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"My friends eat whatever, don't exercise, and are thin!" Well, not exactly.

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Old 03-25-2012, 02:40 PM   #1
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Red face "My friends eat whatever, don't exercise, and are thin!" Well, not exactly.

Ever since I began this weight loss journey, I've had PLENTY of jealous, angry, irrational moments where I'd glare at my skinny friends who are about to leave for happy hour while I'm putting my gym shoes on about to go to the gym. It always seemed like they eat whatever, they never go to the gym, they party all the time, yet they are STILL thinner than me.

Until now. I seriously had a revelation. I'm sitting here on my bed in my apartment about to polish off a whole box of Wheat Thins, while my roommate just had a smoothie for lunch and probably won't be hungry until a small dinner, and then bed.

THAT'S why my friends are skinnier than me. Because they don't sit here constantly snacking and overeating and thinking about food. They don't even NEED to workout, and they can have drinks all the time because they are taking in a low amount of food calories every day, so they stay thin.

Why am I just realizing this now? lol
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Old 03-25-2012, 02:43 PM   #2
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I couldn't have put it better myself! The only problem is, I think the realisation of their true eating habits makes me want to be like them even more than when I thought they ate whatever all of the time. It's the control and not needing to obsess I crave now. I don't want to be able to eat everything all the time, I want to stop wanting to!
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Old 03-25-2012, 02:45 PM   #3
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I think part of it is because it makes us feel less accountable for our weight. I always though 'ehh its harder for me my metabolism sux" and it makes it seem like putting in the effort to lose just wasn't for me-easier just to continue my ways.

Also, my thin friends say they eat what they want-and its totally true-but what they want to eat is not what I want to eat. I cant imagine only wanting 1 slice of pizza, or not wanting a ton of ice cream after going out to eat-to me that is eating what I want without a care about health and weight so I think int he back of my mind I thought everyone else had the same standard too LOL
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Old 03-25-2012, 04:09 PM   #4
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You are so right! My skinny friend and I went out to the park for a picnic and I asked her how many egg salad sandwiches she wanted and she was like "SandwichES????Only 1" kind of made me realize how off my views were... she brought fruit &keeps veggies instead if eating an extra sandwich.
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Old 03-25-2012, 05:42 PM   #5
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My younger sister is very much this way. She is 5'2" and probably weighs in the neighborhood of 105-110. She has a small frame and is very thin, always has been. We used to joke she got all the skinny genes in the family. Many people who know her think she also hit the metabolism jackpot because she can and has out-eaten grown men. However, she will have 3 or 4 days of very light eating in between days when she has a huge meal. She also exercises like crazy (in a healthy way). She has been an avid runner for years, she walks, does zumba, etc. She may appear to be a tiny, thin person that can eat and eat without a second thought, they generally don't see the whole picture.
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Old 03-25-2012, 06:23 PM   #6
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EXACTLY!! Like it's just easier for us to point fingers and be like, "Oh my gosh they are SO lucky that they are skinny." But in all reality, they are skinny for a reason. They don't have McDonalds for breakfast lunch and dinner 7 days a week like how we'd like to imagine.
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Old 03-25-2012, 08:04 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GotothegymOKAY View Post
I seriously had a revelation. I'm sitting here on my bed in my apartment about to polish off a whole box of Wheat Thins, while my roommate just had a smoothie for lunch and probably won't be hungry until a small dinner, and then bed.

THAT'S why my friends are skinnier than me. Because they don't sit here constantly snacking and overeating and thinking about food. They don't even NEED to workout, and they can have drinks all the time because they are taking in a low amount of food calories every day, so they stay thin.

Why am I just realizing this now? lol

I totally, completely, absolutely, 100% agree. People's metabolisms don't differ THAT much. After all, our bodies all have to do the same thing -- keep our hearts beating, blood circulating, lungs pumping, etc. -- and the same biochemical processes are involved for all of us.

Time and again I've observed that people who can "eat what they want" and stay thin... don't WANT to eat as much as we (i.e., people on this board) do. And they naturally (or deliberately) compensate for days when they eat or drink to excess.

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Old 03-25-2012, 08:05 PM   #8
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This is pretty much how I eat now, tbh. I do eat whatever I want, don't count calories, carbs, or anything. I don't plan meals or eat by the clock. I eat when I'm hungry and stop when I'm full. Hunger (normal, moderate hunger, not "omg I'm starving!") is my friend, not something I avoid.

Stopping when full/satisfied seems to mean different things to thin people vs. overweight people. The real meaning of it is stopping when the hunger signals that originally led you to eat, disappear. You'd be surprised at how little food that actually takes. So yeah, you can eat whatever you want and remain slim for life. Sadly, in our culture, most people are out of touch with their natural signals or eat by external forces. To me it's akin to someone telling me when to go to the bathroom even when I don't have the urge.

My problem was binge eating. But now that that's gone for good and I'm recovered my body is settling back to where it was.
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Old 03-25-2012, 10:31 PM   #9
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Not all thin folks have the same eating and weight habits, and neither do all fat folks.

In my own family, growing up, we ran the gamut (and I suspect a strong genetic component because my brother and I (who are adopted) had very different eating/weight patterns than everyone else in the family. Our sisters (parents bio-kids) are more like our parents.

My brother ate constantly but was very thin and had a hard time putting on weight (despite eating a huge mixing bowl of cereal just for breakfast and a few more bowls as snacks, in addition to a large dinner). He also had what would have been diagnosed as ADHD, and was constantly in motion.

My father also ate huge amounts at meals and for snacks (his idea of a typical evening snack was a sleeve of oreos and a pint or more of icecream). He had a strenuous job, and stayed very thin until retirement (at which point he stopped telling my mother and I "how easy" weight loss should be. He started complaining "I'm giving everything up and still not losing weight." And he was giving up his evening snack and his second and third helpings at dinner.

My maternal grandmother barely ate at all, and still couldn't lose the weight she had gained in middle age (she had metabolic and severe health issues that made her virtually immobile, including emphysema, diabetes, heart problems, and thyroid problems).

My paternal grandmother also barely ate, but she was skeletally slender.

My mother and one sister are following the maternal pattern of eating an average amount and being of healthy weight until 30's. Now that formerly thin sister is struggling to lose weight.

Another sister is following Dad's pattern of being thin, fit, and naturally active. If she continues to follow Dad's pattern, she won't have to worry about weight gain until middle-age, and she'll eventually get that under control (It took Dad a while to grasp that he had to eat A LOT less than when he was working, but he did get the weight off fairly quickly - it just wasn't as easy as he expected).

I've been morbidly obese and food-obsessed from early childhood. No one in my family has food or weight issues as early or as severe as mine. I'm the only person in the family to have been overweight in childhood and early adulthood. IT does make me wonder what weight/food habits bio-parents had.


I think one of the reasons I "failed" so often at weight loss, is because I did believe that weight loss was a one-size-fits-all endeavor. I just had to eat less and move more, but I couldn't figure out why I wasn't able to accomplish that. Why I felt like I was starving to death, even when eating insane amounts of food (unlike my grandmother, I cannot blame a slow metabolism. I had a humongous appetite and ate like my father and younger brother - but I didn't have the metabolism to support it like they did).

I have learned that low-carb eating drastically reduces what I called "rabid hunger," that feeling of "starving to death," even when my stomach was full.

Unfortunately I discovered the "magic" of low-carb eating and controlling rabid menstrual hunger with the right bc, after my metabolism had taken a nose dive (for a lot of reasons, including health issues and the difficulty in exercising).

The calorie level I'm currently on (and barely losing 2 to 4 lbs per month) is a calorie level that in my twenties and early thirties would routinely (not just the first weeks) result in losses of 5 to 8 lbs PER WEEK.

Most of my life, I've tried very hard to lose weight, I just could gain weight a lot faster than I could lose it. If I had known that I could manipulate my hunger (by carb levels and birth control meds), losing weight would have been a breeze. I'm astonished at how much of a difference it makes. Too bad I discovered the "secret" after my metabolism tanked with middle age and health problems.

I am seeing some indications that my metabolism is rebounding at least a little bit (the more weight I lose, the more exercise and activity I'm able to do, which increases the calories I can burn).

But it all boils down to finding what works for me, and not comparing myself to anyone else, thin or fat. I have to deal with my hunger and metabolism, I don't get to choose someone else's.
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Last edited by kaplods : 03-26-2012 at 03:10 PM.
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Old 03-25-2012, 10:39 PM   #10
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Kaplods, can you write a book? Because I would totally buy it ))
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Old 03-25-2012, 11:13 PM   #11
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TOTALLY agree.. it took me a while to realize this too. Now I eat like a thin person.
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Old 03-26-2012, 12:41 AM   #12
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Unfortunately everyone is different and everyone is going to be able to eat differently or work out more or less. I have friends who have always been very thin and eat more than I do, but I also have friends who only eat bitty meals so they don't have to work out because they hate it. Some days I eat a lot and other days I don't eat much at all. It depends on the day really, but it doesn't do me any favors that's for sure. (Actually, beer doesn't do me any favors).
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Old 03-26-2012, 02:02 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GotothegymOKAY View Post
Ever since I began this weight loss journey, I've had PLENTY of jealous, angry, irrational moments where I'd glare at my skinny friends who are about to leave for happy hour while I'm putting my gym shoes on about to go to the gym. It always seemed like they eat whatever, they never go to the gym, they party all the time, yet they are STILL thinner than me.
I just wanted to add, although this is going to sound like a total old fart thing to say, that it is not just the weight which will matter in the long run when you are in your 40s like me or later but the fact that YOU ARE EXERCISING and are building good habits for your health, and some knowledge of nutrition and good foods (I hope). When I look at pictures of my high school and college peers who were skinny/athletes, or colleagues of my same age or older, it's clearly the good habits, not natural skinniness, which wins out. After your mid-30s, all that beer and poor food catches up with most everybody, and lots of people then don't have the time/energy/knowledge to deal with it.
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Old 03-26-2012, 06:36 AM   #14
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I think some people are just lucky in that they have a naturally moderate approach toward food. Food for them has always been just, well, food. They don't sit there all day dreaming about it or even thinking about it, except in passing.

OT: I was raised in a home where food was used as a punishment and as a reward. Big mistake. Food should never be used to punish children; that view of food will persist well into adulthood. It certainly did for me.
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Old 03-26-2012, 06:57 AM   #15
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Kaplods, can you write a book? Because I would totally buy it ))
I second this. I sometimes think, "Wow, I should be actively losing weight. Hold on, I haven't gained weight. That counts for something." That sort of thoughts always makes me think of Kaplods because I think she mentioned that she may be losing slowly but it's better than gaining (if I remember it right).
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