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Old 01-20-2011, 04:45 PM   #1  
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Question Has being fat shaped your personality??

This question may be more for those of us that have had life long weight issues.
Do you think being "fat" has shaped your personality? Do you think its made you quieter because you are trying not to draw attention to yourself (and your weight)? Or have you swung in the other direction...being out going and in-your-face? Maybe funnier? Are you maybe a little snippy, with the 'get them before they get me' approach?

I must admit, growing up, I was quiet, definately not aggressive. But year after year, I got made fun of (more like harassed) because of my weight. And year after year more and more anger and resentment grew. And somewhere along the way I turned into an out going person that, would put my foot up your *** if you even tried to treat me poorly. I also developed and still have the "yeah I'm fat, what's your point attitude". I often wonder, had I not been pushed to the breaking point over and over for years and years growing up, would I have been a quieter, less aggressive person.

Has your weight made you a different person?
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Old 01-20-2011, 05:12 PM   #2  
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I used to be active in many sports and very active in general. After a traumatic experience I dropped everything and resorted to eating... everything... I am so much more quite then I used to be, I was the kind of child you could tell was absorbed in everything and now I'm more of a loner...

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Old 01-20-2011, 05:13 PM   #3  
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Not so much weight, but my love of and obsession with food caused me to have a snotty attitude toward other healthy lifestyles. I though health food stores and organic foods were totally lame and weird. I judged vegans, vegetarians, 100-mile dieters, etc.

Now that I eat low-sugar, I'm a weirdo by my own standards!
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Old 01-20-2011, 05:27 PM   #4  
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It definately shaped mine in a more negative way. I have become more insecure and definately more with drawn. It seems like with evry pound I lose I chip away at that and feel self esteem returning. I also had a certain feeling of worthlessness. I even put away all of my jewelry and never wore it- I have since started to wear my jewelry again. I even want to ge my ears re-pierced (they closed up).
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Old 01-20-2011, 05:31 PM   #5  
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In everyday life and conversations; I refused to take responsibility that I had become heavy.

What changed; I hid from cameras, I started wearing mostly sweats and ugly clothes. I started not caring how I looked; I did not put on make-up; I would not do my hair... I felt ugly inside and I manifested the ugliness outside.

My avatar picture is there to remind me, during my journey, how much I hated my gut each day. How I truly looked (and yep I am wearing tummy shrinking pantyhose...lol).

Me being fat, made me into queen of excuses.
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Old 01-20-2011, 05:56 PM   #6  
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It has absolutely shaped my personality, and since I've always been fat, weight has had my entire life to make me who I am... I feel inferior and self-conscious in everything I do. I'm shy and I'm not out-going. This is not how I want to be, but I'm convinced it's how I have to be because of my size.
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Old 01-20-2011, 06:00 PM   #7  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sum38 View Post
In everyday life and conversations; I refused to take responsibility that I had become heavy.

What changed; I hid from cameras, I started wearing mostly sweats and ugly clothes. I started not caring how I looked; I did not put on make-up; I would not do my hair... I felt ugly inside and I manifested the ugliness outside.

My avatar picture is there to remind me, during my journey, how much I hated my gut each day. How I truly looked (and yep I am wearing tummy shrinking pantyhose...lol).

Me being fat, made me into queen of excuses.
And now you have the courage to say, "no more". Be proud that you did not spend another day hiding, but that you were honest with yourself and made a change! Sometimes that step is harder than the actual weightloss process.
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Old 01-20-2011, 06:17 PM   #8  
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I am sure I would not have been as shy as I was when I was younger, but I grew out of that so I don't have that problem now. I also grew out of being so quiet, bartending and sales jobs encouraged and taught me how to talk to just about anyone so I would say that now I'm pretty outgoing even with my size.

If anyone saw one of the first episodes of "the Big C" they saw Laura's character go off on Gabrielle Sidebe (sp)s character about how "no one likes a nasty fat person. Fat repels, nice attracts. Thats why fat people are 'jolly'" and it was an ah-ha moment for me and the friend I was watching with, who also has battled weight.

I have been describerd as having a 'Smiley!' 'Happy!' 'Suppppper nice!' 'Ray of Sunshine' and 'Cute as a Button' personality. Yes, I try to be a nice person, I think it is important to practice acts of kindness everyday and I make it a point to practice kindness when dealing with people. It had never occured to me before but when I heard the speech part of me couldn't help but wonder if part of that is me overcompensating.
Thats OK if it is, I don't have a problem standing up for myself or anyone else, I don't let anyone take advantage of me, I easily weed out toxic relationships and only surround myself with good supportive people. So, its not a problem and if its the biggest effect weight has had on my personality, thats pretty dang ok.
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Old 01-20-2011, 06:17 PM   #9  
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I think it made me very hateful for people who cared about appearences. I thought that there was nothing worse then someone who was shallow and I never made it a point to dress nice, or style my hair, or wear make up, or nice clothes, or anything that would help my appearence much. At the same time I felt self concious and ugly and like no one would ever want to date me and when people kept turning me down it made me feel worse. I took out my anger out on other people and if someone commented on weight I would zero in on anything I could about them and be little them. At the same time I made friends with all sorts of people and I learned not to judge everyone by their cover and to always listen to people before making a decision about them. Although I still think high maintance people are crazy and shallow people are obnoxious it is not with the same anger I felt before. The smaller I get the more concious I become about my appearence and the more understanding I am of people who are. Now that I'm seeing real changes I just want to reach out to my other friends and help them change to but many of them aren't very happy about my efforts because they think working on their appearence is pointless. lol.
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Old 01-20-2011, 06:22 PM   #10  
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I've been struggling with my weight for most of my life. Being overweight and obese has shaped me, both negatively and positively. I don't know of course how I'd be different if I weren't fat, because I didn't live that life, I can only guess at what it would have been like.

I've always been boisterously outgoing, and I suspect that probably is just in-born (I was adopted, so I didn't inherit it or learn it from my relatively shy parents).

If I hadn't been amazing social skills (and I really don't know were I got those either), I think being overweight would have had a more negative impact. Not that I didn't get teased or bullied, but not nearly as much as a less confident person would have been. In sixth grade a kid (known for being a bully) tugged on my ivory elephant pendant and asked it it was a portrait of a relative. I punched him in the face (the first and last time I ever punched anyone, well except my brother). Oddly enough the bully was friendly after than (and he definitely never teased me about my weight).

Usually though I responded with humor, some of it self-deprecating (I learned early that if you beat others to the punch and make fun of yourself, it takes all the steam out of bullies. "No kidding, what's your point?" really does tend to make the issue a non-issue. Bullies take advantage of weaknesses and insecurities, and if you aren't insecure (or can hide it) it takes all the fuel out of their fire.

I'm not saying I wasn't adversely affected by social pressures, I just never did internalize all of the negativity as much as the other "fat girls" I knew. I always knew prettier girls who were a lot more shy and insecure, and I was able to maintain a slightly above average level of popularity (being smart and friendly went a long way in compensating for being fat).

I do think though that I learned to be a people-peaser as a result of my weight. I was a social chameleon. I made friends with everyone (even the kids everyone else hated), I learned to spot other people's weaknesses and exploit them - not usually in a mean way, but I learned how to spot what people needed and I provided it. I was everyone's friend, and no one's enemy. If I had been just a little less confident or a little less intelligent/manipulative, I could have become a doormat.

It wasn't all negative though. I don't know that I would have been half as compassionate a person without going through the bullying and even the health problems obesity caused or worsened. I wouldn't have been so interested in people, and in the science of health, nutrition, and weight control.

I wouldn't wish it all away even if I could, because it would be wishing ME away. I am the sum of my experiences, and I like ME, even the imperfect bits.
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Old 01-20-2011, 06:24 PM   #11  
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I put a lot of effort into projecting control and competence. It seemed/seems to me that a lot pf people just don't take fat people very seriously, as if they are just inherently incompetent. So I always act like I know what I am doing, even if I don't.
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Old 01-20-2011, 06:41 PM   #12  
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I think my weight had definatly shaped my personality. I was skinny until university when I started gaining a lot of weight (60 lbs and I am short so it makes a huge difference).

Because of my weight I try to avoid social situations. I have always been shy but I hate going out since I feel like people are judging me. My boyfriend wants me to go to events with him but I am ashamed of how I look and that people will think he is crazy for being with me. Like Sum38 I avoid cameras at all costs.

Once I gained all the weight I stopped wearing make up, dressing nice and doing my hair. I figured I looked so bad because of my weight what was the point of everything else. But I am working really hard on changing this now. I wear a little bit of make up when going out and I try to dress better. I think losing weight will make such a difference because I will be more likely to go out and do things since I won't feel judged all the time.
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Old 01-20-2011, 06:47 PM   #13  
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I love this topic!

I love hearing all the stories.

Looking back at my life.... I was VERY thin when I was a teenager and a young woman. I was very thin after I had both of my kids. Sometimes I look back, and I think I gained my weight to fit in. Niafabo nailed it. I was considered shallow when I was 108 pounds. I was not accepted who I really was. I was the skinny bi*&$. I was insecure; I gained 50 to 60 pounds to fit in I am very small boned and I have a petite frame.

I like pretty things. I like pretty clothes and shoes. I don't have any pretty things anymore. Because the pretty things are not that pretty on me.

Funny thing; what comes to my kids and husband (who is naturally a health freak and slim) I have made sure they were always fed healthy food and snacks. I am very opinionated (and loathed) what comes to my opinion how parents feed their kids...and in a mean time I was poisoning myself. In a mean time I was killing myself.

I am glad I finally decided enough is enough, and I want to reclaim myself back. I don't need to be size 0. I want to feel good. I want to be able to buy those pretty things...lol...and love wearing them. I want to get an admiring look from a strange man.

You will see me post here...sometimes I may upset you...but remember...I am really trying to let my true colors shine through

Last edited by Sum38; 01-20-2011 at 06:48 PM.
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Old 01-20-2011, 07:00 PM   #14  
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Awesome responses so far! Niafabo, I can completely relate with the appearance situation. Word for word, what you wrote, I felt the same way. The more I take care of my appearance, and the older I get the more I can see how I used to think, in hind site.
Kaplods only into my 20s did I figure out that if you beat people to the punch line, they lose the steam to make fun of you. My personality now, it basically impossible to say something to embarass me or humiliate me. That comment about the ivory pendant would ahve been met with me feeling horrible and humiliated, when I was a kid. (BTW I love that you punched that kid. Omg, I wish I had the courage to do that as a kid) Now, if some one said that, there's be many different things I'd do or say, but I'll always come out on top.
But a big part of that is I truely hated my self for being fat when I was younger. Now I don't. I have much greater personality and life flaws that I'd hate someone to draw attention to that being fat...its kind of like "yeah duh, I'm fat...that's all you can come up with? Really?"
Maybe I just go so used to that being the area of "attack" that I just don't give a crap anymore. Everything gets old eventually. IDK

For me the dividing factor was having kids. Up until I had kids, I hated my body and was ashamed of it. Since having kids, its not a conscience thought, I just dont hate my body anymore. I'm not ashamed of it anymore. I wish I could have felt this kind of appreciation for my body from the get go. But, as the thread topic says, I think the "personality effects" were already in place by the time I started to appreciate my body.


excuse the 1000 typos!

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Old 01-20-2011, 07:15 PM   #15  
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I literally just watched my dream job pass me by, because I was too scared to apply for it.

I'm 110% NOT living up to my full potential in ANY aspect of my life, and I think so much of it has to do with my lack of self confidence, and lack of control in my own life. And I think that will be exponentially changed by losing weight, *getting fit*, and finding myself. I think it has less to do with my weight, or clothing size - but it has everything to do with over all health and confidence in my physical ability to live my life the way I want to.

....blah....
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