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Old 08-09-2011, 08:12 PM   #1
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So my husband and I are losing weight together, which is great because there's a built in support system. He's really encouraging and great to be in this together.

The only problem, he's losing weight way faster than me! I know I should be happy for him, and I am. But, we both completely changed our diets, and he has the added bonus of working out at work since he works in a warehouse while I am chained to a desk or a car for at least 10 hours a day. When we started a little over 2 weeks ago, he weighed 280 and I was 259. It upset me that I was so close to him in the first place, but now I'm 254 and he's 266. How did that happen so quickly!?

If he keeps going this fast I'll be the same weight as him and he's a foot taller than me!!

I have no idea how to handle this and every time I think about how close we are in weight I want to start crying, but I also want to still be supportive and happy for him so have avoided the subject. So I come to you ladies for support! Anyone else have gone/going through a similar situation?
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Old 08-09-2011, 08:17 PM   #2
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Men naturally lose weight faster than women. Don't let it discourage you. You are doing it for yourself right. So make yourself happy. I read a book once by a lady Dr. and she explained why God made mens metabolism faster than ours and why we hold on to our fat with a stronger grip than men. Good luck
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Old 08-09-2011, 08:19 PM   #3
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My husband is 6'1" tall and weighs 175 pounds. I'm 5'6.5" tall and my GOAL is 175!!! I'm currently 193 and have weighed as much as 275. It's not that uncommon actually.

Reality is, men's metabolism is way faster than women's and they lose faster. They can make more bad decisions with what seems like less consequences on the scale (which isn't really true, it just means it slows them down a bit, but could still be faster than you.).

BOTH of you have to realize that it's not that he's doing more. It's just the gift of being male. Well, sort of. If you are eating the same calories, he's actually doing more for weight loss as his metabolic needs are higher.

Don't sweat it. If you both stick with it, he will surpass you and it will be soon, so be prepared for it. The important thing though is that you are both supporting each other to become healthier people. Who gets there first or faster isn't the point.
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Old 08-09-2011, 08:19 PM   #4
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Yeah, I have heard that before. I don't think it's really the fact that he's losing it faster than me that's bothering me. It's more the fact that we will eventually be the same weight or him even being lower than me.
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Old 08-09-2011, 08:21 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CindylouNWatson View Post
Men naturally lose weight faster than women. Don't let it discourage you. You are doing it for yourself right. So make yourself happy. I read a book once by a lady Dr. and she explained why God made mens metabolism faster than ours and why we hold on to our fat with a stronger grip than men. Good luck
Totally agree with this. Men generally lose weight faster and with less effort (not fair!). To the OP: You're moving in the right direction however, so be proud!

You may want to look at your diet if you wish to lose at a faster pace. If you've got a sedentary job AND you're a foot shorter than your husband you likely need to eat quite a bit less than him.

I know how you feel though, for most of my relationship with my fiancee, I've weighed more than him (he is also a foot taller). However I now weigh significantly less than him and can't quite wrap my head around that concept
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Old 08-09-2011, 08:22 PM   #6
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Meliz, I can totally relate. But it is fact that men lose weight way faster than women. My personal experience is that my husband and I have tried and succeeded at losing weight many times together. See, when I am on board, he doesn't even have to think about weight loss. He eats what I buy and make, so walla, like magic....the weight just falls off him with little to no effort. I have in the past let this drag me down and make me quit because of the frustration. My advice is don't let this happen to you. This time around (and this WILL be the last gosh darned with sprinkles on top time) I am only worrying about me. I track his weight, so I am keeping tabs on him, BUT I am not letting his quick success derail me. And I hope you don't either. Don't worry about him....you are more important!! LOL!
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Old 08-09-2011, 08:22 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MeliZ View Post
Yeah, I have heard that before. I don't think it's really the fact that he's losing it faster than me that's bothering me. It's more the fact that we will eventually be the same weight or him even being lower than me.
That's a head messing thing. Probably somewhere in your head you thought, "yes, I'm overweight, but at least I'm not heavier than my spouse." Well, that's twisted thinking. And, you simply need to get over it. You are working on getting healthier and thinner. Just keep with that and forget about how much he weighs. That's his weight. Worry about your own.
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Old 08-09-2011, 08:24 PM   #8
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Thanks for the support!

He's eating way more calories than me, but he also burns weigh more. I do know that guys lose weight faster, I just am having trouble wrapping my brain around the fact that we're going to end up being the same weight. I always I think almost purposely picked guys that were a little better. And while I want to lose weight together and both be healthy and am really glad we are. Emotionally I am having some problems realizing that this means for the first time in my life, I'll be with someone who weighs less than me. I wouldn't change it, because I want to have him for a very very long time and I know us living our life to the fullest means we have to lose weight. And both of us really want too. I just am struggling to get used to the idea of him weighing less than me.

Edit: I am not letting it mess me up. I just do think it's a hard concept to realize and just wanted other people's thoughts.
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Last edited by MeliZ : 08-09-2011 at 08:27 PM.
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Old 08-09-2011, 10:36 PM   #9
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We lose slower because we women have hormones related to pregnancy and our cycles while men do not have this. That is why they lose faster then us.
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Old 08-09-2011, 10:45 PM   #10
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If I let that bother me, I'd never get any sleep! My husband has weighed LESS than me since I started gaining weight in 2008-2009. I got so excited at my last weigh-in because I was FINALLY lower than him on the scale. Guess what? Later that same day he weighs himself. Point 8 pounds lower than me! .8! AND HE WASN'T EVEN TRYING! (And it was in the evening, so he's probably much more than .8 pounds less than me.) I definitely had a little tantrum because this is a man who eats a jumbo fudge round for breakfast every morning, goes out for fast food multiple times a week, does nothing active besides mowing the lawn (on a riding mower) once every two weeks. (And our lawn is tiny!) Meanwhile, I'm limiting myself to 1,200 calories, busting tail at the gym every day, and I'm losing but come on! I do not understand why it's so dang easy for some of them, but it seems to be! Now I'm hoping to get below him again this week. Lol, ridiculous, but it will probably become some kind of silly motivation for me. "Oh! Gotta lose 2 pounds this week to weigh less than my husband!"

Try not to let it get to you. Or, if you must, use it for motivation to keep going. Most of us here have been in that position. Just don't let it discourage you too much.
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Old 08-09-2011, 11:41 PM   #11
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Yes, for a period I weighed the same as my husband (who is 10 inches taller!) and it did suck. It's not a good feeling. But I tried not to focus on it, and focus on the future instead.

My husband is the same way, he'll exercise and eat semi-right for just a few days and lose like 10 pounds. I'm happy for him, but so jealous too! Just tonight he hopped on the elliptical for an hour and burned over 1,000 calories! So he can eat a lot and still lose, meanwhile I struggle to burn 200-300 calories on the elliptical and have to eat sooo much less, just to lose ANYTHING.

Don't let the numbers get to you. Keep on pushing, and use your husbands quick weight loss as inspiration and motivation.
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Old 08-10-2011, 12:24 AM   #12
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There's a reason for that, he's a man. Unfortunately they lose it so much faster. Mostly cause of their muscle mass. It suck especially since my husband now has a six pack, never struggled with food issues, and thinks he's being helpful when he points out how he knows how to lose weight so much better than I do since he has done it and it's working. Mind you he eats like 900 calories a day and his daily menu is a protein shake, 3 cand of tuna or a can of beans, and a salad or subway for lunch. Nutritionally he is severely lacking . At least I quietly know that I'm right and he's wrong, just wish I could get him to see it lol
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Old 08-10-2011, 12:26 AM   #13
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When I met my husband I weighed a whopping 50 pounds more than he did! Its taken me 3 years to catch up to him (thankfully he put on a few pounds). But its so true that men lose weight a lot quicker than women and its frustrating but you have to remember that he loved you at 259 and he'll love you at 254 and so on regardless of how much he weighs.
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Old 08-10-2011, 08:41 AM   #14
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I hear the underlying frustration. I'm sure it's not a huge deal but still something that seems .....'unfair' ?!

My husband and I started together and in one year he lost his 100lbs and has maintained since.

Now it took me a whole extra year cause I was bigger to equal up to him.
It was ALWAYS my goal my to catch up to him and pass him with the desire to be lighter than my man!

Be patient...it will happen! It took me lots of 'time' but when he was done 'losing' he kept doing the same thing that got him there and same thing that was getting me there! Lifestyle changes are like that...something you don't ever stop, so easy to live and transition into that it stops becoming a race and starts to be more about living and feeling great and healthy!

I just get it though....a woman...the hormones (plus I had pcso slowing me down) but you will get there!

Let me just say...I'm ten lbs lighter than my man and we look the same size but it does feel 'AMAZING' to be smaller than him on the scale...for me in my head, lol.

Hold Strong!
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