. Fat is incredibly satiating, when not accompanied by carbs. I urge anyone who has never gone low carb for a couple of months that struggles with hunger to try it. It may not work at all. Or, like lots of people before, it might be the best thing you ever do for your hunger.

So for me low carb isn't a tight rope at all. It is just a fantastic, awesome, free way to get wonderful tasty food, be healthy, lose weight, and never having to experience hunger again.

Note diabetes runs in my family and I was heading that way. So I am insulin resistant to some extent. For me, low carb, was a 'Gaia send' without any exaggeration at all. Fundamentally changed my hunger, relationship to food, and health.

I actually have the perfect illustration of what I am talking about. Please note this is NOT to disagree with anyone but to share how I succeeded in case it helps someone else.

Yesterday was my first ever pork rind. They are a very big snack in the low carb community but I just had never tried one. They have zero carbs, but lots of protein and fat. Actually good fat as they are usually fried in their own fat so no vegetable oil is used.

So before when I eat potato chips I could easily polish off a 5 ounce bag, which is five servings. Why? I would try and stop but the carbs were raising my blood sugar and I just could not stop. The act of eating them just kept making me more and more hungry. Then a couple of hours or less after finishing the 5 ounce bag I'd be hungry again. For me it was awful.

Well the pork rinds. I eat 4 and they just filled me up. For my metabolism, the protein and fat extraordinary filling.

I can't emphasis enough how life transforming it has been for me to eat foods that fill me up and avoid foods that make me hungry. It made success this time so much easier. Night and day from previous attempts for me.

I concur with the "older than 40" (and in my case, 50) comment- even though I have had a weight problem most of my life, it is so much harder to lose, the older you get. When I was thin for a total of four years in my life, I had to be very diligent about how much I ate and exercised, exercised, exercised to maintain that loss. While other family and friends were sitting around the dinner table having coffee and dessert, I took my nephews outside to play sports or for a long, long walk. Unfortunately, I am now the only person amongst family and friends that does the prepping, cooking, baking, and hosting the holidays- so it isn't easy for me to get that break during holidays anymore. They all go for a walk while I sit down to relax after three days of cooking, then get up and serve dessert and coffee when they get back.

I see myself as being very very passive these last few years in terms of helping myself. I am so busy helping and doing for others- it's a rat race for me to go mall walking and swimming- I have to make sure there is a meal for my family to eat when they get home, get my sister as well as myself's lunch and water packed- I am often up late at night doing all of this, just so that I can exercise for a few hours. Some days, I am exhausted, but I am determined to do this for me, this time around. I need to! It's much harder now than when I was younger, and for us who are here now in this age group understand the comments "it's a lot harder to lose weight, the older you get- that's not lip service- it's the very truth!

Good luck to you and I hope and pray things work out for you. I totally understand about having things "lined up"- while my list is slightly different, it is the same in terms of needing things to fall into place for me to be successful. I have one more thing I added to my list just recently- and that is to stop doing so much for others all the time, and to do more for ME. I give and give and give until I have nothing left to give, and then give some more, and hardly ever take back. Time for me to take care of me, now.
No one else will!

Oh how I wish. I was eating low carb for two years. I lost 100 pounds. I exercised regularly and kept my sugars intact, but I had to watch what I ate - low carb or not.

Can I overeat on low carb foods? You bet I can. I could eat an entire jar of peanut butter in one day if I wanted to -or a jar of peanuts. I could walk down a big steak, etc.

Now, did it keep my blood sugars down? Yes. Did it make it way easier to eat less overall? Yes. But I still had to fight overeating daily.

Hum. Did you get enough fat? Some times low carbers cut the carbs but don't up the fat enough. I have 2 to 3 tablespoons of coconut oil a day. I do something called 'bulletproof' coffee.

I also just started experimenting with 'resistant starch' in the form of unmodified potato starch. So far, it does really reduce my appetite even more. There is a thread in Carb Counters.

Also I personally do dairy. Between dairy and the fat, radically reduced appetite. Of course enough water also and I have been running. But it is all a process of tweaking and self-discovery of what is best for each person.

Wannabe, I am really happy that IE is working out so well for you. I've been reading your posts with interest, and I sense an excitement and an inner peace in your posts. That's wonderful!

Just to present another perspective on it, though, I'd like to share my experience with IE, which seems quite different from yours: I have tried doing IE several times in past years and have failed miserably. For instance, when I tried IE, I was constantly trying to gauge whether I was "really" hungry or not, whether a craving was just in my head or whether my body really wanted/needed it, whether I had had enough food to feel satisfied, etc. Then, if I did eat when I was not hungry, I would feel like a failure----no different from "cheating" on any other diet. Also, at times my hunger signals were darned inconvenient and often did not coincide with traditional meal times / social eating times. For instance, I might be hungry at, say, 3:00 p.m. Well, if I happened to be in a circumstance where I could eat (i.e., not at work), I would eat. Then when dinnertime would come around, I would not be physically hungry. I faced a dilemma: Should I not eat dinner with my husband because I'm not hungry? To me, that is not an acceptable solution. (I cannot ignore the fact that eating is not just for nourishment or pleasure, but is a social/cultural activity, too). This is why I've come to believe that unless IE somehow clicks with the person trying it (as it seems to have with you and some others), it may be no different than a traditional diet, tightrope and all.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I am very happy for people for whom IE works (wish I was one of them). I understand the excitement of finding something that works and wanting to share that with everyone. However, I sometimes get the vibe from IEers that they've unlocked "THE" secret to happiness/weight loss/normal eating, and that the rest of us who are following typical "diet" plans are doomed to failure; I like reading the former, but the latter vibe can be a bit discouraging, that's all.

Hope you're not offended by my honesty. I just wanted to add another side to your comments about dieting being a "neverending tightrope" by sharing my experiences.

Yes... I ate a ton of fat. My app was constantly yelling at for eating too much fat.

I am glad it works so perfectly for you, but we are all different. I follow a low carb diet because I need to if j want to be successful, but I wouldn't tell anyone that they won't be hungry on it. Less hungry than other ways, but the reality is, if you are eating less than your body is burning, you will probably feel hungry.

Can someone explain what IE is please? I keep seeing it talked about but not familiar with the abbreviation lol

IE...intuitive eating. I think it's basically, eat when you're hungry and what you want but stop when you're full and don't eat if you aren't hungry. At least from my understanding.