[757MISTY]

UGH! I really really want to lose 30lbs! I feel this time is different because I'm actually excited about it. I dont really have a strategy yet except for starting turbo fire tomorrow. I know I have to change my eating habbits (mostly overeating) but its so hard when I have to cook for my family ever night. They are not on a diet and will not eat diet food! I also can not afford making myself something extra every night for dinner (diet food is expensive!) Anyone else have this problem? Any sugestions?

[sacha]

There are a few different ways to do this, and what strategy you take often depends on how you approach this journey.

For me, I cook a full proper meal (I use lots of butter, cream, salt, traditional French food) and only eat a very small portion, whereas my husband and toddler eat what they want. I eat very slow, drink water, and enjoy my small portion of rich food. I use a 3 bite rule for dessert if available. It works well for me.

For others, they either cook separate or make the family eat what they serve, period. Those options aren't pleasant for me so I don't do it.

After 8 years of maintaining, I am capable of proper portion control without counting. If you are new to this, you may need to take more control (ie. counting, strict portions etc) until you know how to eyeball well or feel comfortable enough to go without being strict.

[757MISTY]

Thanks for the advice. I know my portion are deff way to big! I swear my stomach is like the bottom less pit!

[sontaikle]

Originally Posted by 757MISTY

Thanks for the advice. I know my portion are deff way to big! I swear my stomach is like the bottom less pit!

You can trick yourself into feeling full by drinking lots of water and adding more veggies to your dishes. I love having a big portion of salad with dinner...but WATCH THE DRESSING! I have less than a tablespoon of dressing and find it to be just the little bit of flavor I need with the salad. My family generally doesn't eat salad, but it's no big deal to grab a bag and give myself some even if it wasn't part of the meal.

[sacha]

I thought that too, but then I realized (like many of us that overeat), is that we don't know actual hunger. There's more to this of course (ie. certain foods like processed crap can increase desire for more) but one day I just sat down and said....... "am I actually hungry? Is my stomach growing? Or am I eating because it's there. Because I am not 'stuffed'. Because I must eat it for X reason other than hunger"? Once I actually drank some water and said, "Am I actually experiencing hunger?" the answer was almost always no. I think a lot of people in North America forget what actual hunger is, because it doesn't have to exist for many of us.

I was watching a show on super obesity today (ie. 600+lbs people) and one of the doctors was talking about the psychological/physical urge to feel full as being a protective mechanism for "us" during all but the last 10,000 years of agriculture. This same urge is now biting us in the behind with the over availability of food *and* cultural/social compulsions to overeat (ie. clean your plate). This, and ingredients in processed foods themselves that promote this urge. Not many people binge on broccoli, do they?

You may find The End of Overeating by Kessler to be helpful. If you are new to this 'journey', I really suggest addressing the more deeper issues along with the daily practical ones such as cooking for a family. I've maintained my weight loss 8 years and really getting into the reasons for getting overweight n the first place was a key aspect.

Good luck!

[theox]

Originally Posted by Kara

The thing about losing weight healthily and keeping it off is, IMO, to not rely on "diet food". Also, I do think that if you eat something different from your family, you're winding up teaching your kids that being "on a diet" or losing weight is something that requires eating different food and being "isolated" from what the rest of your family is doing.

If you're the one in charge of making meals, you're already in a pretty cool position: you're responsible for choosing the food for your family, so you can choose healthy, yummy food and make it for everyone - including yourself. Then you can eat smaller portions, or less of some things.

Yes.

[sontaikle]

Originally Posted by Kara

The thing about losing weight healthily and keeping it off is, IMO, to not rely on "diet food". Also, I do think that if you eat something different from your family, you're winding up teaching your kids that being "on a diet" or losing weight is something that requires eating different food and being "isolated" from what the rest of your family is doing.

If you're the one in charge of making meals, you're already in a pretty cool position: you're responsible for choosing the food for your family, so you can choose healthy, yummy food and make it for everyone - including yourself. Then you can eat smaller portions, or less of some things.

I don't entirely agree with the eating different food part. I used to be a preschool teacher and I used the tactic of eating different food to actually get the children to try new things. Having something different can be a way to introduce children to healthy eating, but the important part is to make it available for them. At first they will probably refuse the food, but if they see a parent or teacher eating it they may want to have some.

At the preschool we never pressured the children to eat anything. They were allowed to choose what they wanted to eat and the teachers would sit with them, eat the same food and converse with the children. There were times when I would have a vegetable and the children would ask me "what's that?" or "does that taste yummy?" I would tell them what it is, tell them that it tasted good and ask if they wanted some (all the food we had was prepared by the kitchen). Many children were willing to try the food because their teacher was eating it. I never told them that it was "good" or "bad," or even that it was healthy. I was just eating it, and because I was eating it they wanted to eat it too.

I'm a resource room teacher now working with children much older, but I even use this tactic now if the children happen to see me eating or see my lunch or snack. I'll tell them what I'm having and that it tastes good. Sometimes they seem curious to try it (obviously I can't give them food, but I will tell them where they can find it should they want to ask their parents), other times they aren't. I never tell them what they think is good or bad or even if the food is considered good or bad.

I think the OP has an opportunity to cook healthier for her entire family which will benefit her as well.

[K9Owner]

I don't have children & have been at this since last April. It is just impossible to eat the things my hubby eats. He hates most veggies and loves Mexican and processed foods. We RARELY eat the same meals. He also isn't a fan of trying new food.

I don't really categorize food as "diet" or regular.
I, instead, categorize food this way:
* Foods that I love and usually eat.
* Foods that I love and seldom eat.
* Foods that I love and rarely eat.

The first group of foods are my staples: Greek yogurt, FF cheese omelets, Protein shakes, Cottage Cheese, Veggies, Salads, Lean Protein, & Nuts

The second group of foods are things that I keep at home that DH and I both like, but I know they are 1x/week or less for me. These include: Tortilla chips, dessert, Merlot, pizza, processed carbs, (cookies/cake/crackers etc).

The third group of foods are clearly things that I do love to eat, but I know eating off of this list will move me farther from my fitness goals. These include: Eating Out (anywhere) Fast Food or nice restaurants, fruity candy, Southern-Cooked vegetables, cornbread

By categorizing food this way, I never feel as though I am on a "diet". As a matter of fact, I'm not on a "diet".
There are foods and activities that promote my fitness goals and there are clearly ones that hinder it. My goal is to consciously choose each meal so that it fuels my body to promote strength to exercise.

As far as teaching your family you have to eat differently to "diet" and isolating yourself from the rest of your family, I think I disagree with this because each member of your family will not have the same fitness goals as you do.
I don't expect my 7 yr old nephew to eat what I eat when he visits, & I certainly will not eat the things he eats, as his metabolism is way different than mine. Also, from when you first have a baby, they drink milk, formula, and eat baby food and are unable to eat things adults eat for a couple of years.
Why do we expect them to eat like we do when they are adolescents?

[K9Owner]

Originally Posted by Kara

Do you really think the OP should cook completely different meals for every member of her family based on what they "like"?

No, I don't.

Originally Posted by Kara

I cook healthy food for the family - they either eat it or they don't - or they get up and fix their own.

Agreed

Originally Posted by Kara

Children learn what is healthy and what isn't by observing their parents and what they eat .. and eating what their parents give them. If their parents tell them they eating healthily means being different, eating differently from the rest of the family, or eating "diet food", then that, IMO, is a bad message to give.

Since I don't have children, I will refrain from commenting on this quote, although...I certainly do have an opinion.

[cfan]

Also, invest in frozen veggies. you can use one for the family with the rest of their food, and one for you. Depends on the size and stuff, but one 12 or so oz pack of frozen veggies takes up about 1/2 of a american dinner plate, and leaves you feeling fuller--add a portion protein and some other portions to round out the food groups,and I guarantee you'll feel full. I know I use to be a "bottomless pit" like you, I could eat almost a whole large pizza without blinking in one meal...now this past dinner I had a bag of veggies, some lean meatballs(about 3-5oz), and a tiny tiny (like about 3/4 cup or less)amount of egg noodles...and I had to 'force' myself to eat the noodles, having the veggies and meat fill me up. You will be surprised at how full you can get from veggies...I know I am.

[Justwant2Bhealthy]

Can you just make the same dishes and make them healthier? Maybe adding more veggies & a salad for you or whoever wants it. A salad can be as simple as sliced tomatoes, onions, and cukes; with romaine lettuce, or even a nice coleslaw.

I make the same dinner for my DH, or whoever is eating here: I just make it healthy as possible but tastey too. Tonight, a roasted chicken with veggies (carrots, broccoli, cauliflower) & baby potatoes; no complaints there.

On occasion, I make myself a steak & DH a pork chop in same pan and serve my dinner with salad too. I add either veggies and/or a rice dish, etc. Sometimes, I make a mushroom-veggie medley along with the meat; no complaints there.

Same if I make a roast beef or pork with sweet potatoes, turnip, celery, onions slices, or other favorite veggies, etc; no complaints there. I just choose lean meats.

We have one pasta dish a week, varying it each week; I use whole grain pasta with veggie-meat sauce (i.e. spagettini & meat balls); no complaints there. (I measure my serving 1 cup cooked pasta -- with sauce & 1-inch meatballs, it is very filling; put lots of diced veggies in the sauce so kiddies won't see it; or puree them).

We have fish at least once a week with salad (for me); along with veggies or other side dish (i.e. rice or baked tators). We vary this and have baked fish & chips with coleslaw; most families would like that, I think. Sometimes I have a few tators, other times I just eat the fish & salad (my choice).

One night a week we have something fun (usually Friday nights) like baked chicken wings; or a thin crust pizza with a salad (for me again; my Dh hates salad of any kind but will eat veggies); or a burger and salad (I have a chicken burger & my Dh a beef, but there's no problem to cook them at the same time); or a pot of chili, etc.

One night a week, I like to make a pot of stew or soup to use up leftovers; Dh loves that & so do I.

I love to make veggie pita pizzas for my lunch 1-2 times a week; Dh eats whatever he wants -- sandwiches or hot dogs or whatever; and he usually makes it too. When I make homemade soup; he always eats that. He makes his own breakfasts becuz he gets up hours before me.

Usually I make the dinner; I serve it and people eat what they want, as KARA says. I have won my DH over to healthier foods & dishes without much effort. I know it can be done with a little planning: be creative and find some really good recipes. Or, just take their favorites and make your own healthiest versions.

[ennay]

I make a meal based around what I want to eat. I add on some things for the family sometimes. They dont need to eat UNhealthy food ever. But sometimes I will skip eating the potatoes or the starch but the rest of the meal is the same. Sometimes I have a veggie and a salad and they just pick one of the two. Sometimes I have corn tortillas when they have flour. Nobody really notices. But make a whole separate meal? HECK NO.

And mommy is NEVER on a diet. Ever.

p.s. what IS "diet food" ? Eat food. They should eat food. Nobody should eat non-food.

[Arctic Mama]

It depends on how I am doing my plan. Right now, I am on an extremely restrictive elimination diet to deal with cravings, food allergies, and she'd a bunch of weight quickly. For this phase I am cooking two seperate meals. But otherwise? I make one meal that everyone from the 14 month old to the 33 year old has to eat, or they go hungry. If they refuse to even try a bite, it gets served again and again until it is gone (I'm a mean mom like that ).

I choose what to cook based on what is healthy, affordable, and tasty. All those requirements must be met. I try to not pick anything I know someone hates (like my husband not eating shellfish or feeding overly spicy curries to my kids) and then I go. Usually we have a fruit plain (like chopped apples), a veggie steamed or simply sautéed with seasonings, and our main course (casseroles, soups, stir fries, baked/roasted meat dishes, etc). For my old mainstay of calorie counting, all I had to do was choose the serving size that fit my daily calories and go. Everyone was happy most nights and got a balanced diet.

After this phase I am on right now (not calorie counting) I will be transitioning our kitchen to essentially grain free, paleo eating. My requirement for these new recipes is the same - tasty, healthy, affordable. So I have selected a few new paleo cookbooks aimed specifically at family friendly recipes.

That's how I do it and remain both inside my calorie and money budgets while keeping the family happy, healthy, and fed. If you are looking for good cookbooks to begin with might I suggest Sally Fallon's "Nourishing Traditions" and a new cookbook I absolutely love - "Paleo Comfort Food". These are healthy, whole, easy to prepare recipes that should go well with a healthy diet for you AND your family.

[flourless]

Originally Posted by 757MISTY

I also can not afford making myself something extra every night for dinner (diet food is expensive!)

You're not making yourself something extra - you're making yourself something different. Generally you should be able to make adjustments so the cost difference isn't material.

My family of three requires three different diets. I need a moderate-carb diet to function best. My husband needs a low-carb diet to function best. My daughter needs calorie-dense food (although less now than she used to) and is a vegetarian. That means that I mostly prepare flexible meals with lots of components and we all take what we want.

Mexican/taco-night is a staple. The table gets: a meat or fish, corn tortilla, chopped cabbage or lettuce, salsa, black beans, chopped onions, sour cream (ok, fage full-fat yogurt, because we all prefer it to sour cream), shredded cheese, sometimes pickled onions or some cooked greens...

My husband has a meat-laden taco-salad. My daughter has black beans with onions, cheese and yogurt, with sides of veggies and samples of anything we see fit. I have soft tacos with a side of black beans. It's not really short-order cook, but I do see making sure that everyone gets what they need to be their best as part of my job as chief cook and bottle washer.

On pasta night, there's always plenty of vegetables, so if one of us eats sauce and veg, and one eats pasta and sauce, and one eats pasta and sauce and veg... that's ok too.

[indiblue]

Originally Posted by ennay

I make a meal based around what I want to eat. I add on some things for the family sometimes. They dont need to eat UNhealthy food ever. But sometimes I will skip eating the potatoes or the starch but the rest of the meal is the same. Sometimes I have a veggie and a salad and they just pick one of the two. Sometimes I have corn tortillas when they have flour. Nobody really notices.

I agree. I think Kara is right that eating the same meal together is important, but I don't think that means eating the exact same meal. Right now my diet is so strict that I wouldn't subject my fiance to only lentils/tofu and vegetables... just as he wouldn't prepare a meal of meat and bread and expect me to eat it.

Instead, I'll prepare a huge bowl of salad, rice, and a tofu veg curry with a portion separated that has chicken added to it. I'll eat a really large salad and the tofu and veggies from the curry. My fiance will have a big pile of rice, the curry portion with the chicken and will pick at the salad. (ETA: flourless's example of taco night is a perfect example. I'll sautee ground beef and cook pinto beans and make tortillas. I have pinto beans on top of roasted tomatoes and a bed of lettuce, my fiance has beef/bean burritos. It IS a little extra work but it's worth it.)

Originally Posted by ennay

what IS "diet food" ? Eat food. They should eat food. Nobody should eat non-food.

Agree.