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Oh motivation, where art thou?

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Old 08-22-2011, 12:21 PM   #1
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Default Oh motivation, where art thou?

Today is a pretty darn tough day for me. Today is the day I slated to start my exercise and the day I was slated to start my online classes. Yes today was the day I that I start work on being a better me! However, today is just not going that way. I set today to start exercising because I got into a bit of an accident a few weeks ago (I flipped a mini dune buggy because I am a genius) so I was giving myself time to let those few bump and bruises recover. Well, they have.

The big issue that has me down is my classes. A few years back when I was in school, things got really bad at home and I had to become the breadwinner for my family. It was a combination of my mother’s illness and my father’s business partner dying and everything just not working out in the economy, so at 21, I gave up college and went to work full time. I just couldn’t afford to go anymore and we couldn’t afford to not have someone working steady full time. Since then, I have made great accomplishments. I have paid off land, a house, a car, and dug myself out of the debt we as a family acquired. However, I forgot to take care of me.

I’m now the biggest I have ever been due to my self-neglect. That I will work on, but I have always looked forward to going back to college. Well, a few months ago, I signed up. I did. I went to the school, got accepted into a program, the works. I even attended new student orientation and made a few new pals. I then find out that the school has dropped my program. Yes, DROPPED IT. It took so much nerve for me to do all that, and now I get the finger. It took four years for me to finally get back there, and when I do, it screws me up like this.

The college grouped me with a similar sister program, but it’s not exactly what I want to do, and since I have to pay out of pocket to go, I am going to do EXACTLY what I want to do. I’ve worked too hard for my money over the past four years to not do so.

So today sucks. I keep thinking of how great my first day of college was way back in 2005, and wish I were there again now, buying books and meeting people, heck, even standing in line waiting to meet with a financial aid officer. I still need to exercise though, but I just can’t make myself do it. I love exercising once I get started, but today, getting started is the problem.

Sorry for the long post and all the whining (I detest whining) but I had to get it out. I’m putting on this “It’s no big deal” façade to all the people who knew how excited I was, just because they have hardly ever seen me down. So I had to vent how down I really feel somewhere. But now… I have to located motivation for exercising… Where on earth is it?
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Old 08-22-2011, 12:36 PM   #2
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I heard this once and I have found it to be SO true- don't wait to feel better to workout; workout to feel better. I've also found that I can substitute the word "motivated" for the word "better" and it's still true.

Just show up. Go do it. You'll be happy you did. Take out your frustrations in the gym.

After all you've been through (a lot it seems), you're obviously a very hard worker and you know how to get sh*t done! So go get it done today- for yourself!

Pressure makes diamonds, love.

Hugs!
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Old 08-22-2011, 12:40 PM   #3
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I am so sorry all this has happened to you, sometimes life hardly seems fair at all. Honestly, having the amount of stress I have on me daily, I find refuge in my exercise... the more stress, the harder I go, and it seems to clear my head. Not only does it make putting up the fake positivity easier, but also seems to help pave the way to solutions that DO make me feel better come in my thoughts easier as well. Your motivation TO exercise, may just be IN the exercising. Try it and find out?
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Old 08-22-2011, 09:57 PM   #4
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Thanks much for the stuff to think about! I did work out, and felt good physcially, but still bummed out. Oh well, it'll take time to work through, but I did get some fantastic nuggets of advice. Thanks again!
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