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Old 04-02-2014, 03:23 PM   #46
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I agree with you... I think that it may be that people who "eat whatever they want" and are thin have a sort of natural discipline to their eating that they are simply unaware of, like how some people are gifted at math or sports. The rest of us have to be present and discerning. I am learning to stop eating before I'm full. There is nothing natural about this for me.
And I agree with you!

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Old 04-02-2014, 05:27 PM   #47
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This is my biggest fear. I am hoping that I have learned enough on this now 18 month journey to be able to maintain when I get "there".

Maybe we should start a thread for maintainers to share how long they have maintained and tips! :-)
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Old 04-02-2014, 05:36 PM   #48
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Yes well... I would have almost guaranteed I would never regain. I had myself all figured out. I knew what to do - how to eat, etc. Never figured that I could get off track. It happened. Never say never.
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Old 04-02-2014, 06:00 PM   #49
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I can relate, Melissa.

I struggled to get anywhere under 250 throughout high school and throughout most of my adulthood, but gained over an additional 100 pounds in the course of one year, when the relationship with my ex wasn't working and my father was dying. And at that weight, I found I could barely walk! I was always tired and sickly, and couldn't even find jeans at the plus sized stores large enough to fit me. It took me a good 6-8 years to work that additional 100+ pounds off and get back to my "normal" range of the 250's. I did manage to yo-yo throughout the 240's-250's for a couple of years before a whole new set of stress hit me in late 2011.

I received word that my cousin was dying out of state and that I needed to speak to my brother about some long-standing legal issues, however my car had broken down and we had to travel across the country for both issues. In the meantime I was also acting as a live-in sitter for my husband's boss, which is where we were staying when I found out I was pregnant for the first time! I was both excited and scared, as I'd been having a rough go of things and barely had the energy to even think about having a baby; I couldn't even bend over anymore. And before I knew it, my cat got extremely sick on Christmas and we had to put him to sleep the day after. But the real kicker happened two weeks later, when we traveled out of state to visit my mom's side of the family. I woke up bleeding in the middle of the night and ended up in a hospital hundreds of miles from home with a miscarriage. This all happened within a 2-month period(!), and in that short amount of time I gained about 30 pounds, undoing the years of struggling I did to stay under 250!

I knew my eating was out of control at the time but didn't really care; I'd simply fallen back on my old coping mechanism of eating to feel better, to escape, to numb the pain. But what the miscarriage told me was that I was exchanging that numbness for my health. Perhaps I had a similar moment that you recently did, the realization that I had to set things in order if I didn't want to keep spiraling out of control and end back up at my highest weight or worse! I took time to mourn, collect my thoughts, and make a plan. I set a specific date as my "reboot" and told myself that there was no going back. I unknowingly worked through depression and severe anxieties; I wish I would have known about the medication I'm currently on back then but wasn't diagnosed until this past January.

Anyway, it's now two years later and I'm over 60 pounds lighter, although I'd like to think I'd have lost much more if I hadn't gotten pregnant last year. I've since been blessed with a beautiful little boy and the maintenance break I took for the pregnancy was totally worth it! I got back on the weight loss train at the beginning of this year and am I'm currently at the lowest weight of my adulthood . . . not bad given that I'm 16 weeks postpartum.

I do have to stay conscious every day, and I think the key for many of us is to find a way to consistently do so . . . otherwise we'll slip back into those old habits. What works for me is using a weekly-planner as my health journal. I hand-write all of my meals, exercise, thoughts, milestones, and goals in it. Other people do great with apps or online methods. The point is that anything that helps you stay accountable will be an enormous help. Make that promise that you'll keep moving forward, even in those times that you slip be kind to yourself so you can get back on track ASAP. I can't say I'll never slip back . . . it's definitely happened to me before . . . all I can do is make a promise to myself to keep trying. That's all any of us can really do. And in my case, I've found that as long as I maintain my health journal, I stay conscious of my habits and continue to try. I suspect it's the same for you with writing your blog entries as well as your posts here, another reason it's so good to see you back online.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that you've got this; recognizing and admitting the problem is the hardest part! You've gone through the process before so you know what works and what you need to do. And you've got your hubby to help you pull through this! You've also got all of us here; you know we're all rooting for ya!

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I agree with you. I always thought that thin people ate whatever they wanted. That's true for some people but other people are disciplined in their approach. I think that it may be that people who "eat whatever they want" and are thin have a sort of natural discipline to their eating that they are simply unaware of, like how some people are gifted at math or sports. The rest of us have to be present and discerning. I am learning to stop eating before I'm full. There is nothing natural about this for me. I want to plow through to stuffed. There will never be a time when I can go back to the way I eat naturally. I am satisfied with that because I'm happy eating the way that I am now.
I agree as well!

I didn't make any substantial progress until I realized that I had to let go of my bitterness of not being able to eat whatever I wanted, and however much I wanted (which was an assumption I'd made about everyone else). I had my first *aha* moment when I witnessed my "naturally-thin" SIL only eat half a slice of some pie before putting it down and exclaiming something like, "It's sooo yummy, but too sweet for me, I couldn't possibly eat another bite." I envied her ability to do that (I could easily eat the whole pie in one sitting!) and wondered if anything would ever be too sweet for me. Figuring not, I thought I'd try to emulate that mindset regardless, which has taken years to adapt to and is still a work in progress. I still slip up a lot, and I don't think anything will ever be too sweet for me (regardless of how many simple carbs I cut out). I can't always trust myself in front of certain kinds of foods or even large amounts of food, so I've learned to set myself up for success in various ways, such as keeping trigger foods out of the house, always keeping prepped veggies always in the fridge, and having a "safe" list of items to order from any restaurants I may visit. I've chosen to be extraordinarily strict with regular soda; the only times I've chosen to have any in the past five years was to help settle my stomach when I had a bad case of the flu. It also helps to track my meals, which helps me continue to make better decisions (although I admittedly allow for indulgences and occasionally slip up).

I do miss being able to stuff myself with rich foods, and I don't think that urge will ever go away. I still talk myself through eating healthier and in smaller amounts. I've actually fallen in love with veggies & fruit and can truly savor them now, but they'll still never be as amazing as freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, deep-fried onion rings, cake with lots of buttercream frosting, pizza, or cheesecake. I still have all of those, but only in small amounts on rare occasion and only in controlled settings; otherwise I'll binge.

Anyway, to make a long story short, I'm at peace with having to stay mindful, even though for me it's far from natural. And I think being angry about having to change my habits for the better was my enemy all along.
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Old 04-02-2014, 07:30 PM   #50
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I didn't make any substantial progress until I realized that I had to let go of my bitterness of not being able to eat whatever I wanted, and however much I wanted (which was an assumption I'd made about everyone else). I had my first *aha* moment when I witnessed my "naturally-thin" SIL only eat half a slice of some pie before putting it down and exclaiming something like, "It's sooo yummy, but too sweet for me, I couldn't possibly eat another bite." I envied her ability to do that (I could easily eat the whole pie in one sitting!) and wondered if anything would ever be too sweet for me. Figuring not, I thought I'd try to emulate that mindset regardless, which has taken years to adapt to and is still a work in progress. I still slip up a lot, and I don't think anything will ever be too sweet for me (regardless of how many simple carbs I cut out).
That "aha" moment you describe is something I've believed since day one. I've never assumed that other people could eat whatever they wanted and stay slim (unless they simply didn't want to each much). I always intuited that "naturally thin" people aren't drawn to overeating the way I am. Unlike me, they find excessive sweetness or fullness physically distasteful. My own capacity for overeating sweets astounds even me. I can eat 3,000 calories of sweet stuff in one short sitting. I obviously don't do this anymore, except once every few months, but the capacity is still there.

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Old 04-03-2014, 12:43 PM   #51
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I have come to terms with the fact that I can never eat the way I did before and luckily doing SB has changed my tastes enough that I am content with the foods I do get to eat. I pretty much eat every couple of hours so the hunger doesn't get me.

I do still have certain foods that I know I have to be very careful with. My hubby made SB friendly cookies and portion control kind of went out the window for awhile. I found myself clicking into the "if I eat all these they won't be around to tempt me anymore" thinking. Did manage to stop myself after 6. Or was it 8? I am always worried about regaining.
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Old 04-03-2014, 12:48 PM   #52
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That "aha" moment you describe is something I've believed since day one. I've never assumed that other people could eat whatever they wanted and stay slim (unless they simply didn't want to each much). I always intuited that "naturally thin" people aren't drawn to overeating the way I am. Unlike me, they find excessive sweetness or fullness physically distasteful. My own capacity for overeating sweets astounds even me. I can eat 3,000 calories of sweet stuff in one short sitting. I obviously don't do this anymore, except once every few months, but the capacity is still there.

F.
I wish I hadn't been so oblivious/delusional about myself. I think I felt whatever I was doing was "normal," even though I started binging in secret as a kid. It's possible I actually believed whatever I ate in secret "didn't count!" Who knows. Perhaps my brain was simply looking for ways to justify my habits; I now understand better that they were often triggered by my anxieties.

More recently, it became difficult to watch my husband literally eat 4 times the amount that I did when he weighed considerably less than me. I do know men have higher caloric needs than women, but he's the same height as me, so seriously . . . 4 times? I found I had to not only eat less than him, but smarter.

I've recently noticed members talking about "food memories" and having a taste for fine gourmet food in other threads. I sort of envy that, as my taste in food is very . . . how do I put it . . . cheap? I could totally live off processed crap and fast food and would enjoy every moment of it. Oh, who am I kidding, I did for how many years. And even now, I'd prefer a hot dog over a fine steak, or soda over a fine wine. Food is forgotten the moment I've finished it with rare exception, so it's a little odd to me that I've been so obsessed with eating for all of my life.
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Old 04-03-2014, 01:08 PM   #53
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@Freelance & Elladorine

I will never be able to go back to overeating without gaining weight. However, just because eating like a thin person doesn't come naturally doesn't mean it cannot be learned in my opinion and experience. Nowadays I am able to stop in the middle of a piece of pie and say that I've had enough. If there are donuts in the office kitchen or a bucket of ice cream in the freezer it doesn't really call to me like it used to. I eat mindfully and I pay attention to my body's signals. This is really hard and requires quite a bit of focus and mental energy. Eating that piece of pie is like reading a book for me- I have to really concentrate on how my body is feeling. At a certain point the pie stops tasting as good as it did and I have a subtle feeling of having had enough. This is supposed to get easier over time as it becomes a habit, but it does make me anxious because if I lose focus I can easily slip into a binge. But I'm only a month in.
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Old 04-03-2014, 01:36 PM   #54
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It's very difficult for me to stop eating when I still have food on my plate. But I am getting better at it and a lot of times now I will wrap things up as leftovers. My hubby usually dishes up the food and I'm working on his understanding that I don't need (or want) to eat the same size servings he does.
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Old 04-03-2014, 02:59 PM   #55
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I'm the same - I don't mind the urges because when I did indulge in the, it felt awesome, even if it is taboo to enjoy it so much looking back. I like that I have the best of both worlds now, having a body that I can wear my goal-clothes in and the memories of a giant jar of 750 gram Nutella every day. I would rather have that than some other struggles.
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Old 04-03-2014, 05:42 PM   #56
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I think that it may be that people who "eat whatever they want" and are thin have a sort of natural discipline to their eating that they are simply unaware of, like how some people are gifted at math or sports. The rest of us have to be present and discerning

Absolutely agree. I used to be quite embarrassed over my love for food, especially since my husband is one of those "naturally thin"--or should I say "naturally restrained"---eaters who has never had a weight problem. A few years back, though, I was reading a book titled The Rules of Normal Eating, and the author pointed out that those of us who struggle with our weight often have undeserved admiration for those who seem to be able to effortlessly maintain a healthy weight while eating what they want. She pointed out, though, that those "naturally thin" eaters simply have a better internal barometer of their fullness/satiety level, but that those same people may be very poor at handling finances or may be lousy at picking up on social cues or may be poor at time management or a myriad of other issues. In other words, some of us may be great at something like managing money, something that may be incredibly difficult for other people. That helped me to put my struggle to eat moderately into perspective and become less embarrassed about it.
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Old 04-03-2014, 05:49 PM   #57
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Elladorine, you've been through so much, and I am so glad that your story has a happy ending !

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I didn't make any substantial progress until I realized that I had to let go of my bitterness of not being able to eat whatever I wanted, and however much I wanted (which was an assumption I'd made about everyone else). I had my first *aha* moment when I witnessed my "naturally-thin" SIL only eat half a slice of some pie before putting it down and exclaiming something like, "It's sooo yummy, but too sweet for me, I couldn't possibly eat another bite." I envied her ability to do that (I could easily eat the whole pie in one sitting!) and wondered if anything would ever be too sweet for me. . . . I don't think anything will ever be too sweet for me (regardless of how many simple carbs I cut out). . . .
I don't think that urge will ever go away. I still talk myself through eating healthier and in smaller amounts. I've actually fallen in love with veggies & fruit and can truly savor them now, but they'll still never be as amazing as freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, deep-fried onion rings, cake with lots of buttercream frosting, pizza, or cheesecake.
This is me! I somehow still get annoyed when my husband or another thin person says that something is "too rich" or "too sweet." I've sometimes wondered whether my tastebuds are defective or something---i.e., not as sensitive as other people's. I say that because I enjoy food with STRONG flavors.
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Old 04-03-2014, 05:52 PM   #58
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I know it's that I dont' have an "off" switch for food. My mother in law may LOVE a dessert. But she'll eat one small piece the first day and none the next. My husband will take one small nibble of chocolate.

They just have this restraint. Me? NOPE!!!!

And while I LOVE gourmet foods. I'm like you Elladorine - I got fat on junk, cheap food because they taste GREAT.
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Old 04-03-2014, 05:53 PM   #59
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I've recently noticed members talking about "food memories" and having a taste for fine gourmet food in other threads.
Yeah, that would be me. I have vivid memories of eating experiences and have gravitated toward gourmet and exotic foods from a very young age. At age three I knew a dozen French cheeses by name and loved them all. (I was raised by Europeans.) When I say I can eat 3,000 cals of sweets in one sitting, I mean stuff like Viennese pastries, Belgian chocolate, creme brulee, etc. A binge of Oreos, Twinkies and Lays potato chips holds no appeal at all to me (though some of the gourmet foods I covet may be equally unhealthy).

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Old 04-03-2014, 05:59 PM   #60
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This is me! I somehow still get annoyed when my husband or another thin person says that something is "too rich" or "too sweet." I've sometimes wondered whether my tastebuds are defective or something---i.e., not as sensitive as other people's. I say that because I enjoy food with STRONG flavors.
Same here, as you know. The stronger, hotter (spice-wise) and hotter (temperature-wise), the better. It's obviously difficult to prove, but I don't believe it's a matter of muted taste buds as much as an attraction to strong, somewhat harsh sensations.

For example, my daughter hates carbonated beverages (even soda water, so it can't be a matter of taste) and she also dislikes spicy food. My son loves both. I don't think the pairings are coincidental.

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