So I know this serves no real purpose other than to blow off steam, but I am so sick of feeling gross when I go to try on clothing. I mean, I've lost almost 50 pounds, but every day that I spend obsessing over calorie counts feels like such a sham when I go to buy new clothing and I still look like crap.
Honestly, it's not like anything can change this, but being my height REALLY sucks. I mean, I won't even be normal-weight in appearance after 10 more pounds...heck, most 5'1"-ers have to go all the way to 125-130 just to look average weight. I know it's simply the reality of things, but every day is getting more and more painful when after all this hard work, I still have fat thighs that look huge in jeans, I still am thick looking from the side, I still have a lot of pooch and my arms are still huge. I mean HOLY ****, I don't even want to be skinny, just average...chubby-average, even. Arghhhh.
Buying jeans tonight was one of the most heart breaking experiences I've had in a long time. Down 50 lbs, and I still can't wear the things I want. Still have the same crummy shape I had before. Still can't feel good about anything I cover myself with. Meh.
-end rant-