Yeah, somewhat, though it's far from being the only factor. My health is way more important, for instance. And, honestly, even though I was really, really big--not that I'm svelte now, mind you, but bigger than I am--I never really had too much trouble there. The best sex I ever had was at my top weight. It's about projecting confidence, and for some reason, when it comes to guys, I can do that.
Still, though, I'm vain enough that it'd be nice to be admired for my looks, even without the sparkling charm and rapier wit.
I ended up 266lbs thanks to one of those men who likes 'bigger women' he was constantly buying me junk and making me feel like he wouldn't stick around or love me if I lost weight. Looking back, I can't believe I was such an idiot to be taken in by him, I'd never ever let that happen again. Men who value health and fitness are the only way forward for me now!
The same with me. The last guy I was in a relationship with constantly wanted to go out to eat and visit buffets. No wonder that I had regained the 50 pounds I had lost with extra and then he complained when I wasn't losing weight fast enough for him. Geeze. I am glad that he is someone else's problem now and my weight is on a downward spiral again.
I'm mainly doing this for myself, but I have to admit, I would love to look better for my husband. I often worry that HE is embarrassed to be seen with me because he is so slim. He always says he is not and has never gave me any indication that he is, this is just my own insecurity.
Well....I'm 60, and not yet in the "limited mobility" stage. Call me shallow, but looking great ( losing weight) is a major motivator for me. It about confidence and ( I confess) I am also very interested in keeping my boyfriend on his toes......
Doing it for myself is the main thing (especially since I found out that I have hypothyroidism and PCOS, and with those being taken care of I actually do have a chance!) But...getting more male attention would be the biggest and sweetest cherry on top.
I did notice that a lot of guy friends started to pay a bit more attention to me after my weight loss. Most of them haven't seen me in six months, where I went from 190 to 160; so it was a rather dramatic reveal if I do say so myself! I was excited for it, but instead of feeling satisfaction when I saw their 'Wow'ed faces and the inevitable traveling of their eyes down my body (I was blessed with an incredible hour glass figure as I lost the weight 36-38 inch D-DD bust, 30 inch waist and 42 inch hips. Just don't make me remove my clothes...) Instead of feeling proud or gloat over their expressions I felt...disgusted. I lost a little respect for them. Heck, sometimes it felt more like what I was doing was out of vengeance; you didn't like me before? Well you are definitely not getting a chance with me now.
I admit I don't like this side of me. I am noticing I have less patience as I lose weight. I am more self-centered and less forgiving. If I don't like something I'd say it far too bluntly or just walk away. A part of me is worried I may end up being one of those 'skinny *****es' that I used to loathe, or worse yet a high maintenance girl. :O
Last edited by DesertTabby; 12-05-2011 at 04:27 PM.
I'm doing it for me first. I'm obsessed with my will to get healthier. The cherry on top as someone mentioned would be to find a hot, and great guy.
I'm finding that many men are shallow and I'll feel exactly like DesertTabby when i get to that weight. I'm also become more self-centered, more upfront and less forgiving to idiots. Confidence is building..
Yes and no. I want to lose weight so that I can be comfortable in my own body. First and foremost.
DH has no problem with my weight...his problem is that I hate my body. He hates when I put myself down and he hates that I'm self conscious.
I want to look hot/sexy for ME. If he benefits... My weight loss is going to be the equivalent of a man giving a woman something sexy as a present. Its for him...but mostly its for me.
My husband met me when i was thin, and married me when i was fat. He loves me more than anything, so i know i don't have to be skinny for him. To me though its kind of an ego thing, i want him to be able to show me off. Also, he is very fit and extremely hot, so i want to look as good as him. I don't want other girls looking at him then looking at me and wondering why or thinking they have chance because I'm not as attractive, because they don't.
My husband met me when i was thin, and married me when i was fat. He loves me more than anything, so i know i don't have to be skinny for him. To me though its kind of an ego thing, i want him to be able to show me off. Also, he is very fit and extremely hot, so i want to look as good as him. I don't want other girls looking at him then looking at me and wondering why or thinking they have chance because I'm not as attractive, because they don't.
Same here. Exactly the same here.
Nobody but me has a chance with my husband...whether I weighed 100 lbs or 500 lbs...but I want him to be able to show me off like you. I want other guys to be jealous that my hubby has such a hot wife.
Well....I'm 60, and not yet in the "limited mobility" stage. Call me shallow, but looking great ( losing weight) is a major motivator for me. It about confidence and ( I confess) I am also very interested in keeping my boyfriend on his toes......
good work marigrace!
i'm 43 and happy for you to call me shallow too - i've always been healthy, so my main motivation for controling my weight is to look better - it makes me feel good, which is pretty much the same motivation as losing to look better for guys.
Yeah, I agree with most of the others, and speaking as a young person myself (only 22)...I am losing weight for myself first, and for guys...that's just a bonus.
I agree with some of the other pp's...I don't think anyone should be able to determine what your motivation for losing weight should be. We obviously will not all have the same motivators, but none are silly or stupid. I have some really "ridiculous" means for motivation, but they work!! That's all that matters right??
To answer the question, I guess I'm shallow too b/c I definitely use guys as a motivating factor...well guy. My bf is very athletic and healthy and I want to be the same! I know he likes me as I am but would also prefer a skinnier version of myself. As would I! So yes, I do use that as motivation to continue losing. And no, I don't think there's anything wrong with it.
If I was single, I think my answer would be yes - because right now if I hadn't been in a long term relationship where I gained 80 lbs since meeting him I would be completely unable to go out and pick up guys feeling like i feel now. I know not all men are shallow and that we all have plenty to offer but there are things about an obese person I know are just not attractive to people.
For the most part, fitting into clothes and feeling comfortable in my skin AND some nice clothes would mean the world. Also being able to do things I can't do (like ride amusement park rides) and not worrying about not fitting in airplane or movie theatre seats would just be amazing. If I was to attract Mr. Right, that would just be gravy.
My weight loss is going to be the equivalent of a man giving a woman something sexy as a present. Its for him...but mostly its for me.
