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"But you don't need to lose weight!"

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Old 11-14-2011, 04:26 PM   #1
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Default "But you don't need to lose weight!"

I'm SO SICK of hearing people tell me that when I mention that I'm trying to lose weight. Yes, I could be much larger than I am, but I am overweight and I want that weight gone. I can't tell if they're just being nice when they say that I don't need to lose weight, or if they genuinely think I look good at the size that I am, but either way I wish they would just congratulate me on my efforts and move on. It's hard for me to explain why it bothers me so much, but it does, and I was wondering if other people have the same or similar frustrations?
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Old 11-14-2011, 04:50 PM   #2
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Yup, I get it. I used to interpret it to mean they think I am just wasting my time trying to lose more weight when I look just fine where I am. OK, yeah -- but YOU don't have to shower with me in the morning and YOU don't have to see me naked in the mirror. We have similar stats so I totally get where you are coming from.

I used to let it annoy me in the beginning too but I just learned to shrug it off and I convinced myself that they are only paying me a compliment. Because, most likely, that is exactly what it was. Except for a few friends who all of a sudden weighed more than me so you have to consider the source!

BUT, here's the danger in accepting those comments -- you might one day think to yourself, "Well, you know. Maybe they are right and maybe I did lose enough weight and I should take a little break or maintain?".

But squash those thoughts when they show up. Just stay on YOUR plan and get to YOUR desired weight. And 120 for your height is just perfect in my opinion!
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Old 11-14-2011, 06:00 PM   #3
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Those comments do occasionally make me question my quest to lose weight, but then I look in the mirror and I'm not convinced at all! I simply can't be ok with being the weight I am if I don't think I look good, even if others do.

130 is my maximum weight goal, and 120 is my ideal. If I love the way I like at 130 then I'll stick with that, but I think that 120 is perfect, and thank you for saying so!
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Old 11-14-2011, 06:03 PM   #4
So close, yet so far away
 
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I hate when people say this to me. It seriously gets under my skin.
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Old 11-14-2011, 06:18 PM   #5
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I take it as a compliment. Of course, where I am, compared to those of you who have already posted before me, I'm a lot bigger. For someone to think I look thin enough to not need to lose weight is flattering. That doesn't mean I'm going to stop working towards my goal, though, because I don't think I look good yet.
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Old 11-14-2011, 09:07 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zoseph View Post
130 is my maximum weight goal, and 120 is my ideal.
When I got to the low 130's I was very happy. My dream goal is 124 (because I want to say I am in the "low 120's", lol, but I'd be just fine at 129. Just want to get out of the 130's! For me, and maybe for you, is that all my extra weight is isolated to one area. It is not evenly distributed. If it were, I'd probably be ok where I am now. But because it's all on my hips and thighs, it is more noticable.

Well, anyway, keep up the awesome work!
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Old 11-14-2011, 09:24 PM   #7
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Most everyone who has been dieting long enough has heard this and the closer you get to your goal weight the more you will hear it.

Solution? Don't tell them you're dieting or if you're the snarky sort tell them that they're probably right but if they want any tips to drop a few pounds you're happy to provide them.
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Old 11-15-2011, 08:08 AM   #8
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It is an annoying comment!

I think we, especially Americans, see large people everywhere, everday. A nation of obesity! Being overweight is now the new norm, and when you lose weight, it becomes more pronounced when the majority are still overweight. Couple that with a strong desire from most people to achieve what you have, and you get annoying comments!
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Old 11-15-2011, 09:47 AM   #9
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I hear you! I had about the same stats when I started. People were always trying to push food on me, "stop dieting", etc. But I could look in the mirror, I could feel how unhealthy I was, and I could see the scale. I never said anything about "dieting" to anyone (really, not a diet) and eventually the comments went away.

Do it for you! You'll feel so wonderful when you get there, and really enjoy the journey! Every day gets better and better, even with the missteps.
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Old 11-15-2011, 10:53 AM   #10
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Quote:
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....if you're the snarky sort tell them that they're probably right but if they want any tips to drop a few pounds you're happy to provide them.
Ah JohnP, always a sure thing for a laugh!
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Old 11-15-2011, 11:14 AM   #11
Well, that was awkward.
 
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I hate those comments! I get those from my family all the time! And for a while I accepted it and just went with the "maybe I don't need to lose weight" mind set, and I gained it all back. I was pissed. So, go with what you want to do. Don't let anyone else tell you that you don't need something.

As for me, I come from a long line of really tall people, so to them, that weight was fine, but for me, it makes me chunky since I'm not six foot.
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Old 11-15-2011, 11:27 AM   #12
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I get those comments from my friends all the time. They THINK I don't need to lose weight because some are heavier than I am. The ones that aren't don't want me to lose weight because they don't want to be fat friend. I take those comments with a grain of salt. It's your body and you decide what is best for you.
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Old 11-15-2011, 11:40 AM   #13
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i had that happen the other day! a lady ive known for about 3 yrs was asking if i lost weight. i said yes and then she said you dont need to lose anymore. i said are you kidding i still need to lose some. she said maybe 20 lbs but no more because you will look sick >.> take in mind shes like 5'9" and rail thin. i want to at least get into the 140s and im in the low 180s high 170s now
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Old 11-15-2011, 11:55 AM   #14
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Considering that I was 200 pounds and 5'3" I didn't get this comment when I first started losing weight. I get it a lot now though and it does get annoying. I ignore it quite a bit at this point as arguing with people just isn't worth the aggravation.

I don't tell anyone that I'm still trying to lose weight, but I do get a lot of people saying "Don't lose anymore!!" because it's easy to SEE that I'm still losing.

I can't really even argue that I'm still "unhealthy" like I used to I'm one pound away from a healthy BMI, but within a healthy weight range for my frame size.

I think as some have argued that people want to feel better about themselves. I find that quite a lot of people are threatened by my weight loss and often feel the need to justify their weight to me. Honestly this confuses me as I could really care less as to what other people weigh. I figure it's their business and wish that people would extend the same courtesy to me, which doesn't happen unfortunately.
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Old 11-15-2011, 12:03 PM   #15
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take it as a compliment. Or if they are really thin as them being threatened by you encroaching on their territory.

and be glad people aren't saying something like "thank god you are losing weight you big cow"
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