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Old 08-25-2011, 09:14 PM   #1
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Default idk what to do anymore

I really feel like giving up. I got on the scale just now and I gained 5 pounds. I ate like crap all day and i knew i was doing it but i couldnt stop and i kept telling myself "remember the goal you set for august, you're not going to 10 pounds lighter now..." so i ate some more...

and then i debated for the last 3 hours wether i will work out or not, and then finally decided to do TurboFire F30, thinking i could burn at least 400 calories... 10 minutes into my workout the neighbor from downstairs started complaining about my jumping around... wtf.

i can't f'ing win, it's like i'm supposed to live in this body that i hate so much. i feel like such a failure. I have no friends because i refuse to go out anymore for the last 2 years and they have given up on me since i feel so uncomfortable but i cant stop eating and i cant work out. I just dont know what to do anymore.
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Old 08-25-2011, 09:21 PM   #2
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I really feel like giving up. I got on the scale just now and I gained 5 pounds. I ate like crap all day and i knew i was doing it but i couldnt stop and i kept telling myself "remember the goal you set for august, you're not going to 10 pounds lighter now..." so i ate some more...


All or nothing thinking like this will forever supress your efforts. So you ate bad for lunch... eat better for dinner. You ate bad for a week... start clean the next day. There is no rule that says you might as well give up if you've eaten bad or been off plan for X amount of time. Pick yourself up and move forward! You can do it!

You fell off the wagon. It happens to most (if not all) of us. Besides, looking at your weight stats, it looks like you have had some good success. Hang in there!
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Old 08-25-2011, 09:25 PM   #3
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We all have been there. I have been a binger for more than half my life. You just can't belittle yourself for not losing 10lbs this month. There is always September. I went through that and end up gaining tons of weight in that vicious cycle.

Be proactive. Set little goals for the day. Maybe, "Today I will get in all my water." Keep adding something each day. You have already lost 17 lbs which is so great. Keep that in mind. You can do it. You will do it. You just have to have some faith in yourself.
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Old 08-25-2011, 10:20 PM   #4
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(Also, don't weigh yourself in the evening! Whatever you ate throughout the day will be in your tummy and digestive system. No weighing until morning!)

(Double also: in order to have gained 5lb you would have to have consumed 17,500 calories OVER your maintenance calories. Are you sure you have had that many extra calories since the last time you weighed? No? Didn't think so!)
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Old 08-25-2011, 10:26 PM   #5
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IMO the most important aspect of successful weight loss is STAYING POSITIVE. This is just a minor setback, not a catastrophe.

The extra cals will rev up your metabolism, the water weight bloat will go down, and whats left will come off easily.

A big key to weight loss is not letting a bad day or few days snowball. Getting right back on track afterwards. Just get back on and the weight will come off eventually.

You can do this. One hour and one day at a time.

Good Luck!!
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Old 08-25-2011, 11:00 PM   #6
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I think that as long as you're in that frame of mind, your weight loss isn't going to be successful, because most likely you'll keep returning to food for comfort. It's the same in my case- if I let myself get into too bad of a state, then I feel "hungry" all the time- which I think actually means that I'm trying not to admit to myself that I'm using food as medicine for my emotions.

You're also like a lot of us in your all or nothing approach. You don't have to keep eating just because you already ate something bad, but I do exactly the same thing. I'm much more prone to it when I'm all worked up.

I think that more than being OP, you need to be focusing on your emotional wellbeing. Weight loss is, to put it simply, hard, and you can't face anything difficult if you're fighting your own mind.
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Old 08-26-2011, 12:48 AM   #7
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A couple thoughts.

What does "eating like crap" mean? Fat loss/gain is about calories not about good vs bad food.

You didn't gain 5 lbs of fat. Don't panic. Did you gain some fat? Probably but it takes 3500 excess calories to add a pound of fat. So unless you went on some kind of amazing binge the actual amount of fat you gained is probably minro.

Experiment with different ways of dieting. Everyone is a little different but generally speaking processed foods and sugar without fiber are the kinds of food that do little to satiate hunger and often do just the opposite so consider eliminating them completely for a while.

Lastly - don't beat yourself up but also don't allow yourself to be a victim of circumstance. The world is not out to get you. You could have gone on a brisk walk for 45 mintues and burned 400 calories.

It is cliche but it is true to say that it doesn't matter how many times you fall as long as you get back up. Shake it off - think about what you learned - move on.
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Old 08-26-2011, 02:11 AM   #8
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i can't f'ing win, it's like i'm supposed to live in this body that i hate so much. i feel like such a failure. I have no friends because i refuse to go out anymore for the last 2 years and they have given up on me since i feel so uncomfortable but i cant stop eating and i cant work out. I just dont know what to do anymore.
I don't think you need to feel this badly about yourself because of your weight. My stats were a lot worse before I started and I never felt like that. Don't get me wrong, I was pretty darned unhappy about my weight, but I wasn't self-hating and self-punishing about it. And you don't have to be. For one thing, I'd say you should look around and see that this is hard for an awful lot of people. You are not in this situation because of a personal failing. You are here because your metabolism is what it is and you live in a society where food is what it is and those two things are not meshing well. You haven't yet figured out how to make it work for yourself, but if you keep trying (and maybe keep failing for a little while) you will figure it out.

One thing that really helped me feel better about myself and my body was reading up online about the fat acceptance movement and Health At Every Size. I discovered it several months before I started losing and I don't think it was a coincidence that I started losing after that.

Also, you mentioned that you can't stop eating and you can't work out. Well, I haven't been doing an exercise so far on my weight loss journey. I'm not sure if you were just referring to your downstairs neighbor or if it is a more global problem with working out. If it is, then maybe you should see what you can do just with the eating part of things and save the working out for some point in the future.
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Old 08-26-2011, 09:17 AM   #9
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Get rid of the "give up" mentality. You say you want your body to change. I know that not sticking directly to plan feels like a failure. I have felt this way many times. I decided to fail as many times as I needed to in order to get to a healthy weight. I may fail many times and sometimes daily but I will never give up. To give up is to give up on my health and life. I am not willing to do that. I am willing to be a person who's failed myself to a healthy weight. It's might not be the perfect diet philosophy but I am not a perfect person so it works for me.
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Old 08-26-2011, 11:21 AM   #10
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Originally Posted by Scarlett View Post
The extra cals will rev up your metabolism, the water weight bloat will go down, and whats left will come off easily.!!
^^^
This
and

"
Quote:
Lastly - don't beat yourself up but also don't allow yourself to be a victim of circumstance. The world is not out to get you. You could have gone on a brisk walk for 45 mintues and burned 400 calories
."
^^^^^
This
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Old 08-26-2011, 11:26 AM   #11
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This is one reason that I advocate against time-based weight goals. If you set a goal like "lose 10 pounds in August," now that August is almost over and you clearly aren't going to meet that goal, you have practically given yourself license to give up.

Instead, try setting a goal like "stay on plan every day for 30 days" or even just "stay on plan for today" or even just "make the best choice the very next time I am faced with an eating opportunity". I find that this kind of behavior-oriented - rather than results-oriented - mindset makes it a lot easier to get right back on the horse immediately after a slip-up. Immediately meaning at the very next eating opportunity - not even the next day or "after the weekend" or whatever.

If you can take control over your behavior, the results will follow. So start your plan right now and pledge to stay on plan today. if you slip up, get up and keep right on going. That's all you have to do.
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Old 08-26-2011, 12:00 PM   #12
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I feel you... I have not set any goals, purely out of the fear that I will not meet them and then mess up what I have going for me. Instead of setting "lose X pounds by X date," you could try to set different goals for yourself. For example, the first time I can bike to my class without almost DYING on a particular hill, I will reward myself... with what? I'm not sure yet. A new shirt maybe, or something nice for my apartment (I'm still having trouble with the concept of not rewarding myself with certain foods... chocolate).
Another technique I have found to work well for me, is to DON'T THINK too much - when the thought crosses your mind, "I should work out" - go NOW and change into your clothes, and get going before your mind drifts to the "ugh, this is going to be really difficult and tiring.." once you get going, it's not so bad. Just gotta get past the initial "this is going to suck" thought.
But hey, give yourself a break. Don't be so hard on yourself! Everyone relapses once in a while. The best thing you can do is look forward to the next day, and forget about yesterday. Chin up.
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Old 08-26-2011, 12:13 PM   #13
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This always helps me get back on plan when I'm in a "this is never going to work I'm a failure" mood.

We all know the cycle...in the next day or week or so you are going to get your mojo back and decide "Heck Yes, I can do this". Then you will look back at the past day or week and think "look at the progress I could have made, but I was so caught up in eating and feeling like poo that I pushed my goal another x amount of days back."

Try to remember that at times you feel defeated, those are the times that matter the most, when your efforts really pay off. Anyone can eat great when things are going smooth. It's how we handle the crappy times when our neighbor is beating on the ceiling that really make the difference.

Don't let this get the best of you, you are doing great...I bet being in the 190's felt AMAZING, dont loose that feeling. You go girl!!!!!!!

P.S. I struggle with secluding myself too...I'm now on am antidepressant that seems to be helping me. Just a thought...I know the feeling of hiding away and it sucks

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Old 08-26-2011, 01:51 PM   #14
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First off, don't give up because of one slip up!!! We have ALL been there and those that are the most successful are NOT the ones who are a 100% perfect but the ones who get right back up after falling off the wagon. When it comes to lifestyle changes the all or nothing attitude will get you nowhere, what you really need is perseverance because that will get you through all the bumps in the road.

Remember, we all go through bad times. Sometimes you really can't have control over what you eat (if you have to travel for work, you have a major upset with your family and have to eat out a lot for a period, you have a major move etc). These things happen but you just have to start up again right away afterwards.

As for the workout. I've BTDT too and have had annoying neighbors. Can you get a carpet that you can do your workout on top of so that it won't bother them? Can you try to do it at a time of day when it's not an issue? You might just want to tell them (or the landlord) that you will be working out at a certain time of day and they just have to deal with it.
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Old 08-26-2011, 01:55 PM   #15
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This is one reason that I advocate against time-based weight goals. If you set a goal like "lose 10 pounds in August," now that August is almost over and you clearly aren't going to meet that goal, you have practically given yourself license to give up.

Instead, try setting a goal like "stay on plan every day for 30 days" or even just "stay on plan for today" or even just "make the best choice the very next time I am faced with an eating opportunity". I find that this kind of behavior-oriented - rather than results-oriented - mindset makes it a lot easier to get right back on the horse immediately after a slip-up. Immediately meaning at the very next eating opportunity - not even the next day or "after the weekend" or whatever.

If you can take control over your behavior, the results will follow. So start your plan right now and pledge to stay on plan today. if you slip up, get up and keep right on going. That's all you have to do.
+1 - this is VERY sound advice!
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