I'm not sure what you're looking for tonight.
A hug? We've got plenty of those.
Or maybe just what we see from the outside.
[Tough Love] And you can skip this if it's not what you want:
I see excuses.
You don't like counselors, you don't want to talk about how you feel. You think they make it worse. Well, a lot of the times things do get worse before they get better.
You just want to give up. You want to eat sugar and binge. But, you know that's not enough, because next week you'll just want that fix again. You'll just want to eat more sugar and binge.
As a brief comparison - when a drug addict goes into rehab... they get worse. There's pain, and misery, and discomfort, and they're out of their element, and they are forced to deal with situations and emotions that normally they would merely get high about and forget. They go to counseling for a long time. And there are days when it's still a struggle.
They still do it. You know why? There's no other choice. They can either live in their fantasy world where their brief high is fleeting and causing a worse low. Or they can clean themselves up, take a head-on view of their REAL problems and truly live.
You're binging, because it makes you feel good momentarily. How does it make you feel after?
How does avoiding the problems -really- make you feel? Because they don't go away. They add up. They add up, and then you need more food and more binging to drown them.
Talk to someone. A therapist. A counselor. A mentor. You're going through things that this forum is not going to be able to walk you through individually. Dealing with the problems is a lot better than burying them. They just get worse.
[/end tough love]