I've spent the day coming to grips with my relapse
 

I think its finally set in that I relapsed into poor, emotional eating, over eating... :(
Since May or so, I've pretty much maintained. Yes, I wanted to lose, but I was happy to see I was living a lifestyle that did not cause gaining.

I think it crept up about 2 weeks ago when my son was in the hospital. Nothing super serious, they just wanted to start IV antibiotics for 24 hours on something before switching to oral. Then a week later we moved, and the obvious degrading of my eating was becoming apparent.
Then 1 week later, still buried in boxes, with the stress of needing to finish emptying out the old place by Sept 1st (which is still looming) we had this hurricane coming!! :fr:
OMG, I just slipped into "survival" mode, which can be easily confused with "eat til you drop" mode.
:eating2:
So, today, as I hovered somewhere between watching my diet and eating as much of what ever I wanted, I realized fuuuuuuuu-dgsilces, fat free of course, ;)I'm eating like my old self. This is a problem because ONE, although I've been maintaining, I will definitely start to gain if I keep this up, and TWO, since January I have dedicated myself to becoming a runner. And I've really come to love it. I'm doing a 5K in October, but I've already been seriously considering doing a half marathon in the spring. Except it seems the more I weigh the HARDER it is to move my bady at better speeds, and the less I weigh (I've noticed as I've lost) it gets easier and I get faster. I know if I can get these last 15 lbs off, my running will improve. Besides, its hard to get a good run when all I'm eating is junk food.:^:

So I came to grips with the fact that I've relapsed, and I need to be here now, more than ever. I need to go back on a food plan. Which I didnt want to do. :tantrum:I've been eating intuatively over the past few months and it seems my intuative eye is guessamating bigger portions.:hun: Plus, its obvious that my intuative eating was not leading to weigh loss, which I do want to finally finish this weighloss project.

So, I'm back. I need to get a plan back together. Calories per day, and per meal. I'm going to be here a lot! :dizzy:So get used to my face! :woohoo:lol...or Marilyn Monroe's face! haha!:lol:

Congrats on realising this now. It shows you are really learning. I wish you luck with the rest of your journey:carrot::carrot:

Thank you! :)

:hug: :hug: :hug:

Every time I've ever tried intuitive eating, I've never been able to do it without gaining weight. I would like it to work for me, but I've finally accepted that I need some sort of outside, "artificial" regulator (e.g., counting calories) to lose weight. It seems like you've realized the same. Good luck to you!