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Old 08-20-2011, 11:21 PM   #1
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Default Father-in-law was found dead today...please help me stay out of the food.

We had not heard from him and had the police do a well check. They found his body. Looks like he went playing a video game and from natural causes. My husband and sister in law( who lives with us) are handling it their own way. They are both hurting and I am hurting because I can not fix them. My dh has had gaatric bypass a few years ago so he has a history if using food to escape. I want to dive into the pizza and cookies and ice cream right alongside him. My son (5 months) will never know his pop. And pop will never get to know any of his other grandkids. I just wish I knew what to do. I know food is not the answer but when it hurts this bad its looking like a better alternative. Except when the food is gone he will still be dead.

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Old 08-20-2011, 11:26 PM   #2
Life is about balance
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abbysue I'm so so sorry You're right food isn't the answer, but at times like this is there any right answer?
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Old 08-20-2011, 11:39 PM   #3
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I'm so sorry. This will be a hard time. You will probably have a lot of food around for a while. I wouldn't stress out about each calorie you put in your mouth right now - go into maintenance mode for a week or 2. But remember, the better you eat, the better you will be able to be there for your husband and his family.
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Old 08-20-2011, 11:56 PM   #4
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I'm so sorry
~Made of star stuff~
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Old 08-21-2011, 01:53 AM   #5
Making myself fat-free.
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I'm so sorry, you have my condolences. My husband's father passed away right before we got married last year, and it is incredibly hard knowing that he will not be there for all those milestones in our lives and the lives of our future children. I have no words of wisdom, because at that time we overindulged and are only now getting on track from the many pounds we gained through losing his father and my grandmother. So all I can say is I'm so sorry this happened. :hugs:

Try to focus on being there for your family and put your focus on yourself and them instead of the food. I agree with maintaining for awhile instead of trying to lose weight. Try not to stress about every single thing you eat, but also try to be mindful to not just eat to try to make you feel better - because unfortunately, it won't.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

SW: 260
First mini goal: 250 COMPLETED
Second mini goal: 230 COMPLETED
Third mini goal: 200
1 for every 5 lbs lost:

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Old 08-21-2011, 05:04 AM   #6
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food will temporarily distract and make you feel better, but then it will make you feel worse. just don't be too hard on yourself, because from the sounds of it, you guys are going through a lot right now. just remember that no matter how far you're set back on your weight loss goal, there's always tomorrow and picking things up where they left off if you allow it to come to that.

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Old 08-21-2011, 08:21 AM   #7
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So sorry for your loss. Try to stay away from the food but if you do give in do not beat yourself up over it. Just remember the food will not change anything.Stay strong.
Goal 12/21/2007
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Old 08-21-2011, 08:39 AM   #8
I Will do this....
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I am so sorry for your loss. My Father in law died a week into this journey. I vowed with all my heart that I would not give into the food demons that had got me to 300lbs. It was tough, but i didn't give in, and I no longer turn to food for comfort.
Give yourself a break, believe in what you have already achieved, and don't be hard on yourself if you eat something that you regret- just get back on plan when you are able.
Take care

Restart 7.1.15- Am going to re-do this
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Old 08-21-2011, 09:04 AM   #9
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I am so sorry for your loss, truly I am. When I lost my mom a few years ago, the only thing that prevented me from going over the deep-end, so to speak, was exercise. I'm not kidding. It literally saved my life. I felt so out-of-control that I felt this was the one thing that I could control - the way my body looked. I don't know if this helps or not but food is definitely not the answer. My heart goes out to you because I know EXACTLY how you feel. My prayers are with you and your family at this difficult time.
40-ish and feeling fine.

Last edited by fitmom; 08-21-2011 at 09:04 AM.
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Old 08-21-2011, 09:04 AM   #10
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I am so sorry for you loss. You've gotten some amazing feedback. I hope it helps. Again, I am sorry for your loss.
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Old 08-21-2011, 10:29 AM   #11
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I am so sorry!! You have my prayers.

Ultimate Goal = 160
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Old 08-21-2011, 11:30 AM   #12
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Food won't bring him back to life and will add guilt to your grief. I'm very sorry you are experiencing this. You need to find another way to cope.

HW 356 pounds - CW 135 - GW 137

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
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Old 08-21-2011, 11:35 AM   #13
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I am so sorry. ((hugs))
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