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Embarrassment rules my life...

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Old 02-05-2012, 01:11 PM   #1
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Cool Embarrassment rules my life...

Heyo, I am 22yr old woman at 5'6ft. I have sat around putting on the inches in the last two years. Being overweight was a result of, but now one of the causes, for my depression.

When I finally braved the scales a few months back I was 13.3st (185lbs).
I weighed myself a few weeks ago and I SO HAPPY to see that I was 12.13 (181lbs)
I weighed myself yesterday and I was 12.10!!! (178lbs)

My goal weight: 9.7 (133lbs). The lightest I have ever been is 9.10st and I could have used a slight fat shave then, but only by a little bit.

In all honesty ALL I did was say no to my uncle and the takeaways. I have tried for SO long to lose weight, but spent most of it dreaming in my chair. I have avoided a lot of contact, including relationships but there was an interview done by this really good looking but not so famous celebrity. I thought "if I ever wanna pull something like that then I gotta get my act together". LOL shallow but honest :'( I want to wear my old clothes, show off my legs and stomach. I wanna get horse riding again, skating etc. My embarrassment stops me from all of these things

I used to eat maybe 1 or 2 BIG bars of chocolate a DAY. Nutella is my savior; without this cocoa fix I might have binged like mad. Tea as well helps when I only have an hour until my next official snack or dinner. I go gym 2- 3 times a week, work permitting, but although I work hard on the step trainer I am still too embarrassed to run on the treadmill, especially when I am wedged between two pros going like the wind. I would love to run the streets and the parks. Currently I am ruled by my own self embarrassment. I have no idea how to overcome this, but am proud nonetheless of what I have so far accomplished ^^
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Old 02-05-2012, 02:08 PM   #2
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I know how you feel, but get out there and only worry about yourself Cuz before you know it, you'll feel so good about your accomplishment, it just won't matter. If you're already down to 178, you're on the right track, so you can get on that treadmill, listen to your music and lose more. I'm a big chocolate fan too during certain times of the month, I really like those fiber bars with chocolate in it and the fiber one brownie bars, they're like 90 calories. yummy! Great job on the loss so far!!
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Old 02-05-2012, 02:38 PM   #3
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I'm definitely the kind of person that feels self-conscious going to the gym. I have this weird notion that you have to be fit to join a gym. But my trainer mentioned to me one day that really unless you're looking to hook up no one is paying attention to anyone else at the gym. I don't know how true that really is but it helped me. I go early in the morning when its the least bit crowded and that helps. But now that I'm getting more familiar with everything it's becoming a routine. And I don't pay attention to those people around me and what they might be thinking.

I've been ashamed of how much weight I've gained and so I've been very secretive about my weight loss attempts. But now that I have diabetes and other things and I have to lose weight I've started becoming more open about it. And now that I'm becoming more open it doesn't quite have the embarrassment that I used to feel.

In the end keep moving forward and try to get past that self-conscious feeling. It really becomes easier when you do. Good Luck!
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Old 02-05-2012, 02:40 PM   #4
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Losing weight and rethinking body image is a long journey, and you are absolutely on your way.

Perhaps if you're too embarrassed to run on the streets, go out and walk briskly. Do something that pushes you a bit out of your comfort zone physically, but that will give you some confidence.

Once you have some of that self confidence you'll realize that others aren't looking at you the way you think they are. Most "pros" would probably cheer you on and encourage you. Those who do otherwise don't matter.

Keep taking those steps that make you feel good about yourself. You may never feel perfectly about yourself (few people do), but you are on the right track. Keep going!
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Old 02-05-2012, 02:43 PM   #5
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Everyone feels like that at one point or another, but when it comes down to it you just can't give a **** what everyone else thinks...especially strangers.

Don't let something like that hold you back. Live your life, lose the weight you want to lose without looking over your shoulder.
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Old 02-05-2012, 03:01 PM   #6
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First off congrats on the amazing loss. Even the smallest changes in our lifes can make a difference. Great job. Now go run ....I promise you, most of the people working out are not paying attention to anyone around them. I started at the gym at my highest of 350 pounds, and started running at 212-220(somewhere around there) Everyone at the gym is there for the same reason. To get fit. So go if you want to run, run. I actually horseback ride and just recently picked up rollerblading this past week. Your weight won't restrict you from either at this point.

Don't let your life be ruled by what your worried other people will think of you. Everyone is always going to have opnions. Ignore and just do your thing. You'll be alot happier and you'll pick up ALOT of hobbies they you'll love Again great job on the weight loss. Keep it up.
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Old 02-06-2012, 08:36 AM   #7
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Congrats on your progress!
I remember feeling exactly the same when I first started out in my weightloss journey at 260lbs. Now I am at the same weight as your starting weight and I couldn't feel more confident about going for a run/swim/going to the gym. I guess this is just perspective because I started out so much heavier.
Keep going with your weight loss and the confidence will come, I promise. Eventually you'll feel so much better in your body and that will just make you want to push more and enjoy your new healthy lifestyle without worrying about what others think (the reality is they really don't care).
Goodluck with the rest of your journey .
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