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Old 11-22-2011, 07:31 PM   #1
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Hello..
I'm a long time lurker here on 3FC (I'm pretty shy and easily intimidated, even with the anonymity of the Internet) I've lost about 90lbs so far, and Im so happy about that. I was wondering if anyone who has gone through weight loss could offer any advice. I'm not at goal yet but Im in a solid routine with my diet and exercise and hopefully I should get there in the next few months. The thing I am really really struggling with is the attention and the compliments. Everytime I run into someone I haven't seen for a couple of weeks or months they pile on the compliments, like really pile them on thick. it's pure kindness on their part but honestly I don't know what to do with it. I don't know what to say and I end up just blushing to death and feeling awkward. I'm not used to the attention and it doesn't make me feel encouraged to keep going, I've noticed it's actually triggering me to eat. Anyone been there? Got any tips? This is obviously something Im going to have to get over....

Xx Susie xX
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Old 11-22-2011, 08:01 PM   #2
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How about saying "Thanks, but can we change the subject, I'm not comfortable talking about this right now, can you pass the bean dip?" Or ask about them or something. Just be straight with them.
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Old 11-22-2011, 08:41 PM   #3
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I would politely say "Thank you" and change the conversation. Everyone is different, but I would feel odd telling them that I don't feel comfortable talking about weight loss because, to me, that brings even more attention to it. If after trying to change the subject, they keep wanting to talk about your weight loss, at that point I would laugh and say "Oh, I don't feel like talking about that!" or something along those lines.
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Old 11-22-2011, 08:42 PM   #4
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Yep, you have to learn to deflect.

Say, 'thanks!' and then ask your friend about herself to change the subject. Most people really prefer to talk about themselves. The trick is to figure out the question that will allow them to do it.
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Old 11-22-2011, 09:44 PM   #5
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I have that issue too. People have complimented me on the weight loss, but I feel embarrassed and nervous, because I know I still have weight to lose. Sometimes I purposely avoid people just so I won't have to deal with it.
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Old 11-22-2011, 09:56 PM   #6
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Susie, Congratulations on your hard work! Great job!

try "Thank you, but I want to hear what YOU'VE been up to..."
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Old 11-23-2011, 07:07 AM   #7
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great advice, thanks so much! I usually say 'Thank you' but I'm definitely going to add in a question to turn the conversation around. I just can't wait til Ive seen everyone and they get used to this being the 'normal' me. Christmas is going to be hard because Ill be seeing a lot of my extended family that haven't seen me in a while, I'm nervous about it, but hopefully with the advice of you lovelies it won't be too bad. Thanks! x
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Old 11-23-2011, 07:12 AM   #8
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I know how you feel! At first it's really nice to get the compliments but after a while people just want to know EVERY LITTLE THING.

It happens at my gym all the time. People there usually left me alone so when they started showering me with attention when I began losing significant amounts, it was very uncomfortable.

I do what a lot of people do now—I turn the conversation around. I usually make some remark like "Yeah it's really hard to lose...how are you?" and if the person likes to talk about themselves they will love that you turned the conversation around

Otherwise just be short and blunt with your answers. Doing that doesn't really leave people with much to go on to keep up with the conversation. If someone asks how you lost weight, give the most basic answer possible. If I know the person is expecting me to talk about some miracle diet, then I'll just say "eating less" when they ask. If they ARE genuinely curious I will go into my calorie counting plan because I know how freaking hard it is lose weight. You can also say "a lot" when people ask how much weight you've lost. It sort of cuts the conversation short and makes people realize that you don't really want to talk about it.
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Old 11-23-2011, 07:36 AM   #9
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All the above advice is good. I have one answer when someone asks "have you lost weight?", I say yes, and I did it on purpose. Then I change the subject.
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Old 11-23-2011, 08:41 AM   #10
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Great to hear I'm not alone in my awkwardness, I swear I've never stared at my feet so much in my life I think people mean it to be encouraging but when I hear 'You look soooooo much better now that you've lost weight' it makes me a little bit sad and just the tiniest bit defensive, but I don't let it show and I really try to be as gracious as possible but i suppose it's just a bit difficult to hear. I love meeting new people though that have no idea I used to be bigger it's bliss.
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Old 11-23-2011, 04:53 PM   #11
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"thanks" and change the subject. But I do answer honestly when someone asks what I weigh, because I think there's a widespread misunderstanding of just how much healthy smaller women can weigh. We're not all 115 or 120 pounds, and 145 or 150 doesn't actually look fat on me-- surprise, adjust your perception.
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Old 11-23-2011, 05:42 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MariaMaria View Post
"thanks" and change the subject. But I do answer honestly when someone asks what I weigh, because I think there's a widespread misunderstanding of just how much healthy smaller women can weigh. We're not all 115 or 120 pounds, and 145 or 150 doesn't actually look fat on me-- surprise, adjust your perception.
I answer that question honestly too for the same reason. I also get people saying that I must weigh about 20 pounds less... which really, would I lie to make myself heavier?

No, I'm large-framed. I really am 140 pounds at this size.

Last edited by sontaikle : 11-23-2011 at 05:43 PM.
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