Feeling depressed as ex-friend lost weight faster....

[Candeka]

I know it sounds petty, and I feel like a horrible person for even thinking it, but it always made me feel better knowing that my ex-friend wasn't losing weight. She is a very stuck-up horrible person (reason why we are not friends anymore). Even after not seeing or speaking to each other for 6 months, I'd find out that she was calling me fat or something stupid on Twitter, even though we were the same size! I thought she would have moved on, but clearly she hadn't. We share the same circle of friends, and I found out today that she has lost a lot of weight due to taking diet pills and throwing up...

I understand that how she lost weight is not healthy at all, but I'm still feeling really depressed about it and like I am some type of failure because now I'm still bigger then her, even tho I have lost some weight. I feel like some petty 12 year old, but I can't help it =( I haven't thought about her in a long time, and I wasn't losing weight to "win" or anything.. but finding out that someone who was so rude to you and calling you fat is not skinnier then you SUCKS! Sorry I had to vent!

[bargoo]

She might be losing, now but she will probably regain it plus more when she stops her unhealthy diet.

[luckymommy]

Yes! Slow and steady wins the race. No matter what, if someone is ugly on the inside, it shows through on the outside, regardless of their size/weight. Stay strong and ignore her completely.

[omgzitsmiranda]

How much did she lose & how fast?

[berryblondeboys]

Its hard when someone you trusted turns and craps on you. Of course, it's human nature to want them to suffer for their ways, so it bites when it seems they are doing better than you are. But... She might have lost a few pounds now, but you know that they we she did isn't sustainable and probably doesn't t look as nice as you will when you get there. A healthy weight loss definitely looks better.

[Daki]

She'll gain everything back (maybe and then some) and you'll be sittin' pretty at your goal =)

I understand that feeling though. My ex boyfriend use to tell me "not to kid" myself and that I've "gotten fat." Well you know what? We'll both be at the same wedding next month and I've lost almost 30 pounds. But him? He must have found my 30lbs and started suffering from a receding hairline and a bald spot. I'm feeling pretty smug about it. Just give your ex friend a few months, she's either going to keep damaging herself or she'll gain it back. And either way, you can pride yourself on knowing you did it the right way and you'll be able to keep it off without needing to vomit.

[Nadya]

That's natural, don't worry about it. Four years ago, I told my Gram that I wanted to work out at Curves to lose weight. My cousin heard about it and started putting Curves down saying it was a waste of money. Months later, I was down 30 pounds. Just so you can get an idea of how petty and immature she is...she was in her late 30's, I was 19, and she was picking on me...

She decided to lose weight herself after I had put weight back on and acted like she was the cat's meow the entire time. She was walking miles, severely limiting her calorie intake, etc. and dropped a bunch of weight. Years later, we're switching again - I'm down 14 pounds and she's back up higher than she ever was before she started.

I haven't said anything to her, I've always kept my mouth shut, but I'm definitely feeling pretty happy...

If she's losing it like my cousin did - cutting corners, going too fast, being unrealistic - she'll put it back on. Don't check her Twitter or anything else if possible and if friends are reporting back to you on what she's saying, ask them to stop because you don't need to hear it. She's a loser, don't waste your time. ^.^

[19Deltawifey]

My mom and my sister both took diet pills (phentermine (sp?). The both were losing several pounds a week and here I was only losing a pound and boy was I jealous lol. I ended up getting pregnant shortly there after and of course they were still losing and taking the pills. They both eventually stopped taking them and my sister gained back all the weight and my mom is struggling to maintain her weight loss. Since they are very dear to me I wish them well and would never want them to gain the weight back. During that time I realized that I can't compare my weight loss to others, it's way to stressful. My weight comes off slow no matter what I do and I've learned to just take my weight loss 1 pound at a time. I was very worried about their health while they were taking the pills and I was happy to see them stop because I didn't want them to end up with heart problems. My mom was telling me a couple of days ago that she was bad for eating a whole bag of M&M and she said it was a large bag. That's the downside of using appetite suppressants and I've taken them in the past only to be ravenous once I stopped. I'm proud of her for watching her calories now and doing it the good ole fashion way.

[shcirerf]

I do get what you are saying about how you feel.

But face it. This friend is an EX for a reason.

Un Twitter, Facebook, Email, Text, Phone number. Let it go. Unless you have to work with this ex friend or are related, drop it.

This person is not good for you, only because you are giving her the control.

Take it back!

[birdfeet]

Originally Posted by luckymommy

Yes! Slow and steady wins the race. No matter what, if someone is ugly on the inside, it shows through on the outside, regardless of their size/weight. Stay strong and ignore her completely.

I strongly agree with you. Losing weight doesn't make a better person inside,that good part is always there in those who have it to begin with.
Keep on trucken. Going slow,your weight stays off longer.

[birdfeet]

Originally Posted by Candeka

I know it sounds petty, and I feel like a horrible person for even thinking it, but it always made me feel better knowing that my ex-friend wasn't losing weight. She is a very stuck-up horrible person (reason why we are not friends anymore). Even after not seeing or speaking to each other for 6 months, I'd find out that she was calling me fat or something stupid on Twitter, even though we were the same size! I thought she would have moved on, but clearly she hadn't. We share the same circle of friends, and I found out today that she has lost a lot of weight due to taking diet pills and throwing up...

I understand that how she lost weight is not healthy at all, but I'm still feeling really depressed about it and like I am some type of failure because now I'm still bigger then her, even tho I have lost some weight. I feel like some petty 12 year old, but I can't help it =( I haven't thought about her in a long time, and I wasn't losing weight to "win" or anything.. but finding out that someone who was so rude to you and calling you fat is not skinnier then you SUCKS! Sorry I had to vent!

IT IS OK TO VENT. jUST KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK ON YOURSELF AND STOP THINKING OF HER.

[Who]

You're doing it the right way.
Don't get depressed over this.
She may be losing weight fast but you know she's struggling inside to resort to such unhealthy methods to lose weight.
You're more likely to keep the weight of if you're losing weight steadily.

[Isis21]

I feel ya, Its hard to see people succeed where we seem to be falling short. I had a ex friend lose 60lbs and although she looked amazing I was jealous because I didn't think I would be able to do what she did. It was hard but I stopped all contact with her because seeing her success only made me feel worse.

You said she was losing weight in a unhealthy way, then be proud of yourself and try looking at it this way. You are losing weight the healthy way, the proper way, in order for her to do what you are she had to resort to doing it in the unhealthy way. Plus she will probably gain it all back and more when she starts eating regularly again.

[twinieten]

Keep up the good work!!

I'm going to parrot everyone else. She will never be able to maintain if her weight loss is done by using unhealthy means. You'll get there and you'll look so hot because you're doing it right. Then you'll stay there. She'll gain it back.

Realistically, you probably already look better than her. People who lose weight too fast or by using unhealthy methods look sick. They don't look well at all!!

It sounds like you can only limit her from your life, but you can't eliminate her completely. I would ask mutual friends, or those in your life who are "filling you in" on what she says about you on Twitter or wherever, to please stop. You getting this information does not appear to be benefiting you in any way. It's upsetting you. It's not like you're friends and she's throwing you under the bus. You've already removed her from your life. Therefore, what she says about you doesn't' really matter. You already know who she is.

I don't know why you matter to her anyways. If you're not friends anymore, why does she mention you at all? She must be jealous of you or intimidated by you.

[linJber]

It's not petty to feel like you do - it's human nature. Just keep thinking about how great it will feel to prove everyone wrong (talk about "petty!") and know that you're making healthy life style changes. It's going to work for you in the short term and in the long term, too. That's worth more than anything. Keep up the good work.

Lin