I do understand how all of you feel, I've felt the same way, but on the other side of the coin, I have very "fat" friend, way more overweight than I've ever been.
But, she is a crack up, no problems with her size. We've talked about it. She is assertive, self confident, and has it going on. She never had a problem getting guys, she is now married, going to college, working, and a person I really admire, there is no stopping her, when she decides she wants something!
Don't get me wrong, I do wish she would take better care of her health, but beyond that, she is an awesome woman! Self confident, assertive, ambitious, driven! And a great friend! For whatever reason, the way she puts herself out there, no one sees the weight issue, they just see Stephanie!
^i wish i could have been that girl when i was the "fat friend"
i would go shopping with my friends (one of which was a size 2, the other a size 6). The size 2 girl thought she was the hottest girl of all time and would want to try on absolutely anything she could, but me, a size 12-14 at my heaviest refused to try anything on in stores. They would whine at me and try and convince me to try something on but i would insist that i just hate dressing rooms when really i was just too embarrassed to let them know what size i was.
Why do men only want thin women? I've never seen a guy at a bar hit on a girl over 120lbs...and you know what, a lot of those women are rude to the men who pay attention to them, they walk all over them, they aren't attentive, and some of them have no personality or goals in life. Men baffle me.
I don't agree with this. From being 140 to 170, I've gotten hit on by guys quite consistently. I don't think it has anything to do with being stick thin, but by having healthy proportions, good posture, and overall healthy look.
I have a friend who is 110lbs and about '5"11 and she never gets hit on, even though she is absolutely gorgeous. Why? Because her body language shows that she is uncomfortable and unapproachable.
However, a lot of skinny women have a confidence about their looks because that is the look we're all trying to attain (or, in the direction we're all trying to lean). They know this, so it builds their confidence.
Also, bones are much easier to hide under clothes and give impressions of curves, than fat. Excess fat is by far the most difficult thing to camouflage. I've heard on numerous accounts from my guy friends about taking a girl home and after seeing how skinny she was underneath her clothes, being really turned off and unable to proceed.
I never had a problem with being the fat friend. I have friends of all different shapes and sizes and we always have a blast hanging out.
Guys don't always just flirt with skinny women either. I've had men flirt with me at all different sizes because I projected an air of confidence. If you're sitting around thinking "nobody likes me because I'm fat," then you're unsure of yourself and others can sense that.
I've met some wonderful fat women who have men after them all the time and a group of friends who would never betray them. They're beautiful, confident and don't really care what you think of them THAT'S why others flock to them.
Why do men only want thin women? I've never seen a guy at a bar hit on a girl over 120lbs...and you know what, a lot of those women are rude to the men who pay attention to them, they walk all over them, they aren't attentive, and some of them have no personality or goals in life. Men baffle me.
Peer pressure. I dated a man who found me very sexually attractive 50 lbs ago. However he was 53 years old at the time and was able to say he would have never even noticed me in his younger days when his friend's opinions on "dating a fat chick" were so pervasive (and they were likely there with him).
I hate being the "easy one" for the wingman to approach first. Its really obvious when he is being the "in" to distract me to his buddy can talk to my hot friend.
I hate never being the one who guys buy drinks for... I'm never the one that someone approaches on the dance floor. I am, however, *always* the one that the guy comes up to and says "Hey, I think your friend is pretty. Is she single?"
I hate avoiding going shopping with my friends because I never want to be put in a position of someone saying "Hey, try this on!" and having to explain that I won't be able to squeeze into it. Also, there is NOTHING fun for me about watching my friends shop in stores that have nothing on the rack that will fit me!
Invited places to make the skinnier friends more attractive. Being put down then when you mention something about it they are like " we are your friends, we just are looking out for your health" even if they are commenting how your back rolls look huge in a shirt and you can hear it.
When I was at uni, there was a guy who I thought (at the time) was pretty cool.
Anyway, a group of us were sat in the student bar, and although a couple of the guys in the group didn't like me too much, some of them are OK, and so I talked to the nice ones. Anyway, the guy I thought was cool at the time, I started a conversation with him. I thought it was going well until this other girl arrived, and he just dropped me like a hot potato, and flat out ignored me after that. Eventually I got over him, but I thought after that that he went from being a pretty cool guy at the start of the year, to being a complete jerk later on. There's simply no need!
I totally hear people on being targeted by the wing man of the group when out clubbing etc, or being a bet/dare. If they don't fancy me, I don't care... but I'd rather they didn't waste my time if they don't. Especially if it's particularly *obvious* that I'm just a dare to them.
I hate avoiding social situations that involve a lot of walking. When I was at uni, some of my friends would walk to the beach, or ask if I wanted to walk back to halls with them. I often declined, mostly because I was just so embarrassed about how unfit I am and how slow I walk.
the absolute worst thing i hate about being the 'fat friend' is having to turn down the invitations to amusement parks because my butt won't fit in the seats, or my stomach is too big for the belt to fasten around. ugh. that happened to me once, i had to get out of a ride because i couldn't wear the safety belt. SO EMBARRASSING. i will not go back to an amusement park until i'm happily below 200lbs!
This might be rude. I'm sorry, but maybe this has happened to some of you too.
I've always been shy and prefer to have a small group of closer friends. I've also never been one to go out clubbing or this kind of thing and I tended to build friendships with nerdy, awkward, funny, weird, fat, and different people. I like variety and I'm definitely intimidated by people who would be deemed beautiful by conventional standards, but this is starting to change.
I have one particular "fat friend" that I just can't stand being around anymore. She's a downer, she only wants to do things that involve sitting around and eating, she makes fun of fat girls we see when we're out and I don't enjoy going out with her. Sometimes I feel like she is sabotaging my weight loss efforts and sometimes she makes rude comments about the weight I've lost. She also scares away guys when we do go out to a club. I don't want to lose my friend and she often talks about wanting to lose weight, but makes no effort. I don't really know what to do about this. So, it's not even fun becoming the un-fat friend.
When the guys go after your thinner friends.
And taking pics at a pool party where you don't really feel like they want to include you in the pics or you don't want to be in the pics and look like the big girl.
THAT'S why others flock to them.
