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"It's not fair!"

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Old 08-29-2011, 11:28 AM   #1
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Default "It's not fair!"

This thread title has been my mantra for the last couple of months. I have PCOS, and while the first 30 pounds of my weight loss came off relatively easily, the latest twenty has been a struggle for even half a pound.

I'm in therapy for food addiction, and last week my therapist and I worked on entitlement and whining issues that I have. Namely, the "it's not fair" game.

My typical line of thought goes like this:

"It's not fair that I can't lose as fast as everyone else!"

"It's not fair that I can't eat certain foods because of my PCOS."

"It's not fair that I can gain five pounds just from looking at sugar!"

"It's not fair that I do everything right but it still takes four months to lose ten pounds!"

So then the "it's not fair" leads to:

"I might as well just do what I want because life sucks and I'm mad."

Which leads to eating and complaining and an endless cycle.

So we worked on some coping strategies. Mostly reminding myself that no, I am not a special snowflake. Sure, I have food issues and health issues that make it difficult for me to lose weight, and easy for me to put it on. Some people have way more serious health problems, and some people struggle with addictions that are a lot scarier than food. On top of that, life just plain stinks sometimes - for all of us. Everyone has their burden to bear, and I can either whine about mine, or figure out ways of bucking up and dealing with it.

Funnily enough, it's been a whole lot easier to stay on plan and get back to the basics of how to take care of myself and my health by reminding myself that it's not fair for anyone, and that we all have our own battles and demons to fight.
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Old 08-29-2011, 12:16 PM   #2
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I just have to think of people with prado willi syndrome and all my "it's not fair" thoughts immediately retreat guiltily.

Those poor people can not feel saturated ever in their entire life. That is true torture and uncurable addiction.
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Old 08-29-2011, 12:30 PM   #3
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I'm guilty of the "its not fair" game and in return I usually rebel and end up doing what I want. Like a petulant child.
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Old 08-29-2011, 01:21 PM   #4
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Life's not fair. But we just have to deal with it!!!
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Old 08-29-2011, 02:13 PM   #5
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I'm guilty of this, too. I also have been struggling to lose even half a pound. But I have several mantras like yours that I repeat to myself. It makes life easier on myself when I believe them, too.
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Old 08-29-2011, 03:49 PM   #6
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I struggle with this to. I want "Calories in, calories out" to be true for me. But it just isn't. Carbs futz with my weight, and there's no way around it.

But then I think at how destructive it is to focus on fairnss. Should a diabetic not take their insulin because it isnt fair that they have diabetes? Should a cancer patient forgo treatment because it isn't fair they have cancer? Should I be financially irresponsible and blow my budget because it isnt fair that other people don't have to budget at all?

No, it isn't "fair" that other people get to have baked potatoes and enjoy cupcaked in moderation. But it also isn't fair to hold myself back from losing weight because I'm overly concentrated on what would be "fair"
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