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Have you become self-involved?

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Old 09-01-2011, 05:03 AM   #1
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Question Have you become self-involved?

I was thinking today, about how a lot of my conversations with people through the years have always been about me on another diet..or going to the gym..or changing my appearance or or or ...

I just realized..how much time i have spent talking to others about my weight loss ideas or my weight loss goals or my weight loss woes, or my weight loss stories, or what ive learned about losing weight..In fact, its become such a big topic for me during life..because i became so focussed on it..that it didnt realize that all i was doing was talking about I I I I ...myself!

So that got me wondering..how many of you have gone on a diet and found yourself so self-involved that you even stopped really hearing other people when they talked about themselves?

I dont ask this because im looking for advice on how to change, or im looking for words of wisdom..its personally..more of a revelation that i got about myself recently, and i was just curious as to how many other dieters out there have been in that exact same boat..and how many of you who have..have felt like you have lost a part of your identity that you used to know because it was exchanged for this self-involvement in yourself and dieting and exercise and trying to make yourself look better..?
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Old 09-01-2011, 07:10 AM   #2
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I talk about dieting, weight loss, weight gain, exercise, etc. only with my SO, and not very much. Right now I have some friends who are also on the program I'm on, so we talk about it more. But I've never considered that anyone except me would be interested in hearing about it. It's just not that important in the big scheme of things, and I'd rather not have my weight be a topic of conversation or focus of attention. So if by "self-involved," you mean talking about my weight a lot, I guess I don't qualify.

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Old 09-01-2011, 07:52 AM   #3
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I know you are a mom... I think, sometimes we put so much effort into others (our partners, our babies) that we forget that it's okay to be "self-involved" some extent! It's okay to talk about yourself, to care about yourself, to not make others the focus at all times.

I was like that very much in the beginning of my journey, and that's okay. Truthfully, I don't think anyone can get to maintenance without having some level of being "self-absorbed" because we need to care about ourselves before we can care for others to our best ability!!!
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Old 09-01-2011, 07:57 AM   #4
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I think a lot of people do this, and not just about weight loss. My mom is always talking about weight. Or work. One friend it's always money woes. Another her divorce, or the latest injustice of her ex-husband. And with one, and thankfully she's finally outgrown this, the conversation always rolled around to her period.

I think it's something to be cautious of, in general. I no longer talk about weight loss (except here), because in the past I got to the point where I bored even myself.
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Old 09-01-2011, 09:04 AM   #5
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Yes I find that I do talk about it alot. I guess b/c it is really all I think about. I have been trying to stop myself, b/c Im sure people get tired of hearing about diet and weight loss. It does consume MY life though. And I dont think that is a bad thing. I think it helps me to talk about it b/c it keeps me on plan. So glad I found this site, that way I can talk to people who never get tired of talking about it. =)
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Old 09-01-2011, 09:24 AM   #6
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I guess I have been lately. Seems everyone I work with is on the heavy side, and it seems to be the topic for everyone, but I'm the only one doing anything at the moment. The rest are just talking about how they should.

I don't usually talk about stuff like this, though. I've always kept certain things to myself because if I fail, the less people who know, the better! I don't usually announce starting something, but will address comments as necessary, like when they question why I don't eat a cookie, or if they notice my shrinking figure.

My Bodybugg brought up the topic lately, wanting to know what's on my arm, and I'd usually conclude with "I'll let you know how it works out". Now that everyone knows I have it, we haven't talked about it much, or my weight loss efforts. I'm sure my diet and weight loss goals will come up again once I lose a noticeable amount of weight, and then it will fizzle out again.
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Old 09-01-2011, 11:49 AM   #7
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No, I hate to talk to others about it. But I know that a huge portion of my daily thoughts are around weight and weight loss and nutrition and exercise. I know I think about it less things today than I did 2 years ago when I was starting this journey... but a lot more than when I wasn't thinking about my weight at all!!!
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Old 09-01-2011, 12:30 PM   #8
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I use 3FC to get it out of my system and "talk" about it here A LOT. So in my real life, I don't talk that much about it.

I will discuss it if someone asks and tell them about the plan I'm doing if they want to know, or I might discuss physical activities. Not really exercise, although I might mention if I bought a new work out program for the Wii or something like that, but it's mostly talk about going hiking or some other outdoor activity.
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Old 09-01-2011, 12:40 PM   #9
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Oh, I talk about it constantly. That's why joined here; I figured it'd give me an outlet, and I'd stop bugging my friends quite so much about this.

Yeah. Right. I talk here, and I talk in real life. "Hey, I went swimming today, and then I went for a two mile walk, and I had Boston Market for dinner, but it was totally within my calorie limit, because I didn't have the cornbread. . ."

That probably gets pretty old for a while. The thing is, though, losing weight and getting fit are the most important things that I'm doing in my life right now, so they necessarily take up a large amount of my headspace. My friends and family understand that, so they're forgiving of my babbling.

The one thing that I refuse to do, however, is talk about what I can't have. People used to do that at my old job; they'd go on Weight Watchers, and talk constantly about points and about how something they wanted had a lot of points, and how they can't believe that (insert fast food item here) is so many points! It's like, jeez, I'm not watching my weight at all, and I know it isn't good for me. I didn't need points to tell me that.

That bugged me. It's so negative! I'd rather focus on what I can do now that I couldn't do before. So. . .yeah, totally more self-involved about it. But if it saves my life, then I'll live with it.
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Old 09-01-2011, 12:54 PM   #10
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Self-involvement is what always tore me away from dieting. I was taught to put almost everyone's needs above mine (and also, unfortunately to resent it).

I find it difficult to give myself the appropriate amount of attention. In the past, to lose weight, I had to give up on everything else in my life. The hunger was such a formidable foe, that it took every ounce of my strength and attention to battle it (especially since I didn't consider it a successful battle unless I was losing weight quite rapidly).

I would get sick of weight loss being my only priority, and my reaction wasn't to step back, it was to quit (I only knew how to devote 100% to weight loss. I didn't know how, and didn't think it possible to devote only 50% to it).

This time I started "backwards" I made very small, gradule changes so that I didn't have to sacrifice everthing else.

And yet I still do struggle between too much and too little (which mirrors my food choices and pretty much all of the choices in my life as well -always too little or too much, never "just right.")

I don't stress about it too much, because I don't think any of us get it right. We all juggle with our priorities and sometimes drop a ball or too, or let our priorities slip and rearrange.
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Old 09-01-2011, 01:07 PM   #11
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I dont mean to do it but it just happens people will ask what im doing and ill say just got back fromt he gym or going to the gym blah blah and if we go out to eat i start talking about needing to find someting healthy on the menu so i think i do talk alot about it but not on purpose like you said it just becomes a huge part of your life its like if you have kids or a new bf thats all you talk about
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Old 09-01-2011, 01:09 PM   #12
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I don't talk about it much except to my best friend because we are both trying to achieve the same goals. A lot of my other friends are heavier than I am and talking about weight loss and weight issues to them may be insulting to them so I don't bring it up unless they do. I usually avoid the weight and diet conversations because they keep telling me to stop losing weight.
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Old 09-01-2011, 01:15 PM   #13
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Sometimes in order to reach goals you have to be a bit self-involved and there is nothing wrong with that to a point. Do you know how much time runners spend talking about running? Or mothers about babies?

Eventually as you become in a place where it is your new normal you wont talk about it as much. It isnt self involved as much as it is a technique to maintain focus. It is ok for the people in your life to know that this is what is important to you right now. I would rather talk weightloss with excitement than listen to someone whine about weight while they eat french fries.
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Old 09-01-2011, 01:16 PM   #14
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I think everyone does this, no matter what the subject. If it's on your mind, you're going to talk about it, whether other people want to hear about it or not.

I do talk a lot about my weight, but not as much as I did at the beginning of my journey. It's become a way of life for me, not something that I'm doing for a quick fix. Right now I'm mostly talking about guys I'm seeing or how Sprint won't fix their towers in my area.

If you find people getting annoyed with it, tell them that it's really important to you and you can't help it because you're so excited. You know it's true :P
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Old 09-01-2011, 01:46 PM   #15
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If it weren't for the fact that I am a wife and mother and grandmother and dog rescuer, this diet and fitness change would totally consume my life. Seriously.

As it is I know I bore my poor husband to tears with talking about it, but he's a really great guy and he always engages in the discussion and never makes me feel bad about talking it all over. Very supportive, which is something we all need, imo, to be successful.

Is it self involved? I suppose so. But part of the reason I got heavy in the first place was putting myself a far distant 3rd. So I am going to be somewhat self indulgent until I get this new way of living and being so ingrained it is second nature.
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