Feeling depressed as ex-friend lost weight faster....

WildThings · 01-28-2012, 09:53 AM

I'm sorry you're feeling depressed. It's hard to not only have someone say hurtful things, but also get what you want...especially when they haven't put in the work to get it like you are.

I will say, if I was friends with someone, or even around someone that was openly making fun of someone for there weight, especially being as immature and petty as putting it out on social medias, my opinion of her wouldn't be very high. I'm sure many in your circle of friends feel the same way. She's hoping to get a reaction from you, the best thing you can do is not give her what she wants. Just ignore her and continue to let her make herself look bad.

knoxie · 01-28-2012, 10:17 AM

I completely understand how you feel but she is setting herself up for a fall and a wealth of medical issues in the way she has chosen to lose weight. You're doing it the right way and that's something to be proud of. So what if her weight is coming off quicker? Getting to goal is only part of the journey.

sacha · 01-28-2012, 10:21 AM

This is just me,

But I would forgive her for being at such a low point in life (feeling the need to insult others, having an obvious eating disorder) and then move on. There's no sense in harboring ill will against someone who is not a good person.

I would also consider a new circle of friends. I'm not sure why you continue to participate with people who allow her to speak of you in this manner or tell you these hurtful things.

Bellamack · 01-28-2012, 10:30 AM

Echo of much written, esp. it is "normal" to feel that way. I will tell you that several years ago, I read something that changed the way I thought about people like your "X". I was having a hard time with a totally immature, underqualified boss and I was reading all different self-help books and one thing stood out. Basically, it said when you look in the mirror in the morning, be thankful you are who you are and say out-loud " I am thankful I am not ______! So that is what I do. You need to look in the mirror and say I am so thankful that I am not "X's" name, I am losing weight in a healthy manner and I am a kinder person" I also (when I know I have a tough day ahead of me) get up and sing or play Carol King's "You.ve Got to get up every morning with a smile on your face and show the World all the love in your heart, 'cause people gonna treat ya better.............

kirsteng · 01-28-2012, 10:31 AM

Sounds like a very toxic relationship to me. This is not an 'ex friend'.. sounds more like an enemy if ever there was one.

You're wasting your time and energy worrying about what she thinks and says. Her path is hers, for good or bad, and yours is yours.

Hold you head high and do what YOU feel in your heart to be right, both in what you do and what you say.

And let's face it, at your weight you're far from fat.. I bet you look pretty great already. Be proud of yourself for your own successes, don't measure yourself against someone else.

JudgeDread · 01-28-2012, 12:50 PM

It's natural to be jealous no doubt...especially when you don't like them haha!

But I agree with everyone else, she will gain it back. Just keep doing what you are doing and you will be better off the rest of your life. You're doing this for YOU not to win against her.

Italiannie · 01-28-2012, 12:56 PM

You have every right to feel the way you do. Betrayal is no fun. So..... keep that "X" friend firmly planted in the past, surround yourself with wonderful people who care about you, stay on plan, and be positive.

Living well will be the best satisfaction you will ever have.

Candeka · 01-28-2012, 06:37 PM

Thank you everyone for all of your comments and advice! It helped a lot!

Petite Powerhouse · 01-29-2012, 05:21 PM

Do you actually know for certain she lost weight that way, or are people just repeating toxic rumors? I don't know.... The whole thing—talking about what this or that person is doing behind her back—sounds ugly and unhealthy to me. Ignore it all. She's not a friend anymore. What she has to say should not matter. And her weight loss should not matter. It's time for you to focus on you. That's how you'll meet your goal and stay there.

naffy · 01-29-2012, 06:58 PM

i understand how you feel, some girls can be disgustingly immature and mean. but if you think about it, she's losing weight by throwing up. she's going to ruin her health along with her teeth and what not. you're doing it the healthy way! and it's not like you haven't seen results. So, if you ever run into her at a restaurant... know that you're getting your money's worth, but her's will end up being thrown up.

i'm normally sensitive to girls with eating disorders, but she sounds like a total b!tch, so AH WELL.

hope this cheered you up a bit! hugs*

chubbybunny29 · 01-29-2012, 09:47 PM

I can understand that. I have a former friend who always acted superior to me because she's about a size 10 and I'm a 20 (or was when we hung out). But I began to realize she was that thin because she was addicted to oppiate pain killers (ie morpheine) so her appetite was artificially low(somedays she'd have nothing but a smoothie), and bulemic. So she'd occasionally binge and have a huge meal, and I always knew she was going to vomit it up before we even left the restaurant. She made me feel bad about myself many times, and I always knew she judged me for my weight issues.

For reasons having to do with other elements of her personality, we're not friends anymore. Even though I'm only working on my first mini-goal right now, I feel like I'm healthier being 260lbs and eating well and exercising, than she is at 150lbs with a dysfunctional relationship with food.

Skittlez · 01-30-2012, 01:21 PM

I so understand where you're coming from. I have an ex friend who is literally crazy. Pathological liar, ect. This friend lost like 130 pounds after we stopped being friends. But the thing is I doubt he lost it in a healthy way, and I know for a fact that he's NOT healthy right now. He's way underweight for his height and has a super low bodyfat precentage (I only know this because we reconnected for a bit, I'm too forgiving and he ended the friendship again because he's a terrible person basically >.>). So I feel bad that I'm not as far along as I'd like to be, but I'm happy that I'm trying to lose in a healthy way. He'll eventualy gain it back or starve himself into the grave, so I just try not to focus on it or other toxic people. Hang in there, it's human to be jealous. But do your best not to focus on it, and move on

aliasihaya · 01-30-2012, 05:16 PM

I understand. And I know you're venting. Obviously there are many opinions posted here about this.

But like they've all said, take it for what it's worth that you're doing things the right way. And in the end you'll win out. Doesn't ever really help in the short term does it?