Looking for a Gentle Push (or a hard kick, whichever you wanna give)
I have reached a point in my weight loss where I am getting a little confused and little discouraged. Besides some mixed signals from my husband, I am feeling upset by a "scale-stall".
I know that water weight causes fluctuations, that I'm slightly constipated, that weight loss is a long process, that weight doesn't magically fall off, that changes in my food intake will reflect on the scale, etc etc etc blah blah blah
None of that matters when I get on the scale and I see I am STILL 295-296 for the 2nd (going on 3rd) week in a row. I got down to 293 for one day, but then I was back up, so I am counting it as a fluke.
I have had a few "bad" days where I have eaten something I shouldnt have, but I haven't gone over my calories (I try to stay between 1400-1800) and I don't skip workout days too often, (had a week where I only went to the gym 3 times instead of 5) and I sometimes eat too much salt.
(im really answering my own post)
I kind of know what I'm doing wrong, but I can't quite shake the feeling of inadequacy and I feel like I should be seeing better results. I have been very good about staying on track and kicking myself back on track when I fall off, but the scale isnt moving and I am starting to feel depressed about it.
How do I get past the "funk"?
"This time" for me has been different, because I started choosing to see success where I used to see failure (and then I'd give up when the feelings of failure outnumbered the feelings of success).
This time it's taken me four years to lose 80 lbs (and seven years to lose 101 lbs), so my "success" this time has been slower than the losses that inspired me to quit in the past. So how could I stick with weight loss of 0-1 lbs per month, when I quit in the past when weight loss slowed to less than 1-2 lbs per week?
One of the things that helped me was to focus on weight maintenance rather than weight loss. My first and foremost goal was to maintain my weight loss, and to maybe try to lose "just one more pound." Since maintenance was the main goal - I got to celebrate most days (even if I gained from TOM or water retention or even overeating, my goal for the next day was still to "not gain" so that any day I didn't gain from the day before, was a cause to celebrate).
I think we tend to set weight loss goals too high, so that we feel like failures more than successes and we call that "normal," when it's not normal anywhere else. How long would you stay with a job if the paychecks stopped.
You have to find a way to give yourself regular paydays. And sometimes that may even take "weight loss" off the table. When I first started, I couldn't make weight loss my goal at all, because I felt too horrible when I didn't lose (especially if I had "done everything right," because I felt I deserved that "paycheck.")
Making "not gaining" my main goal, I've been able to lose 101 lbs - a lot more than I ever lost when my main goal was losing (because when I stopped losing, I stopped feeling successful, and eventually would give up).
Find a way to feel successful, and those feelings really fire motivation. After all, if you're succeeding, there's no temptation or reason to quit.
My Etsy shop (currently closed for the summer)
The only thing that has kept me from losing my mind is staying off the scale. Before it got too depressing when I didn't see the results I was expecting and I'd give up. Maybe you could try weighing every 2 weeks or even just once a week. I'm assuming that you currently are doing it daily, sorry if I'm wrong. For me weighing in only once or twice a month has made me stay on plan for the longest I ever have.
I can so understand where you're coming from - I am in the same boat. I had a gain 3 weeks ago of 6 pounds from one day to the next (while on plan) that didn't go away after a few days. That sent me into a motivational tailspin, in which I stopped being as committed to my cals and exercise - nothing terrible, but nothing good enough to see actual results. I've since decided also to give up weighing myself daily - I think for those of us who see significant hormonal fluid retention, it's just too hard on the psyche. I'm not going to weigh myself now until Christmas morning - and for me, that's a SUPER long time. I've been a hyper weigher up until now, feeling exhilarated when the scale was moving down, and funked out when it wasn't. Instead, by not checking, I feel like I 'must' be moving downward, and have the anticipation of what I will see on Christmas morning.
I was looking at your blog and it seems like there are a few things causing you trouble. You feel like your husband is not supportive of your weight loss and you have been "rewarding" yourself with food.
The food rewards have got to stop. It is self-sabotage. If you really, really want to lost the weight you need to have a program that you stick to consistently. It is so important to get your eating under control. It is the key to developing new eating habits that you can live with forever.
Do you have certain trigger foods? I found that I had to cut out a lot of favorites from my diet because I would always overeat. While I'm losing weight I have eliminated processed foods, sugar, diet drinks, ice cream, cookies, chips, chocolate. For me it is just better if I don't even go there. It was hard in the beginning but after a couple of weeks I was okay. Maybe when I get to goal I will be able to eat those things again.
You are going to have to be strong in the face of your husband trying to entice you into old patterns...you were his eating buddy. Try to keep focused on why you want to lose weight. There are going to be a lot of temptations and you need to develop skills for dealing with them.
Make a commitment to yourself, really commit to your program for 3 months and give it serious effort. Track your food, count your calories - not sure what program you are on. You can be successful. Prove it to yourself. Once you are having consistent success that will encourage you to continue. You can do this!!
It is so easy it is to get derailed when you don't see results, it is even easier when someone is dangling temptation in front of you. This takes courage and determination. Giving up only makes it harder to get back up. Are you tracking what you eat ? Getting the fluids in can help, as well as keeping an eye on the salt. Ask your husband if he would like to join you in some exercise you could both enjoy.