To succeed, I personally had to take blame entirely off the table. Being angry and harsh with myself, didn't work - so it didn't really matter whether I was "right" or not about it being all my fault.
I've found that most people respond better to compassion than blame, ridicule, and recriminations. As a probation officer I never told any of my probation clients "You're an idiot, and you can only blame yourself for the mess you're in, and until you hate yourself, as much as everyone else hates you, you'll never amount to anything."
Most of us would never say things like that to our worst enemy, and yet we say it to ourselves all the time for the "crime" of eating when we're not hungry - or the crime of not knowing whether or not we're really hungry.
Is it really a sin worse than any other? Then why do we treat it that way?
You don't have to assign blame in order to make the necessary changes. You just have to make the changes. And how do you know which changes you need to make? You experiment and see if they work - and if you fail, you don't have to blame and curse yourself, you just have to try something else, and evaluate it's effectiveness.
I use a reduced-carb exchange plan, and I try to write down everything I eat, even when it's not on plan. I don't always do it. I make a lot of mistakes, but I'm still working at making the best choices I can - and when I don't, I don't beat myself up (mainly because I've learned it doesn't help).
Where dieting and weight loss is concerned, we waste a lot of time trying to decide whether we deserve punishment, and how much punishment and how to punish ourselves, instead of focusing on how to make the changes.
It doesn't matter how much of our issues are our fault, and how much are physiological. It doesn't even necessarily matter whether we're incorrectly blaming (or exonerating) ourselves. What matters is finding ways to make the changes we want to make.
Personally, I find it can be done without assigning any blame to anyone. Just by experimenting and sticking with the experiments that work.
I discovered (essentially by accident) that when I'm not on birth control, I am so hungry during PMS/TOM that I am a non-stop eating machine. I don't have to blame my hormones or myself to decide to use the birth control that helps control my hunger.
Even with birth control, I'm hungrier during the few days before my period and few days into it - so I mark those days on the calendar so I'm prepared for them. I eat lower-carb during those days because it helps control the "rabid hunger."
I don't have to blame me, my period, or anyone or anything else - I just have to do more of the stuff that helps and less of the stuff that doesn't.
For some reason, we've been taught to focus on assigning blame rather than finding success. Instead of focusing on "doing more of the stuff that works, and less of the stuff that doesn't," we waste time and effort trying to decide who and what is at fault.
I'm not saying not to look for patterns, but don't feel the need to assign blame to the patterns. Look for the patterns not so you know who or what to blame (and how much to blame), but so that you can develop strategies that work - test your strategies and adjust them if they don't work.