Thanks for the responses
Binging is something I've done... forever. But, I was always thin or average until about 4 years ago. The way I managed my weight was basically having more 'diet' days then 'binge' days. Then, when I became a SAHM 4 years ago, the binge days starting outnumbering the diet days and... that's how I got fat. Not healthy, I know. I've never ever had a 'normal' relationship with food.
After having my second baby in April I really had motivation and commitment and I lost weight, even though the amount I had to lose was daunting to say the least. I still binged, but my relationship with food DID improve. There were lots of days I chose to just accept I was eating a bit over my calories without thinking, "screw it, I'm going to stuff my face." When I binged, I started to stop binging as badly as I had before. Not always, but I was making good changes, slowly. Even in the last 6 weeks my binges weren't as epic as in the past... in the past I probably could have easily put on 20+ pounds in 6 weeks, not just 10.
I don't know why I binge. For the last few years it's been late night eating, after the kids are in bed and I finally get to decompress and relax. Wine is sometimes involved! But before that, who knows... I would overeat or binge to celebrate, or when I was sad, or scared, or bored, or mad..... pretty much any emotion.
Anyway, I am hoping to continue to improve with my binging, but it really scared me when I just lost my willpower for that long.
Thanks for the support, I am ashamed to say I've stayed away from 3FC lately, but I'm back and staying back. And BP, you are right I need to face up and change my ticker... maybe I'll just wait a few days to see if it can be a better number..