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Old 08-15-2011, 01:33 PM   #1
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Location: Glasgow, Scotland
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Default weight and personality

Sorry for the heavy (no pun intended) nature of this post. I have recently felt very let down and saddened by two people who I was very close to (separate incidents.) It got me thinking as to reasons I have been treated this way and I do sometimes wonder if my weight (been overweight since childhood) has moulded my personality into someone who puts others first and is maybe even a people-pleaser. I don't want this to sound like a "poor me" post - this is life, but just wondering your views and why I'm only getting this insight all of a sudden. Maybe I'm just blaming stuff on my weight.
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Old 08-15-2011, 01:53 PM   #2
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Location: New York
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Honestly you could have described me—up until 5 years ago or so. I became a MAJOR people-pleaser in elementary school because I figured out that people would leave me alone and not make fun of me for my weight.

It was only until I got to college that I realized that I could stand up for myself. It helped that I was in an exclusive honors-type program that allowed me to take classes with the same 40 or so people. We all became an opinionated family I learned that I DIDN'T have to just please others; I COULD stand up for myself and state my opinion and if I didn't like something, I could say so! My personality changed dramatically throughout my undergrad years and I made many wonderful friends because of it.

Now that I'm losing weight, The only shift I've noticed is my clothing size and eating habits. I don't seem to have any boosts of confidence or anything like that...I think I got it all back in college!

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Old 08-15-2011, 02:11 PM   #3
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i'm like that too. well, when i have all the weight on, anyway. i always come out of my shell and stand up for myself when i lose weight. i'm a lot more aggressive, but a lot more playful, as well. maybe as you lose weight you will find your confidence.

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Old 08-15-2011, 02:17 PM   #4
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I understand where you're coming from... I am a MAJOR people pleaser as well. I've been that way for so long that I'm sometimes not sure how to figure out what I actually want in a given situation!

I don't think it's just my weight that has molded me into that role, but I do think that's been a big part of it.
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Old 08-15-2011, 03:37 PM   #5
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Location: A Nebraska Farm
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Height: 5'6"


In real life I have always been a people pleaser. Fat or thin, I've always gone out of my way to make other people happy. I can honestly say that there are very few people in my life who would do the same for me. However, when I discovered the Internet many years ago, I found that I could hide behind a screen name and be much more outspoken than I would ever be in public. Good for me I guess, bad for the people who tick me off on-line...lol
Highest weight - 333 pounds. Lost 193 pounds by calorie counting in 2008/09. Regained 73 pounds in the last 7 years and am working on getting back to a normal BMI.
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Old 08-15-2011, 04:02 PM   #6
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Height: 5'3.75"


I would say that it is just as likely, maybe even more likely that your tendency to put yourself last has led to the weight rather than the other way around.
Lost successfully, maintained successfully. Followed by a whole lot of setbacks and obstacles. Starting over with the knowledge gained before.
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