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Old 02-05-2012, 12:21 PM   #1
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Default Will I ever be able to accept that I might be losing weight

I'm definitely a glass half empty type of a person. I've just always been this way. I always focus on the negatives and not the positives. And I've started seeing a therapist who has pointed these things out to me. She's trying to get me to appreciate the little victories, but I struggle with that.

So I've been working with a trainer and nutritionist for the past 3 months, but I've only really taken it seriously starting late December. And I haven't seen too many changes on the scale. Over the course of 3 months I'm almost down about 10 pounds. And I'm so eager to get past the 10 pound mark, but I'm not there yet. However, people have been making a few comments to me. Good comments noticing differences, and for some reason I think that they're making it up to be nice. My neighbor said she noticed that I was looking a little smaller, and I thought, it must just be the shirt that I'm wearing that makes me look smaller. My trainer mentioned to me today that my workout pants are too big and that I should get a smaller size. She was really excited about it. But I just thought, oh they must have just stretched out.

Do/Did you ever have an issue accepting that you might be losing weight? I've weighed this much for so long that it seems impossible to me that I could lose weight. And I think I'm so obsessed with the numbers on the scale that I'm blocking out the other victories that I should be celebrating. I think it's partially because I don't feel any different. Or I don't feel like things are fitting looser. And maybe if I can lose more then I'll feel different. But I'm wondering if I'll find more excuses to not accept that all of my hard work might actually be paying off.

How can I feel good about the small changes that are happening and stop focusing on the long term goal?

Sweat Pea from Sucker Punch - "‎Who honors those we love with the very life we live? Who sends monsters to kill us, and at the same time sings that we'll never die? Who teaches us what's real, and how to laugh at lies? Who decides why we live, and what we'll die to defend? Who chains us, and who holds the key to set us free? It's you. You have all the weapons you need. Now fight!"
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Old 02-05-2012, 12:40 PM   #2
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When I lost 35 lbs a few years ago (155 to 120) I didn't feel any different emotionally. The only change to my mood/self-image/etc I felt happened when I upped my veggies and cut carbs/sugars when I started the diet. I felt great throughout the whole process of losing weight and exercising, but it was because of what my new diet did to my brain chemistry, I think, rather than as a response to my smaller, fitter body.
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Old 02-05-2012, 01:06 PM   #3
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People will often tell you that you won't lose weight unless you have a positive attitude and believe you can (that you'll sabotage yourself to create the self-fulfilling prophecy of failure).

That's a load of bull poo.

I've failed for so many years (when I DID have a positive attitude and believed I could succeed), that I was terrifieed of following my old pattern.

I've lost more than 100 lbs and at least half the way, I lost weight DESPITE myself. I had to prove myself wrong.

What I did have to do, was to disregard my belief, and just focus on the changes. For me, I was able to do this by telling myself that weight loss wasn't even my goal, so that it didn't matter if the weight came off - I was going to stick with the changes I had committed to because they were going to do other good things for me. I also committed to changes that were small and comfortable enough that I never felt that I was overhauling my life. When one small change became a habit, and just felt like a part of my normal life, I made another small change.

These 100 lbs, while more than I ever lost has also taken longer than any previous weight loss ever, but it's felt truly effortless.

If you stick with your changes, the weight loss will eventually sink it. Or maybe you'll never quite believe it, but it will have happened anyway.
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Old 02-05-2012, 01:08 PM   #4
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It wasn't until after I lost 30 lbs or so (the first time I lost weight) that I started to face the fact that I was really losing weight. Because then I started feeling better, clothes were getting looser and I had to buy new ones, things kept changing that I couldn't deny.

As time goes, you'll start to realise it especially when you can see it with your own eyes.

Right now I feel like I'm going through the opposite, I can't believe I'm back at the weight I started at in 2010, I don't feel that big. But nothing fits so I must be *that* big.

Lost weight in 2010, had a baby and lost it again, had another baby and now I'm back! My mini goal photos from when I first lost weight here:
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Old 02-05-2012, 01:26 PM   #5
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If I didn't know any better I would have thought I posted this.

Yeah, I was like that until I lost 10+ myself. Trust me, a 10 pound difference is noticeable, they're telling you they see a difference because there is one. I still question my pant size just like you do but what I try to do, personally, is not think about it. Don't look at the numbers, just keep going. I've never been the type of person who could weigh herself every day or even every week, the numbers just become too much to focus on. So instead I go by things like the fact that I'm working on using 15 pound weights for some exercises when I started out at 5/8lbs. Maybe try to shift your focus off of weight loss and numbers. Even though they are still meaningful to you, try to shift your attention to some other aspect.
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Old 02-06-2012, 10:24 AM   #6
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I've lost over 50 pounds and still don't quite get it. People make comments about my weight loss but I don't see it. I look in the mirror and still see the same old me. My jeans and shirts might be fitting a little differently but, like you, I justify that by saying they're old and stretched so of course they look a bit larger. Ugh!

My husband says that I have no real sense of how big I am - I'll look at someone on television who weighs over 600 pounds and say "that's what *I* look like" - and I truly believe it. When I see/hear they weigh twice what I do I'm confused about how I can look as though I weigh twice my weight.
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Old 02-06-2012, 02:23 PM   #7
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Those first pounds are the hardest to lose. Change isn't easy! If you stick with it, you'll continue to lose. When clothes are getting smaller and people are noticing, you're making positive changes! Way to go!
Eight months of lifting heavy things, moving my body, and learning to eat better =57.8 lbs gone! WOO HOO!!

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