I have had a rough year. Both of my grandparents (only ones Iíve known, momís parents died before I was born) died this year. I have also lost 3 other family members and a family friend this year. Then, just when we think all is going to be ok for a while, my mom ends up in the hospital with pulmonary embolism (blood clots in the lungs). She almost died. Since then I have been having horrible dreams of her dying. It is very upsetting because I live 2 hours away. I missed my grandmother by 15 minutes, if something happened to my mom and I missed her like that I donít think I could stand it. Other than my husband my mom is my best friend, my emotional rock (and I am also her emotional rock). I think I would just curl up in a ball and die if I lost her. Also, both her and my dad are laid off (mom lost her job bc of being sick) right now. My dad got about $10,000 inheritance from his dad, but once that runs out, if they donít have jobs we may have to support them materially.
So anyway, I did ok emotionally while all of this was happening, but now it has all really hit me. Iíve been exercising, and that does help distract me, but I am exercising as much as I can without hurting myself. So, when I canít exercise and I think about everyone I have lost/almost lost this year I want to eat ďcomfortĒ food, and lots of it. I donít want to cook, I donít want to count calories, I just want to eat yummy food. Fortunately I havenít gained any of the 40 lbs I lost back, but I am stuck at 159. If this keeps going on, I will end up gaining. And after I eat off plan I feel so guilty.
What do you guys do during extremely stressful times to keep yourself from losing all control? How do you stay on track with weight loss when your whole world has pretty much fallen apart? Sometimes I feel like I just donít care about anything but feeling sorry for myself.
Sorry for the long post and thanks in advance for your advice.