I'm a binger, but I think this applies to all of us, even the non-bingers.
How do you deal with the "apathy switch" - meaning, you're doing great, eating well, staying within your calories/WW points/whatever - and then a trigger hits. Maybe you just think of ice cream and all of a sudden, you want it, you want it really badly. Perhaps someone walks into the office with birthday cake and then you begin obesessing over it. For me, I sometimes experience something that I can only describe as a "switch being flipped" where I go from strength/resolve NOT to eat something I shouldn't to simply not caring.
I had a great day yesterday. I'm on WW, so I was totally within my points, went to the gym and had my work-out and left myself a few points in the evening to have a snack. I was feeling confident as I walked in the door. On the counter was the mail my husband had gotten, he wasn't home (he went to a neighbor's house) and I see a package sitting there. I see it is addressed to me and I open it. It is a thank you gift from a co-worker (very nice!) - BUT - it's a frosted sugar cookie. Now...in and of itself, that cookie would've only put me over on points by a couple - so I eat it. Yum. But then, I started thinking of other food (that cookie was my trigger) and all of a sudden I just did not care about points, my weigh-in on Saturday, staying on program - none of it. I ended up eating 2 full cups of Kashi GoLean cereal (pretty much the only "sweet thing" we have in the house) and then I made a big bowl of popcorn and I also ate two string cheese. As I was eating, I knew it would blow my progress for the week, but I just didn't care. I even knew in that moment that I didn't care, I just wanted more food.
After the fact, of course, I felt terrible.
I feel like this is my last step to really being able to manage my binges - learning how to keep that apathy switch from turning on when I get triggered. I know I shouldn't have had that cookie, but I had a weak moment and I did.
Does any of this make sense? How do you deal with it?
In my case incidents like that are unavoidable. I haven't had a BINGE in a while (defined by secretly eating 5000 calories and making it an "event") but there are definitely moments where I'll eat more than I should and think "dammit, this was totally unnecessary, now I'll hate everything in the morning when I weigh myself."
I just pick myself and keep at it. I try not to place myself in triggerhappy situations too often. My weight fluctuates slightly and I'm ~5 lbs heavier than I wish I were, but when all is said and done I feel like this is a pretty good place to be. You've lost over 70 lbs and are approaching goal - I think whatever you're doing, you've been doing right a good percentage of the time!
I have been there, when it seems like the immediate gratification steamrolls the long term objective. "I just don't care" - of course this is a lie, but we do love to believe it.
I think it is not only the "apathy" thing, but anything we tell ourselves shows us how completely addicted to food we can be. The first bite is the deadliest.
One thing I found that really helped me get through the Girl Scout Cookie week at my house was - if I could hesitate long enough to realize that in 15 minutes, the taste of the cookie would be a memory - and the memory of a cookie I ate a year ago was just as satisfying as the memory of a cookie I ate just a few minutes ago - without the self loathing. Does that make any sense?
Anyway, the key is to hesitate, take a breath and not have the first bite. After that, I couldn't tell you what to do. Avoid the floodgates at all cost!
This is weird but one of the things that has kept me going this time around, is that i told a random acquaintance about my grand plan to lose weight, how i was going to lose 20 pounds but do it healthfully, etc. and we had a brief conversation about it. I really don't even care all that much what this person thinks of me, but every time i think about falling off the wagon, i think back to that conversation and how i'll seem like such a loser/fraud if i never lose the weight, when i made this big statement that i was going to lose weight. It's like you tell people all the time that you're going to lose weight, but then all of a sudden someone pays attention, and then you're like "oh **** i guess i really have to do it now!"
Aaarghh, it just happened to me, and it happened even after reading this thread. I can relate to that feeling of "I don't care" in the moment you are eating the stuff.
I have been feeling hungrier than usual for days. I never feel satisfied. I went to bed last night feeling so hungry, and I knew that I was going to be in trouble today. I tried to head it off with fruits and vegetables, but those don't satisfy when you're really really hungry. At least it doesn't help me. Then I tried just little mouthfuls of more satisfying but higher calorie stuff to see if I could turn off the craziness going on within me.
It was then that I spied the half-eaten bag of Kettle Potato chips. I had a few and walked away, thinking of Italiannie's comment upthread that discussed the danger of the first bite. "I can resist them", I thought. I left the room, but the thought of the taste of those chips kept haunting me. I went back and had a few more. Then a few more. I finally was able to stop the madness, but I am left with many more hours left in this day and only 186 calories left in my daily budget to eat.
Part of me does care about what I am doing when I am doing it, but the natural impulse to eat when hungry overrides the intellectual need to restrain our food intake for gratification down the road.
This is a long-winded way to say that I totally feel your pain, and wish I had more constructive advice, but at least you know you are not alone in dealing with this issue.
This - that moment when you think, "Stuff it! I don't even care!" - is what has ruined every previous weight loss attempt of mine. I'll be doing really well having lost 10-15 pounds and then the craving for pizza, chips or chocolate will overwhelm me and I come undone. But instead of doing the smart thing and hauling myself back on the wagon the next day, I just make another day of it. And then another. And another. And so on and so on until I've regained all of my weight and then some.
I think the important thing is to accept that these things happen. There are going to be days where you blow your calorie budget; where you just don't give a stuff about dieting; when no amount of 'healthy' food is enough to sate your cravings. If you're having one of those days, where you simply MUST have what you're craving, then have it. Better that than driving yourself nuts trying to ignore them. But when you go to sleep at night, leave that day behind and move forward. Keep going as if it never happened and the damage will be minimal. You're not going to have Crazy Craving days everyday; but when you do have them, deal with them calmly and guilt-free.
Fingers-crossed I haven't had one of those days yet but when I do I hope I'll be able to take my own advice!
This - that moment when you think, "Stuff it! I don't even care!" - is what has ruined every previous weight loss attempt of mine. I'll be doing really well having lost 10-15 pounds and then the craving for pizza, chips or chocolate will overwhelm me and I come undone. But instead of doing the smart thing and hauling myself back on the wagon the next day, I just make another day of it. And then another. And another. And so on and so on until I've regained all of my weight and then some.
I think the important thing is to accept that these things happen. There are going to be days where you blow your calorie budget; where you just don't give a stuff about dieting; when no amount of 'healthy' food is enough to sate your cravings. If you're having one of those days, where you simply MUST have what you're craving, then have it. Better that than driving yourself nuts trying to ignore them. But when you go to sleep at night, leave that day behind and move forward. Keep going as if it never happened and the damage will be minimal. You're not going to have Crazy Craving days everyday; but when you do have them, deal with them calmly and guilt-free.
Fingers-crossed I haven't had one of those days yet but when I do I hope I'll be able to take my own advice!
Think about the things we would eat on a daily basis before deciding to make a change. One day of eating like "the old days" is not that bad, especially if you can get back on the wagon the next day. I think sometimes we get a little "all or nothing" in our thinking when trying to control our food, when it is really a bit less clear cut than that. You made some great points in your post, Amy23. We don't get those crazy craving days every day, so when they come about we can't let them totally derail us, we just have to ride them out and hope the cravings are short lived.
Think about the things we would eat on a daily basis before deciding to make a change. One day of eating like "the old days" is not that bad, especially if you can get back on the wagon the next day. I think sometimes we get a little "all or nothing" in our thinking when trying to control our food, when it is really a bit less clear cut than that. You made some great points in your post, Amy23. We don't get those crazy craving days every day, so when they come about we can't let them totally derail us, we just have to ride them out and hope the cravings are short lived.
I completely agree. I think the "all or nothing" attitude is a recipe for failure. One day of less-than-perfect eating is not going to ruin all of your hard work. What will ruin it is if you allow guilt to make you feel like giving up - if you let that one day turn into ten. So have that day off and enjoy it!
if I could hesitate long enough to realize that in 15 minutes, the taste of the cookie would be a memory - and the memory of a cookie I ate a year ago was just as satisfying as the memory of a cookie I ate just a few minutes ago - without the self loathing. Does that make any sense?
Um, YES!!! That makes so much sense! I will need to remember this!!!
I never look back and think "Gosh, I'm so glad I ate that brownie, that was awesome!", I look back and think "I shouldn't have eaten that!". I have to keep this stuff in mind!!!
I have been in this situation more times than I can count and I have yet to find a way out of it. I lost 60 lbs and have gained back 40. I am so upset with myself, but I know what has happened and I am always giving myself an excuse...I am stressed, I will eat this cookie, candy, etc. today and get back on track tomorrow. Or I am already depressed and ice cream would makeme feel better, and I will get back on track on Monday. I am so upset with myself for letting it get to this point. I look in my closet every day and get frustrated.
The trick is to just get over it immediately and get back on plan. No one eats healthily every minute of every day. Not the people who weigh 110 pounds and certainly not us. The important thing to realize is that you just dust it off and get back on plan.
I think the failure to get back on plan is the problem - not the falling off for 20 minutes one time. Or 5 times. Or once a week. We're all trying to lose weight and get healthy. If this week we hold steady or gain a few ounces because one day for 20 minutes we were out of control - oh well! In the whole scheme of things, what harm was really done? It's getting back to healthy eating that's important.
We lose 75 and gain back 60 because we fail to see that we can slip up once and not do any real damage. It's when we allow the slip up to be a reason to stay off plan that messes us up. My daughter has never had a weight problem. She eats a healthy balanced diet most of the time. She works out at a Cross Fit gym (talk about tough workouts!) but on some days she eats like all the food in the world will be taken away as of that night. I don't know if there is a solution to the occasional binge after a trigger. Sheer willpower, perhaps. But just getting back to sensible eating is the answer, I think. One day can't undo months of good work unless we let it turn into day after day of the same.
We need to be hard on ourselves because we deserve to be healthy, but we also need to lighten up because we are, after all, just human.
This time around, as soon as I feel the pang of craving something, I say it aloud (no matter how ridiculous it sounds coming out). So like "OMG I want ice cream sooooooooooo bad!" "I would do anything for a piece of cake right now." Or whatever. For me, for some reason, hearing it aloud takes away part of its power. And then I DO NOT take a bite. No matter what.
My new rule (as I struggle to relose 20 of the pounds I lost last year) is that ANY splurge must fit into my plan OR be a very rare occasion where I'm allowing myself to go slightly off plan because of a very special event or circumstances beyond my control (like vacation--gotta do the best you can!). The only exception to this rule is if I have eaten everything I'm allowed for the day and I still have 2+ hours before bed AND I am genuinely hungry. And then I am only allowed to eat something boring and filling, like plain air popped popcorn or a dry piece of toast or a string cheese. And then I'm done. The feelings after the mini binges I used to struggle with just make me feel weak and out of control, so I counter that by being in ridiculous control of how I eat, especially when it comes to sweets and baked goods.
The "apathy" switch - advice needed!
