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Can't see the new body EVERYONE else sees!

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Old 01-23-2012, 11:58 PM   #1
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Default Can't see the new body EVERYONE else sees!

I see myself as bigger than I really am...why can't my brain catch up to reality? So, I am okay with weighing between 125 and 130lbs; at 126lbs I even went up a few pounds to get back to 130 which made me fit comfortably in the clothes I have had to buy since my weight loss and my face also looks better at that weight. My current goal is to stay at 130lb because at 5ft 4" I think that given my frame being a size 4 is fine.

Tonight however, I realized that a family member who is 3 inches shorter and a petite frame, weighs more and is larger in inches around the bust, waist and hips. This shocked me because I see myself as being bigger which made me question how on earth can I still think I am bigger even though I KNOW I have smaller stats? My fiance keeps telling me how small I am (he met me after the weight loss), however, when he tries to lift me, I protest because I am so used to being the heavy one (heavy being relative to my sister)- this was my second clue that in some respect, my brain has not caught up to speed with the weight loss.

Last week I told my loving mom how her words had the potential to hurt me growing up and now that I think on it, did! She always (along with others) commented on how I was eating all the food and leaving none for my sister- so not true. I also grew hearing how big my thighs and calves were in comparison to others. This was never an intentional dart she threw my way but until today, I never realized that although I never responded by binge eating or starving myself, the thoughts are stuck in my head and the damage seems to be as real as if I had picked up any of the aforementioned habits.

I told my mom that if I was not a strong personality, I would have developed an eating disorder a long time ago. And even though it felt good at the time to say so, I realize now that I probably did develop body image issues. I have learnt to love what I have now (you should see the new cute outfits), but yet, just beyond the reaches of my conscious mind, however I just cannot see me as SMALL- not in the way people make such excited or surprised comments on. I wonder if I am making sense.....
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Old 01-24-2012, 12:52 AM   #2
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It makes perfect sense. It happens to most if not all people who lose a significant amount of weight.

Give it time. Your brain is catching up with the changes that happened. It'll take at least a few months.

Congrats!
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Old 01-24-2012, 08:10 AM   #3
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You were with your body everyday so the changes were minor and your brain took note and adapted to what you saw everyday so your reflection is what you expect. However, the mental assessment/perception may be far behind reality. I don't see terrible differences between how I looked after losing 20 pounds and after losing almost 20 more but when I visit family they have comments.
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Old 01-24-2012, 08:45 AM   #4
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Congrats on your weight loss!

I know how you feel. I have trouble seeing myself as small even though I could probably wear a freaking size 0 in some stores now (as it is I can wear things from the girls section!). My fiance picks me up with ease and I have memories of him struggling to do so. It's weird to see him just grab me and toss me in the air without breaking a sweat.

People I always saw as small are now bigger than me and I have a hard time processing that. I look at the pants I wear and sometimes still can't believe they fit me, because I'm convinced they're much too small. People call me skinny all the time and I'm always saying "I'm not skinny." I mean I hate that word, but I know they're using it as a compliment.

I think like previous posters said that our brains need time to adjust. In my case I was overweight for just about all my life. It's not like a few months at a normal weight can suddenly change a lifetime of being considered "big," I guess.
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Old 01-24-2012, 09:14 AM   #5
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yes, be very careful, I think that is my problem and why I put my weight back on after losing a significant amount. I never see the body other's see and I always see myself as a "fat" person even after I drop 30 or 40 pounds.

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Old 01-24-2012, 09:35 AM   #6
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Thanks guys...it is nice to know that this also happens to others because I was getting rather concerned about developing body image issues.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sontaikle View Post
... People call me skinny all the time and I'm always saying "I'm not skinny." I mean I hate that word, but I know they're using it as a compliment.
This is so true, and to the point where someone thought I was being insincere when I did not accept that I was skinny. Truthfully in my eyes, I am too curvy ever to be called skinny, but how do I change my terminology and outlook to simply say thanks when someone makes a comment instead of sounding trite (which is not the intention)? I open my mouth to say thanks and some explanation about why I do not classify as skinny comes out...
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Old 01-24-2012, 10:33 AM   #7
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I'm nowhere near my goal weight but I've lost over 50 pounds and people are starting to notice and make comments about my weight loss. My husband is always telling me how I'm getting thinner, etc. I just don't see it.

When I shop I automatically look to see if whatever item I'm looking at comes in the largest sizes and then I'm shocked when I try the largest sizes on and they're way too big.

I've been the fat girl my entire life and I suspect that my brain will struggle with that image no matter how much weight I eventually lose.
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Old 01-24-2012, 10:38 AM   #8
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I see it better in pictures than in a mirror.
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Old 01-24-2012, 10:52 AM   #9
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I think we all go through this. It's so hard to see the progress we have made because we are so accustom to what we have been looking in the mirror for so long! I had this issue this morning, I didn't see a difference at all but when I showed up to work a coworker told me how great I'm looking....HUH???? really???? I think that's why it's so important to take pictures and compare them to our "old" selves....try to see past the mirror and keep going by your clothing, inches and pics.
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Old 01-24-2012, 12:03 PM   #10
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OMG yes..the first time I saw it was on our vacation when my fiance took pictures and I COULD not believe that is how I looked...I see a sexy body in the mirror but not that small of a body. You are right...I went back and looked on our Christmas vacation pics and i can see it...now if only my mirror would stop lying to me! lol
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Old 01-24-2012, 01:53 PM   #11
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I understand as well, After losing 40+lbs I still see myself as the fat girl at 177. When I look in the mirror I still hate what I see, yet everyone else around me says I am so small. My mother will even go as far to call me "anorexia". I think we need to let our brain play catch up for a few months and then reevaluate what we think.
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